


Journeys toward dawn – Part 1

by Wanderwoman1



Series: Journeys Toward Dawn [1]
Category: HZD - Fandom, Horizon: Zero Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Mild Gore, Mild Sexual Content, Oseram culture, Post-Canon, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-10-27 03:52:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 85,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10801140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wanderwoman1/pseuds/Wanderwoman1
Summary: Erend and Aloy undertake a series of journeys.  Exploring relationships.  Navigating grief.  Discovering purpose and the possibilities for the future.This story chronicles the first year after the final battle.





	1. Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what it is about Horizon: Zero Dawn that has me so inspired. I haven't done a single piece of creative writing since high school, but when I finished the game I just couldn't let it go. I wanted to know what happened next. I wanted to know the outcomes of some of the storylines. I just wanted to spend more time in the world that Horizon: Zero Dawn had created.
> 
> This story will be told primarily from Erend's point of view. I just love that guy - he's definitely my favourite secondary character in the game. Any guy with the confidence to pull off a mohawk and muttonchops is all right in my book. 
> 
> I wanted to see the world through Erend's eyes, and I hope that I've done his character (and the experience of being male, which I'm not) justice.

The smoke had barely cleared before Erend and Aloy were back to work. The Spire was littered with rubble and downed machines, and the pained moans of injured warriors could be heard all around them. Erend did a quick headcount – he had brought three vanguardsmen with him onto The Spire, the rest had stayed in the city to fight there. No doubt lives had been lost, but he wondered if these three had survived. He saw Roan helping an injured Nora woman nearby. He could barely make out Ando through the smoke of the deathbringer, but he was there and he was moving. Erend couldn’t tell if he was injured or not, but if he was it didn’t appear to be serious. Where was Kort? He turned, scanning, but couldn’t see him. He clambered over the remains of what had been a stone wall, and there – he was pinned under a bellowback. But he wasn’t moving. Erend rushed over to his man, and when he approached he could see that he was injured, but it didn’t appear to be life threatening. He knelt and slid off the vanguardsman’s helm. 

“Heh Captain, you made it!” Erend smiled down at him and nodded. “Did we win?” Kort asked, coughing. 

“Yah, we kicked their asses.” Erend replied, bringing a grin to the soldier’s face.

The battle was won, but Meridian was not yet in the clear. Erend, Aloy, and the other uninjured fighters evacuated The Spire, helping the injured down the long path. Erend and Roan carried Kort on a stretcher, as his leg had been broken when the bellowback fell on him. 

Once the group reached the Maizelands, Erend’s jaw fell. He had spent the entire battle at The Spire, and while he had known that the fighting down below would be bad, he hadn’t been prepared for this level of destruction. He was quickly snapped out of his moment of disbelief when Kort moaned at the jostling of their sudden stop. They resumed their trek, hurrying to find where the healers had gathered. Thankfully, Erend had sent Ando on ahead, to scout for the healers’ location, so no time would be wasted wandering.

The injured had barely sat down when Erend saw Aloy rushing off. He was right behind her, aware of the risks that the city still faced. She had a determined look on her face, the joy of their victory no longer brightening her eyes. They immediately began putting out fires. The people of Meridian looked to him for leadership, and so he organized the effort. Every able citizen was there, with buckets of every size, gathering water or soil to throw on the nearest fire. An inferno raged near the gate that had borne the brunt of the attack. It took hours, but they were finally able to get it under control and stop it from spreading. The buildings at the centre of the blaze were lost, but at least they could prevent the fire from consuming the surrounding parts of the city.

Erend and Aloy were both coated in a thick layer of soot by the time the fires had been extinguished. Erend looked over at her, the triumphant look returning to her eyes as the last flicker of flames died out. Rivulets of sweat streaked the grime on her face, her hair was a matted mess, and yet somehow she was still the most beautiful person he’d ever seen. How could that be, he wondered to himself. What unknown power does she possess, to be so amazing in every way?

His reverie was interrupted by an old woman, hurrying towards them. “Come quickly”, she shouted at them, urging them with the waving of her arms “my husband is trapped!”

It was times like this where Erend felt most useful. He wasn’t always the brightest star to have shone in the sky, he told himself as they rushed after the woman, but brute strength was something he could do.

The rest of the day was spent moving rubble and lifting beams, helping people who had been trapped when buildings collapsed around them. Some had injuries, having been crushed by falling debris. There were undoubtedly many within those buildings who were beyond help. But Erend rescued as many as he could, Aloy still by his side. Again, her intelligence shone through. He marveled at how she was able to quickly solve the puzzles required to extract someone from twisted buildings, indicating to him which rock or timber to lift or push if she wasn’t able to do it herself. It was brutal, backbreaking work, and yet somehow he found that he didn’t mind doing it. Aloy was beside him, and everything was going to be OK.

______

Nearing collapse, night having fallen hours before, both Erend and Aloy realized that they could not continue, at least not until they had had a chance to rest. 

Olin’s apartment had been repurposed as a temporary shelter for a few of the many families who had lost their homes. Every inn in the city was past capacity, with people sleeping on benches and on floors. Erend looked at Aloy, who had also obviously come to the same conclusion as he. Too tired to even talk, he gave a little wave of his hand in her direction and they stumbled to his house. They both fell asleep on his sitting room furniture, still in their armour and covered in grime. Neither of them had had the energy to crawl up the stairs to the bedrooms. 

The first rays of the sun were just beginning to peak over the horizon when they awoke. Erend grabbed a few pieces of stale bread from the kitchen and handed one to Aloy as they headed out the door. Blameless Marad was just down the street, obviously having intended to visit Erend. Avad, Marad explained as Erend and Aloy chewed hungrily on the bread, understood that Erend was not able to take the time to give reports in person. The wellbeing of citizens of the city came first, and Avad knew how important it was to have two people as capable as Erend and Aloy to lead the rescue efforts. Marad had been sent to find Erend, to get a brief report, and to bring it back to the king. Erend gave Marad all of the information that Avad would need, and Marad turned to go. Aloy, having finished her bread, jerked her head impatiently, as if to say “Let’s go!”. Erend was right on her heels, gobbling down the last few mouthfuls of bread. 

Neither of them spoke much for the rest of the day, other than to give instructions. Blameless Marad appeared again as the sun was beginning to set, and Erend filled him in on the day’s events as he braced his shoulders under yet another thick beam. Marad watched in amazement as Erend’s legs straightened, a seemingly impossible feat, and saw a young woman wiggle out from behind the wood. He took a step back when he heard Erend ask “Clear?” before stepping out from under the beam and allowing it to come crashing down to the ground. A thick cloud of dust and soot rose up into the air around the fallen timber, swirling behind Erend as he moved on to the next task. Oh yes, Avad would be proud to receive this latest report. 

____________

Days passed in a blur. Both Erend and Aloy worked to the point of exhaustion each day, never resting. There were people trapped that needed to be rescued. There were machines to break down and cart away, before they could attract Glinthawks and Scrappers. There was rubble to move, to allow carts carrying the injured people to pass through. Eventually, however, the biggest emergencies had been handled, the more urgent work done. Meridian was not yet in the clear, but the road to rebuilding would be a long one. 

Erend and Aloy, along with several members of the vanguard, were shifting some rubble that was blocking one of the streets when they saw a commotion nearby. Curious, Erend wiped his brow and made his way over to where they had gathered.

A sun priest stood on some nearby stones with a scroll in his hands. Once the people gathered around him and quieted down, he unfurled the scroll and began to read.

“The Sun King Avad, 14th Luminance in the Radiant Line, has decreed that, in honour of the hard work and sacrifice of the people of Meridian, tomorrow shall be a day of rest and renewal. All of those who are able are encouraged to take time to enjoy the day. The work of rebuilding our beloved city will begin once we have had the chance to mourn the fallen, and to celebrate our victory. Tomorrow night, a celebratory feast will be held. The Sun King Avad thanks each and every one of you for your service to Meridian.”

An excited buzz passed through the crowd. A day of renewal, followed by a feast hosted by the Sun King? Erend wasn’t sure if the Captain of the Vanguard was included in this ‘day of renewal’, but he was glad that Aloy would finally have some time to rest. The dark circles under her eyes worried him, and he couldn’t remember the last time either of them sat down to eat a proper meal. 

Once the work of shifting the last of the rubble was done, Erend and Aloy headed back to his apartment. Once they reached his door, he waved Aloy inside. He wanted to check in with Avad, he explained, and finally give him a proper report. Aloy smiled at him, and nodded. Erend continued on towards the palace, which wasn’t far from where he lived. Being Captain of the Vanguard had its perks.

As he approached the throne room, Erend hesitated. He hadn’t even taken the time to change his dirty armour, or wipe the thick layer of grime from his face. Oh well, he thought as he shrugged his shoulders, Avad would just have to deal with it. He was too tired and too sore to turn back now.

If Avad was offended at the sight of him, he gave no sign of it. In fact, Avad’s face lit up, and his eyes gleamed with – what was that – pride? Erend stood well back of his normal spot, though, suddenly keenly aware that he had not bathed since before the battle. No doubt, he thought, he probably stunk like a carcass that had been in the hot sun for a week. Avad just smiled at him, listening intently to his report. Blameless Marad had done a good job of keeping Avad up to date with the advancements of the rescue efforts, so there wasn’t much more to report on. 

“Erend” Avad finally said once the report was finished. “Your dedication is unmatched. Thank you for all that you have done, for me and for this city.”

“I must say, I realize that I my attentions have been elsewhere, and that my regular duties have suffered as a result” Erend replied. “I apologize for that, sir, and will spend tomorrow catching up.”

“Nonsense!” Avad exclaimed, giving Erend a bit of a start. “I came up with the idea for the day of rest and renewal specifically for you! I knew that this was the only way that I could get you to stop, if I ordered you to do so. So, consider this an order. You are to do no work tomorrow, not one little bit. No paperwork, nothing. I insist.”

Erend just stared at him, speechless. This took Avad somewhat by surprise, never having seen an Oseram speechless before.

“Why don’t you take Aloy somewhere outside the city” Avad continued “The Sun knows that she’s been working just as hard as you have, and is just as unlikely to voluntarily take time to rest.”

Erend finally nodded his head in agreement, which brought a smile to Avad’s face. He dismissed Erend, proud to have someone such as him by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I write, there are sometimes songs that pop into my head, representing particular scenes or capturing the emotions that I'm hoping to convey. I thought that I would include a chapter soundtrack when this happens.
> 
> Chapter 1 Soundtrack:  
> Hands - Jewel


	2. A day of rest and renewal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erend and Aloy enjoy a well-deserved day off.

The walk back from the palace gave Erend time to think. A day of rest, just he and Aloy? That sounded perfect. He wracked his brain, trying to come up with ideas for the ideal day. He dismissed several options before finally settling on one. Yes, it would be exactly what they both needed. He headed to the market to gather a few supplies, excitement causing his heart to thud in his chest.

__________

Aloy lifted her head groggily when she heard Erend come in. She hadn’t wanted to doze off, but it had been so difficult to keep her eyes open. She saw Erend, laden with bags. He had obviously been to the market after having spoken with Avad. He had brought all kinds of fresh breads, cheeses, fruits and nuts. Nothing that they would need to cook – thankfully. Neither of them had the energy for that, she was sure. 

He went into the kitchen, and she could hear him shuffling around, putting things away. Her stomach growled, and she followed him into the kitchen. He motioned to her to sit down at the table, and plopped a plate down in front of her. It overflowed with delicious goodness, and her mouth began to water. A large mug of water appeared beside her plate, as Erend set down his food and took the seat beside her. After several quiet minutes of the two of them inhaling their food, Erend leaned back and took a big swig from his mug. He hesitated a second before setting it down, smiling at her.

“What?” she asked, eyeing him suspiciously. “You’re looking at me funny.”

“I had an idea for the perfect ‘day of rest and renewal’ for us tomorrow.” Erend said, his smile growing. “It’s a surprise, though.”

Aloy looked surprised. Erend couldn’t tell whether it was because Avad had agreed to give him the day off, or because he had planned her a surprise.

“Avad insisted that the two of us take the day. Go somewhere outside of the city. In fact, I’ve been ordered to do so.” Erend hesitated, suddenly unsure of himself. “So, do you want to come with me on a surprise adventure?” he asked, a little more quietly than he may have liked. He was normally so confident, but something about Aloy made his lose his nerve.

“That sounds like fun, exactly what we both need” was Aloy’s reply, which caused Erend’s heart to soar.

“Great. I’ve got everything we need. Tomorrow morning, bring your armour and your weapons. I’ve got everything else covered.” Aloy smiled at him, an excited twinkle in her eye. Oh yah, this was going to be a fantastic day.

________

They both went to bed early, this time actually sleeping in their beds. Erend had given her his room, with the large comfortable bed, while he had taken a small mat and slept on the floor in Ersa’s room. It’s not that Ersa hadn’t had a bed – but there was no way that Erend could bring himself to sleep in it. It still smelled like her. Even being in her room was really difficult, but he had wanted to make sure that Aloy slept well. And if she caught him sleeping on the settee in the sitting room, she would have insisted that he return to his own bed, he was sure of it. 

They rose fairly late, the sun already in the sky by the time they set out. Erend led them out of the city and into the forest beyond. The terrain was familiar to Aloy, and she soon guessed where they were headed. 

They had walked for a while before Erend spoke. “Ersa told me about this place. She used to come here, on her rare days off. She liked to get out of the city, to be alone. She loved it. I hope that you’ll like it too.”

Soon enough, they were at a lake with a small gazebo that overlooked it. Aloy had killed a few snapmaws here once, but she never mentioned it to Erend. Thankfully, a quick scan with her Focus told her that there were no snapmaws here today.

They paused by the water’s edge and just soaked in the quiet beauty of the place. After the noise and mess and horror of the last several days, it felt good to breathe in some fresh air. It was cleansing, helping them both to clear their minds of what they had seen since they last had a quiet moment.

Aloy suddenly seemed nervous, shifting from side to side and looking around hesitantly. “Not to worry” Erend reassured her. “I got a swimming tunic for you.” From his pack, he pulled a long tunic, tightly woven. She smiled at him, but her ears still burned red. While the tunic was long enough to ensure that her modesty remained intact, she had never shown that much skin before. 

Erend, guessing at the source of her unease, turned around and went behind a bunch of tall ferns. He had also gotten a pair of short swimming pants for himself, of the same material as Aloy’s tunic. Normally, he wouldn’t mind swimming without them, but he knew that the only way to have Aloy join him was to make sure that she was comfortable. He leaned his pack against one of the trees, and dug through it until he pulled out the pants. He shrugged off his armour and peeled away the soiled tunic beneath it. “Yah, carcass in the sun” he said quietly, more to himself than to Aloy, as he got a whiff of himself. He quickly pulled on the pants and started walking towards the water.

He was nearly at the water’s edge when he heard Aloy, cursing and fumbling around behind a nearby bush. He tried his best to suppress a chuckle, only partially succeeding.

“You OK over there?” he called out to her.

“Yah, fine. It’s just a – oof – uhhh, hard to take off this armour while standing on one leg. I’ve almost got it.”

Erend shook his head, a grin stretched across his face. He waded into the water, slowly at first, and then dove in. His head popped out of the water just as Aloy emerged from her hiding spot. Erend tried not to stare, trying instead to focus on keeping his breathing steady. By the forge, she was beautiful. He could see the muscles in her legs flex as she walked towards him. Her tunic came down to her mid-thigh, but he couldn’t help but imagine all of the wonderous secrets that it kept from him. He treaded water as she walked towards him, the water swishing around her legs with each step. When she was deep enough, she plunged herself under water, coming back up almost immediately. She wiped the water from her face and smiled at him. Erend couldn’t help but notice how the wet tunic clung to her, how the hem seemed to float towards her waist. He was suddenly very thankful that the lake water was so cold.

He was still in a dream world when he noticed that she had started slowly swimming towards him, a look of confused fascination on her face. He didn’t dare move. When she was an arm’s length from him, she began treading water, looking at him intently. No, not him. His marks. 

“Oh, yah. I guess you’re wondering about my marks.” She nodded, and ran her hand gently along the length of one of the marks on his forearm. “Well, the Oseram have a tradition, when a child transitions into adulthood, they are tested – if they wish. A lot like The Proving, I suppose. Those who successfully complete the tests are marked with the symbols of their clan. Metal is heated until it is red hot, and that is used to mark the skin. Then, a paste made of forge ash and ink is rubbed into the fresh wound, to colour it. It’s part of a special adulthood ceremony. We are also gifted with our first real weapon by our parents” Erend hesitated “or, well, we’re supposed to be.” He perked back up, and continued. “The marks are unique to each clan, and are meant to honour our ancestors.”

Aloy continued to trace the lines and swirls on his arm. “They’re beautiful” she whispered, almost inaudibly.

Erend was finding it hard to tread water, without disturbing Aloy’s exploration of his skin. So he didn’t immediately notice the way she was looking at him. She had gone from admiring his marks to admiring, well, him. His years of swinging a war hammer and hefting heavy steel armour had ensured that he was thick with muscle, strong and sturdy. When Aloy noticed that he was watching her looking at his muscular arms, she blushed and bit her lip, casting her eyes down and pulling herself backwards in the water. Erend knew that she didn’t do it to be suggestive, but by the Forge, she had to know the effect that she had! 

They both treaded water for a moment, unsure of what to say. Erend decided that the best way to break the tension would be by making her laugh. He locked eyes with her, and pushed a handful of water towards her, splashing her face. She gasped, shocked at his daring, and with a laugh splashed him back. With that, they descended into a war of water, splashing each other and laughing like fools.

Erend eventually relented, surrendering to Aloy’s onslaught of splashes. She suggested another game, one that she used to play with Rost when she was small. She challenged Erend to see who could hold their breath under water the longest, a challenge which he quickly accepted. A few rounds later, Erend emerged the victor. He mockingly cheered his win as Aloy laughed at his antics. Erend didn’t think that there was a better sound in the whole world than the sound of her laugh.

After swimming around lazily, and playing a few more games, Erend’s stomach began to growl and he proposed that they break for lunch. Aloy looked at him with a confused look, unsure that she wanted to start hunting now. 

“I thought ahead” he reassured her “and I packed us a picnic lunch.” He made his way to shore, shaking the water from his hair. He went to his pack, and pulled out bundles of cheeses and fruits. He spread out a small blanket on the floor of the gazebo as she made her way out of the water. He watched her walking towards him, rivulets of water falling from her hair and tunic. He tried to distract himself with the preparation of the picnic, but was aware of exactly when she sat next to him, and exactly how far away she was. He looked at her and smiled warmly, again thankful that he had come up with this plan for their day.

They enjoyed a leisurely lunch, and chatted about nothing and everything. When they finished, Erend wrapped up the leftovers and went to his pack to put them away. Aloy could see that he was fishing around in the bottom of the bag, and wondered what he was looking for. He stood suddenly, turned to her and flashed a smile. Soap. He had packed a large bar of fresh soap, and a strange little bag that Aloy had never seen before. She beamed at him as he made his way back to her.

“I don’t know about you, but I know that I could sure use a deep scrubbing” he said, scrunching his nose. She nodded in agreement, and began to undo her braids. Erend watched in fascination as the braids came apart. They seemed so complicated, and certainly nothing that any Oseram woman or girl would bother with. 

“But first, I have to take care of this” Erend said, drawing imaginary circles around his face with his finger. From the little bag in his hand he pulled a little jar of oil, a small blade with a folding handle, and a piece of metal that was polished until the surface reflected whatever was in front of it. Aloy eyed him curiously as he settled on to a large sunny rock, propped the metal reflector on another rock in front of him and adjusted it so that he could see his face. He poured some of the oil from the little jar onto his fingertips, and began to massage his chin.

She watched him with curious eyes, so intensely that Erend was almost nervous. He turned his attention to the task at hand, more than happy to let her gawk at him. He flipped open the small knife, and began to run it against his skin. 

He couldn’t really speak while he was shaving, but Aloy quickly figured out what he was doing. When he paused to wipe his blade, he looked over his shoulder at her and said “I haven’t shaved since before the battle. What a mess I’ve got going on here! Shameful!” He turned back to his task, and Aloy continued to watch him as he worked. When he moved on to his cheeks, she came closer still and stood behind the mirror, her eyes wide with wonder. She watched each stroke of the blade. Erend looked up at her between each pass, unsure of what she found so fascinating about him. Surely, he was just a normal man doing normal man things. But who was he to question it?

His face finally finished, he moved the reflector towards his head and gave a loud huff. His hair had grown in quite a bit, and he normally didn’t do this part himself. Aloy noticed him hesitating.

“Do you want me to help you with that?” she asked.

Erend hesitated a while, considering her offer. “Ummm, alright.” he replied, although his voice didn’t really lend confidence to the notion that he was in any way alright with the idea. “Have you ever used a shaving blade before?”

“Well, no” she said, not helping his nerves. “But there’s no way that you’ll be able to do it all on your own anyway. I’ll be very careful.”

With the sincerity in her eyes, how could he refuse? He slowly folded the blade and passed it to her. She smiled, trying to put him at ease. She picked up the bottle of shaving oil and, mimicking the motions she had seen him do earlier, poured some onto her fingers. 

Erend had thought that he knew what bliss was, but having Aloy massage oil into his scalp was a whole new experience. He closed his eyes and just let himself enjoy the feeling. It felt nothing like it did when his barber Arlo did it. Her hands were soft, gentle, almost fluttering across the stubble of his hair. She rubbed around his ears, and he let out a little sigh that brought a smile to her lips. But when she put her hand on his shoulder and leaned to reach the back of his neck, his eyes snapped open. She was standing so close to him, her legs straddling one of his knees. Her hand on his bare flesh was like a tiny fire. She was still leaning, reaching the bottom of his mohawk, and the rubbing motion of her arm caused her to sway back and forth ever so slightly, nearly bumping into his chest. He slammed his eyes shut, to try to keep the temptation at bay. He shifted uncomfortably, and held his hands in his lap. No, this was nothing like Arlo.

“OK, are you ready?” she asked, hesitantly. He finally opened his eyes, noticing the look of self-doubt on her face. 

“Ready. You saw how I did it, just make sure that you hold it like this” he assured her, placing his hand over hers to demonstrate. How tiny her hands were, he thought. Tiny, and yet so strong. “You got this” he said encouragingly, and smiled at her. 

Aloy let out a nervous breath and leaned towards his temple. She had moved so that she stood beside him, at least. Thank the forge, because he didn’t think that he could handle another minute of her being that close to him. He could feel the hesitation in the first few strokes of the blade, but they soon grew more confident. She was obviously being extremely careful with the razor, he noticed gratefully, although he wasn’t exactly sure why SHE was so nervous.

As she worked, Erend told her about the grooming habits of Oseram men. Oseram women, he explained, couldn’t care less about their hair. But for men, their hair and beards were of particular importance, a source of pride. Normally, he and the other vanguardsmen had their hair cut by an Oseram barber in Meridian, Arlo. But, given all that had happened, there just hadn’t been time to visit him. 

He felt like he was babbling, as he felt her gently flick the blade against the edge of his mohawk. She carefully worked her way down the side of it, pressing the blade against the longer hair and pulling towards herself. Perfect, Erend thought. Exactly how Arlo does it. She finally reached his neck, and he could feel her breath on his skin as she leaned in closer. She was so focused, working so carefully, that he didn’t dare move. But by the forge, he thought he would actually have to sit on his hands to prevent himself from reaching for her. He tried, in vain, to think about anything other than her lips being only inches from his skin. Anything other than the sound of her breath in his ear. Anything other than the warm puff of air he felt each time she exhaled. 

She finished working on his neck, and moved to his other temple to begin rubbing shaving oil on that side of his head. Torture, he decided. This is delicious torture. 

“Don’t be nervous” she said reassuringly, mistaking his ragged breathing. “I’m almost finished, and the worst part is over.” 

To Erend, it took much too long, and yet it was over all too soon. She stood over him, proudly puffing out her chest, after having wiped his scalp clean. Erend was almost afraid to look at her, for fear that she would guess at the thoughts that had been running through his head. 

“Thanks!” he said, a little overenthusiastically. “OK, well, let’s get back in the lake and wash off the last of this grime.”

He waited for her to turn and head back towards the water before he stood and reached for the soap, his thin pants leaving little to the imagination. He made his way quickly into the water behind her, and plunked down at the earliest opportunity. Once again, the cold water of the lake rescued him.

They stayed in the shallower water this time around, passing the soap back and forth. They grabbed handfuls of leaves, to help them scrub. Finally, once their skin a glowing pink from head to toe, they began washing their hair. Erend watched as Aloy once again ducked below the surface, and came back up with her face to the sun. Water cascaded down her hair, reflecting the different shades of red in it. She reached for the bar of soap, which he silently handed to her. He watched, enraptured, as she rubbed the soap through her hair. She ran her fingers through it, combing out the tangles, and he found that his fingers itched to do the same. She handed the soap back to him, and he busied himself with washing his mohawk. Despite the shaving oil in it, the distraction of his own hair didn’t last anywhere near long enough. He tried, he really tried, not to stare at her as she rinsed the soap out of her hair, and dunked down one last time for a final rinse. Finally clean, she looked at him and nodded, and began walking towards the shore. He sighed and followed behind her, hoping that he wouldn’t have any more…surprises… today.

They lounged by the gazebo, drying in the sun. Aloy let out a contented sigh as the sun warmed her face, and Erend congratulated himself again on planning the perfect day. Once they were dry enough, they put on the clean tunics that Erend had stashed in his pack. Erend tried again to stifle a laugh when he heard Aloy stumbling about in the bushes, this time trying to put on the armour that had been so difficult to remove. 

When Aloy emerged, finally dressed, Erend gave her a little cheer and she bowed. Her hair, a curtain of red silk, fell in front of her face when she bent forward. She hadn’t bothered to put it back into braids, Erend noticed. He’d never seen her hair loose before, and seeing it in such a wild state left strange feelings in the bottom of his stomach. Shaking it off, he hoisted his pack. They began to make their way slowly back to Meridian.  
__________ 

Back in Meridian, they make their way to Erend’s apartment. The hustle and bustle of the city was quieter, no doubt, but they also found that it washed over them in a way it hadn’t before. A day of renewal indeed.

As they rounded the final corner, Erend spotted two people standing beside his door. As they approached, he recognized two palace assistants, with several boxes and bundles at their feet. When the ladies spotted them, they scooped up their packages and smiled sweetly. They waited until Erend was within earshot to explain.

“Sun King Avad hopes that you have enjoyed your day of rest. He sent us to deliver these packages and to assist Aloy with preparations for tonight’s feast.”

Erend, only slightly surprised, opened the door and invited them inside. One of the ladies handed him a box, wrapped with a wide silk ribbon. “For you” she said deferentially. She then hurried upstairs to join Aloy and the other young lady, another bundle clasped under her arm.

Erend set the box on a nearby table and tugged at the ribbon. He lifted the lid to reveal a tunic, nestled on fine cloth. Erend fingered the delicate silk, and it occurred to him that this must be silk from Avad’s personal tailor. The craftsmanship was superb, certainly no other tailor in Meridian could match it. It was a pale white, with a design embroidered around the neck in a dark blue thread, the colour of the sky at night. Erend noticed a note tucked into the corner of the box.

With eternal gratitude, to a loyal and steadfast friend  
-Avad

He pulled the tunic out of the box and held it up. It felt weightless and soft, very unlike the tunics that he was used to wearing. Surely, he had never worn anything finer. He cast his eyes about, making sure that the two young ladies from the palace were tucked away upstairs with Aloy. He took off his breastplate and tunic, and slid the silk over his freshly shaven head. It fit him perfectly. How could that be, he wondered. Avad’s tailor had never made anything for him before. It was the sight of his usual tunic laying on top of his breastplate that made him realize - Avad’s tailor had no doubt spoken to Krol, the tailor who made all of the vanguard uniforms, and who had only recently measured Erend for his Captain’s uniform. Avad went to a lot of effort for this, Erend realized. Well, not necessarily Avad, he chuckled knowingly. But it would have been Avad’s idea, and that was what mattered.

He wondered briefly if he should interrupt the ladies upstairs, to get a pair of nice pants and a new pair of leather boots from his closet. But he ultimately decided against it, figuring that he would only need a minute to change once Aloy was ready.  
_____

Aloy, meanwhile, was at the centre of a whirlwind. Her skin had been rubbed with perfumed oils, her hair combed until it shone. One of the ladies was now twisting her hair into an elaborate braided style while the other was painting around her eyes with pigment and applying some sort of stain to her lips. Aloy wasn’t sure about any of it, but the two ladies seemed so enthusiastic that she let herself get swept up in their excitement.

Finally, one of the ladies opened one of the packages they’d brought and withdrew a small pair of delicate leather sandals. The leather was soft, and had been rubbed with machine oil to blacken it. She slid them onto Aloy’s feet and helped her to stand. It felt like walking on a cloud, or as close to the feeling of a cloud as Aloy could imagine. She was quickly pulled back to earth, however, by the feeling of the ladies tugging on her tunic. They were a bit startled when she yanked herself away from them, but they quickly recovered. Aloy looked over to the second box that had been opened, and gasped. Inside lay a long dress of the most beautiful silk she’d ever seen. It was a deep blue, the colour of the midnight. The top of the dress was delicate, she saw as she pulled it from the box. The back of it was made up of small strips of silk that would crisscross her back. The ladies smiled at her, a knowing look in their eyes. One of them, again, reached for her tunic hem, and this time she allowed them to carefully lift it over her head. They helped her into the dress, careful not to disturb her hair or face paint.

The final box revealed a delicate necklace, made of pieces of shaped and polished glass. It glittered in the light as they clasped it around her neck. It complimented the dress perfectly, adding a star-like twinkle to the night sky coloured silk.

Finally satisfied, the two palace ladies turned and left Aloy alone. She went to follow them, but hesitated. She felt kind of silly, if she was honest with herself. She felt odd, the “outcast”, the “savage”, to be dressed in such finery. It was as if she wasn’t being herself. She was beginning to think that she should just change back into a regular tunic when she heard Erend calling her name from downstairs.

Erend had begun to wonder what was keeping Aloy. The palace ladies had left a few minutes earlier, and he couldn’t hear any movement coming from his room. “Aloy?” he called after her “is everything alri….”

His voice trailed off as she appeared at the top of the stairs. His mouth was agape as he stared at her. He didn’t dare breathe or move, for fear of breaking the spell of that moment. 

Erend had learned, many years ago, that the key to enduring pain was to distract one’s self, to focus on something else. He had tried to use this technique when he was receiving his marks of adulthood. He had tried, often, to do this when he was being stitched up by his fellow soldiers on the battlefield, the healers too busy with the more gravely wounded to offer anything for pain. He remembered one soldier, his captain at the time, who gave him a stick to bite down on and told him to “think of something happy”. But until now, until this moment, he hadn’t ever been able to think of anything happy enough. He had no memories from which to find comfort. But this image of her on the stairs, this image he burned into his brain. It would be this memory that he would draw upon the next time he needed to reach for happiness. 

He also realized in that moment that he was well and truly screwed, because there wasn’t anything that he would not do for this incredible woman. 

Aloy, misreading his expression, gave her head a little shake and started to turn around. “No. It’s too much” she said. “I’ll go change back into my tunic and leggings.”

“NO!” Erend called after her, a little more forcefully than he had intended. “No, Aloy. You don’t need to do that.”

“Come on, Erend, I look ridiculous!”

She truly had no idea, did she? “Aloy” Erend said quietly, almost reverently. “You are more beautiful than any one or any thing I have ever seen.”

It wasn’t until he saw her blushing that he realized that he’d said the words aloud. He gave her a small smile, almost apologetic. 

“Give me a minute to change my pants and boots, and we’ll head down to the feast.” He hoped that she didn’t notice him waiver, ever so slightly, as he passed her on the stairs. He wanted desperately to touch her, to take her hand, but he resisted.

He hurried to his room, his chest filled with – what was that? Not panic, exactly. But his pulse was racing. He closed the door firmly behind him and went to sit on the bed. He cradled his head in his hands, trying to calm himself. He looked over towards the closet, and noticed Aloy’s discarded tunic on the floor. Not helping, he thought, as he shook the mental image of her topless in his room from his mind. He sighed, beginning to regain his composure, and went over to the closet. He grabbed his nicest pair of pants and his newest pair of boots, and quickly changed. He took a deep breath to steel his nerves, and left his room.

“OK, ready to go to the feast?” he said on his way down the stairs, the forced casualness scratching at his throat. 

They walked slowly, side by side, towards the town square. Erend couldn’t help but notice the looks from the crowd around them, particularly those who looked at her a little more appreciatively than was usual. Jealousy burned through his chest, and his fought the urge to pull her towards him. He knew that she was more than capable of taking care of herself, better even than he. And he certainly had no claim over her, he knew that much. And yet, the sight of others leering at her set his blood boiling. He tried to shake it off, and tried to distract himself. He was incredibly grateful when Aloy leaned over to him and touched the back of his arm. Shivers. Focus, Erend, she’s talking to you.

“I never said it, back at the apartment, but I wanted you to know how handsome you look tonight.” She avoided eye contact with him while she said this. Was that – shyness? Why should she of all people, savior of the world, be shy? 

Wait, had she just called him…handsome? He ran his hand over his mohawk, searching for the right words. They were frustratingly difficult to grasp.

“Uh, thanks. The tunic was a gift from Avad. I noticed that the thread here” he said, as he fingered the neckline “matches your dress.”

“So it does!” she said, leaning towards him for a closer look.

So close. She was so close. The scent of her perfumed oils filled his nose, sending his head spinning. How wrong he had been, down by the lake, to think that she wouldn’t overwhelm him anymore today. He smiled down at her, and she returned an easy smile. They fell back into silence as they continued walking. At least now, Erend wasn’t as distracted by onlookers. Let them stare, he thought. 

____

It wasn’t long before they arrived at the square, already filled with people. They could hear laughter over the din, people hugging and patting each other on the back. The battle was over, and now it was time to come together again as a community.

Erend spotted Avad near the front of the crowd, waiving them over. He put his hand on the small of Aloy’s back, intending to steer her through the crowd, but immediately withdrew it when her felt her bare skin under his hand. They made their way towards the head table, Erend greeting the vanguardsmen watching over the Sun King that evening. He chatted with them briefly before joining Aloy at the Sun King’s table. 

With the last of the guests seated, Avad stood and the crowd immediately quieted. 

“People of Meridian” he started. “Thank you for joining with us tonight. We are gathered here, both in celebration and in mourning. Firstly, let us take a moment of silence, to honour the fallen.”  
Everyone bowed their heads silently, each thinking of a loved one or acquaintance who was not with them on this night. Erend cast his thoughts to the four vanguardsmen who had died, who had followed him into battle and had not returned. A wave of guilt washed over him. This would be the difficult part of leading, he thought to himself. Finally, Avad raised his head and continued solemnly “May those who are not with us here tonight, never be forgotten.” Avad paused briefly, before pressing on. “But there would be many more who would have fallen, had it not been for the efforts of the people gathered here tonight. I want to take this occasion to thank you for your hard work on behalf of Meridian. Our people, young and old alike, have come together in this hour of need. Thank you all. To the vanguard, and in particular to their their Captain, Erend. You have honoured us with your courage in the face of overwhelming odds. Thank you.” Erend smiled and nodded sheepishly, embarrassed at having so much attention placed upon him. “And finally, to Aloy. We owe her a debt of gratitude that can never be repaid. It was through her efforts that we learned of the plan to attack Meridian. It was thanks to her that we had time to prepare, to call on our allies for assistance. And it is only because of her that the menace at The Spire was overcome. None of this would have been possible without you, Aloy. You saved us from utter destruction, and we all owe you our lives. A thank you feels empty, but it’s all we have to give.” Avad looked at her with an intense look in his eyes. “Thank you” he said emphatically. With that, a cheer rose up from the crowd, most gathered having not realized how close they had come to losing everything. The cheering continued, until a grinning Avad shouted over the crowd. “And now, we feast!”

Palace staff had obviously not had a day of rest and renewal, if the food being brought out was any indication. There were bowlfuls of berries, trays overflowing with beautiful fruits. There were roasted root vegetables and roasted meats that had been rubbed with fragrant herb mixtures. There were cheeses and breads of every variety. No, Avad had spared nothing in ensuring a proper celebration of their victory. 

The ales and meads flowed freely, but Aloy did not choose to partake. Erend, although laughing and joking with his fellow vanguardsmen, had only two pints with his meal. Aloy thought that this might be a bit uncharacteristic of him, but if it was none of the vanguard mentioned it. He must be taking Ersa’s words to heart, she thought to herself. She was glad, as she had been quite concerned over the state of him when she had first arrived in Meridian.

Erend told her, over platefuls of roasted boar and turkey, about how the Oseram smoke all of their meats and fishes before cooking them, and how much he missed that special flavor – the taste of home. A few of the other vanguard overheard him, and enthusiastically agreed. They then began boisterously telling stories about their favourite Oseram foods – or their favourite Oseram cooks. Aloy blushed at some of their stories, of conquests past. Erend, for his part, didn’t hear any of it. Instead, he watched her smile, as if the rest of the world didn’t exist. It had all just melted away, a fog that cleared only around her. He had limited himself to a couple of ales with his meal, for fear that any more would loosen his tongue. It had, nevertheless, caused him to drop a few of the mental walls that he had built, and allowed himself to gaze dreamily at Aloy as she laughed at the vanguard’s stories. 

Sitting nearby, Roan noticed their Captain’s wistful expression. “Aloy” he said “I must say, you look absolutely radiant tonight. Wouldn’t you say, Captain?” Roan shot Erend a knowing look as the rest of the vanguard tried desperately to cover their snickering. Ando snorted loudly, but covered it up by pretending he was coughing. 

As people began to finish their meals, musicians began playing lively music. Avad rose and walked behind Erend’s chair. He tapped him on the shoulder and flicked his head, to indicate that Erend should follow. Erend nodded, and the two men walked together to a nearby garden. 

“Erend, I won’t keep you from the festivities. I just wanted to thank you, again, for all that you’ve done these past days. I owe you a tremendous debt, my friend.” Erend just nodded, not quite sure what to say. “I hope that I didn’t embarrass you too much out there, putting the spotlight on you like that” Avad continued, chuckling “but I felt that it was important for the people of the city to know the role that you played in ensuring their wellbeing. I know how many of them you personally rescued, and I know that they all share my gratitude.” Again, Erend just nodded.

“That’s twice now, Erend, that I’ve caught you at a loss for words!” Avad remarked with surprise. “Could it be that your mind is….elsewhere? With a beautiful redhead, perhaps?”

Erend’s head snapped up at Avad’s remark. Was he really that obvious? Erend worried, knowing that Avad had feelings for Aloy too. Was he angry? Avad could see the look of panic on Erend’s face.

“Don’t worry. I’ve only noticed because I know you so well. Erend, if you haven’t said anything to her about how you feel, out of some sort of misplaced sense of obligation towards my feelings, please stop. Yes, Aloy is beautiful. But my heart has only ever belonged to….one woman.” With that, Avad’s eyes cast downwards, as did Erend’s, both remembering their beloved Ersa. “Besides, even if I did have strong feelings for Aloy, I know that you are a far better fit for her than I.” A better fit than the Sun King? Erend had trouble believing his ears. “No, seriously Erend, think about it. She would chafe against a quiet palace life, trapped listening to the mind-numbing complaints of nobles all day. You’ve heard them, you know what they’re like. She is a free spirit, Erend, and you are her perfect match. You are both strong, fearless warriors. Born leaders. You’re adventurous, like her, and you both have a certain ‘tell it like it is’ quality about you. You’re both kind and compassionate. You’re giving, empathetic. And you…” Avad hesitated “like her, you understand what it feels like to be alone in the world” he finished quietly. 

Erend tried to take in what he had heard. Avad, the man that Erend now realized had felt threatening to him before, was trying to convince him to tell Aloy how he felt! Hope bloomed in his chest, and a grin crept its way onto his face. Aloy and Erend. Erend and Aloy. Yah, he liked the sound of that! He nodded to Avad, showing that he’d heard the message being given. 

Avad and Erend returned to the party, which was now in full swing. People were dancing, laughing and clapping along with the music. Erend sat back down across from Aloy, and watched her quietly. She was obviously enjoying the music, smiling brightly and clapping to the rhythm. Erend seized his chance.

“Heh, do you want to dance?” He hoped that he sounded casual enough, although his heart threatened to beat through his ribs. Her eyes lit up, and she nodded enthusiastically. Erend beamed and took her by the hand. He led her to the dancefloor, where he wrapped his arm around her. It was funny, she always seemed to be larger than life. It wasn’t until he was so close to her that he was reminded how small her body actually was. So much power and skill in such a little package made her all the more impressive, in his eyes. 

Erend swung her around, his arm wrapped firmly around her. She let out a loud whoop, and threw her head back with a full belly laugh. Erend loved that he could make her feel so much joy.  
They danced song after song, one bleeding into the other. A breathless Aloy finally pleaded for mercy, and asked if they could take a little walk to cool off. Erend let go of her, somewhat reluctantly, and turned to follow her. Already, he could feel the cold air creeping in to the space that she had occupied. 

They slipped away, and walked slowly, shoulder to shoulder, through the quiet streets. Neither of them said anything, they just wandered. It was a beautiful night, and Erend noticed that the bright moonlight made her hair shimmer. They eventually found themselves back on the balcony near the palace, where they had said what he had thought was their final goodbye. “I’ll always have a minute for you. Maybe even two” she had said. He had taken much more than two minutes, but she didn’t seem to mind. They stood there looking up at the full moon, their fingers nearly touching as they leaned on the railing. Now’s your chance, Erend told himself, screwing up his courage. Just tell her how you feel! The words would begin to form in his mouth, but he couldn’t make them come out. It took several tries, starts and stops, before he was finally ready. He was taking a deep breath, about to launch into his confession, when Aloy turned to him. 

“Erend” she said softly, gazing up at him. “I just wanted to thank you for being such an incredible friend.”

Friend? No! Nononononononono. Erend felt himself deflate completely, but tried his best to hide it.  
“I’ve never had a friend before you, and I’m lucky to have you in my life. Everyone else seems to want something from me, you know? Anointed One. Saviour of the City. Whatever. You’re the only person who seems to genuinely see me for who I am. I get the sense that you’re my friend in spite of all of these things, not because of them.”

Erend forced a smile onto his lips before responding. “Thank you Aloy. That means a lot, especially coming from you.”

She smiled up at him, and turned back to look out over the forest below. Erend turned as well, and slumped against the rail. What were you thinking you idiot, he screamed in his head, berating himself. Of course she sees you as just a friend. She doesn’t feel about you the way you feel about her, she’s always been clear on that. Arg! IDIOT! You could have ruined everything!

The angry self-directed tirade continued on in his head, completely unnoticed by Aloy. She did sense the shift in his mood, and thinking that he was tired or cold, pushed off from the railing and began making her way back to his apartment. He hung his head and gave it a final shake before catching up with her. 

They made their way slowly back to Erend’s. His self-admonishments had slowed, at least, although they hadn’t disappeared. They were instead replaced with a deep sense of loss. He felt like he would drown in his sadness, dragged down by the weight of it. His spirits fell with each step, crushed beneath the treads of his heavy leather boots.

When they finally reached his front door, Erend did his best to mask his disappointment. He willed a smile onto his face, although it didn’t make its way to his eyes. He noticed that Aloy’s brow crinkled ever so slightly when she looked at him in the lamplight of the sitting room, but thankfully she didn’t say anything. Instead, she walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, laying her head against his thick chest. He pulled her into a tight embrace and laid his cheek on the top of her head, wishing his heart would stop pounding.

When they pulled apart, she stood on her toes and gently kissed his cheek. “Thank you, Erend, for giving me one of the best days of my entire life. Today was perfect. It was exactly what I needed.”  
He swallowed the lump in his throat. “You’re welcome, Aloy” he replied, the final pieces of his heart shattering.

Erend was thankful that she turned and headed upstairs right away, because he could no longer force a false smile to his lips. He made his way to bed, but sleep did not come easily. She was laying in his bed, just across the hall, he knew. She was so close, and yet so very far away. He allowed the waves of sadness to wash over him for a while, but he eventually decided that he could no longer indulge in such feelings. He once again directed his anger towards himself. He was being silly, getting all worked up like this, he told himself. She is your friend. You are lucky to have her as a friend, and it’s better to have her in your life as a friend than not at all. With that realization came a bit of peace. Yes, he finally decided. Be content with the fact that you have her in your life at all. You’ll get over these feelings for her eventually. 

Erend slept fitfully, and was up before dawn. He left immediately for work, feeling like too much of a coward to face Aloy. Besides, he told himself, he had so much neglected work to catch up on, he needed to go in right away. 

He had been working for a while when a bleary eyed Avad finally emerged from the palace. The table around Erend was covered in scrolls, and Erend had his head down, scribbling furiously.

“Erend?” Avad asked, somewhat confused. “What are you doing here so early? I thought for sure that I wouldn’t see you until later.” 

“Oh… uh… well…” Erend found himself staring at the scroll in front of him with a strange intensity. He couldn’t really meet Avad’s eyes either, it turned out. If Avad could see his cheeks burning with shame, he had the sense not to mention it. 

“OK, well, anyway. I expect that you’re planning patrol routes and security schedules during the reconstruction efforts?” Erend nodded. “Wonderful” Avad added “please continue.”

With that, Erend bent to resume his work. This was a welcomed distraction, and he was glad to have something to focus on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 Soundtrack:  
> Hope & Ruin - The Trews  
> 


	3. Absence

Erend was still hard at work when the sun had begun to sink towards the horizon. The familiar thump of a soldier’s staff announced someone’s arrival. Erend looked up, and saw Aloy walking towards him. Well, he thought, I’m going to have to face her eventually.

“Erend, there you are!” she called out as she approached his work table. “You were gone already when I woke up this morning. I thought you might have come here. I guess you’ve got a lot of catching up to do on your regular work. You can’t be saving widows and orphans every day!” she added jokingly.

“No, not every day.” Ok, this is ok, you can do this Erend. “Every other day, sure, but there’s a lot of paperwork that goes along with that.” he added dryly. Aloy laughed at his joke, and his spirits lifted a little. Yah, he could do this. 

“Listen, Erend, I don’t mean to keep you from your work. I know that you have a lot to think about, what with the city in ruins and the vanguard…” she trailed off “shorthanded.” She watched Erend’s eyes drop at the thought of the dead vanguardsmen. She knew that he felt guilty, like he was somehow responsible for their deaths. Their blood was on Helis’s hands, she’d told him. He’d known that, but she could still see the guilt written all over his features. 

“Anyway, the reason I’m here. My focus has been reconstructing several data files that I scanned when I was in GAIA Prime.” Erend looked a bit confused at this. He hadn’t heard anything about data files or a place called GAIA Prime. Aloy just plowed on, not reading the uncertainty in his expression. “Well, this morning, it notified me that several of the files were ready. I read through them, Erend, and there are some really good clues in there. I think that I know where Elizabet Sobeck was going, so I’m going to go find her.”

With this, Erend’s confusion could no longer be contained. “Wait, what? Aloy, what are you talking about?”

“Elizabet Sobeck, Erend. I think I’ve found her.” He just shook his head, so she sighed and began again. “Elizabet is the woman who was responsible for my creation. I was created in her image, actually. When the world of the Old Ones was ending, she sacrificed herself to save what she had made, and in so doing saved our world too. She’s the closest thing that I’ve ever had to a mother, Erend, and I have to know what happened to her.” 

Ah, now Erend had begun to understand. She’d never told him what she had discovered as her adventures took her back and forth across the world, but he had always known that what she was doing was important. 

“This is the last question that I need to have answered, Erend. One last mission before I can fully let go and move on from this part of my life.” Erend gave her an understanding nod. He knew what it was like to have unfinished business. 

“I spent the better part of the day piecing together the clues and pouring over maps. I’ve narrowed down her most likely location to a small area. Or rather, I know that she was on her way to someplace within this small area. I don’t know if she made it there. But I know where she started, and I have a good idea of where she was headed. I can find her, Erend, I know I can.”

Erend didn’t have to ask, he knew what this meant. She was leaving again.

“How long do you think you’ll be gone?” he asked.

“I’m not sure. Searching the area could take some time. I’ll be gone several weeks, at least.”  
Erend nodded. A part of him wanted to go with her, but he knew that she didn’t need him. And honestly, some time apart would help his heart to heal a little. He looked up at her, trying once again to burn her features into his memory.

“You’re leaving right away?” he asked, finally noticing the pack she’d left by the door.

“Yah, I can get a few hours of travel in before dark.”

“I hope that you find what you’re looking for.”

Aloy rushed around the edge of his desk and wrapped her arms around him. She squeezed him tightly, or as tightly as his heavy armour would allow. He wrapped his own arms gently around her and breathed deeply. Goodbyes always felt so… final with her. He hoped that this was not the case.  
“I’ll see you when I get back” she said as she pulled away. And like a gust of wind, she was gone. 

_____________

Erend threw himself into his work during her absence. While he knew that she was strong and capable, much more capable than he was, there was a constant pang of worry in his stomach that left a sour taste in his mouth. He was always restless, a feeling that he knew would not pass until she was back safely in Meridian. 

The vanguard, usually so quick to tease him, kept their thoughts to themselves. They really liked their Captain – he was strong, courageous, and fair. He was a good leader, and brought out the best in all of them, so they didn’t want to make it harder for him than they knew it already was. It didn’t help that they were spread thin, patrolling a ruined city.

Erend noticed, as two weeks turned in to three, which quickly became four, that he had been right. His heart was mending. Her absence reminded him how much he wanted her to be nearby, how much he would miss her sarcasm or her bright, dancing eyes. He often caught himself beginning to tell her something, before remembering that she wasn’t there. She had come and gone often, so he wasn’t sure why that was. But in the short time she had shared his apartment, she had become an integral part of his life. 

This is not to say that it was always easy. The first night after she left, Erend finally slept in his own bed again. He noticed immediately that it still smelled like her, like a meadow warmed by the sun. The dress that she had worn – it felt like forever since he’d seen her at the top of the stairs – had been tucked away in a drawer, next to his tunics. He could smell the scent of the perfumed oils that she had worn, and he would catch himself running his fingers over the silk of the dress.

That she had put her dress in the same drawer as his tunics was not without its downsides. One morning, not long after she’d gone, one of his vanguardsmen sniffed him as he walked past. 

“Captain” he’d said, louder than was necessary “do you smell like…. flowers?”. The vanguard had roared in delight at that one, and no amount of yelling at them could get them to stop. The story quickly made the rounds, and they found endless ways to get him going. Bouquets of flowers were left for him on his doorstep when he arrived home each night. The men of the vanguard took to wearing flowers tucked in between the metal pieces of their armour, while the vanguard women presented him with crowns and necklaces of woven flowers. One morning, when Erend arrived for roll call, each of the vanguard assembled had a delicate flower tucked over their ear. They paid for it dearly, when Erend made them run under the blazing the sun in their heavy armour, but they didn’t seem to be dissuaded. It was as if they knew that he needed cheering up, and they were happy to do it.

His vanguard were helping, not that Erend would ever admit that to their faces. His restlessness was always there, just below the surface, but their ridiculous distractions gave him someplace to direct his energies. 

All the while, the rebuilding of Meridian continued around them. Their city was coming back from the ashes, and hope bloomed. Erend spent every day working with the vanguard, and every evening assisting with construction. The people were pleased to see their beloved vanguard Captain working so hard to help them, whether it was hoisting heavy stone blocks for a wall or hauling timber for roofing beams, he always seemed to be there. What they didn’t know, couldn’t know, was that he didn’t dare stop. Whenever he did, the loneliness threatened to choke him. He missed Aloy, and he couldn’t allow himself to think too much about it. 

_____

Almost six weeks after her departure, Aloy could finally see Meridian in the distance. It had been a long journey, and she had had to backtrack several times when retracing Elizabet’s steps. She pushed her strider a little harder, urging it forward. It kicked up dust as it ran, leaving a trail in its wake. 

It was the dust trail that first attracted the attention of the vanguard posted on overwatch. She could see it, off in the distance, but couldn’t figure out what it was. When she finally realized, she grinned from ear to ear, and yelled at someone to go get the Captain. 

Erend came rushing up to the overwatch post in a panic, wondering what his vanguard had seen.  
“Look” she said, pointing into the distance. Erend looked over, squinting, and when he saw what she was pointing at he let out a loud whoop and pumped his fist in the air. The other vanguard within earshot cheered, knowing that only one thing would make their Captain react that way. Aloy was back! 

Aloy leapt off the back of the strider as she neared the city, the eyes of the gathered merchants staring. Who was this fiery haired woman who controlled machines? She paid them no mind as she made her way to the elevator and paced impatiently in the cage as it slowly made its way to the top.  
Erend, too, was a bundle of impatient nerves as he watched the elevator’s gears working. He didn’t know what to do with his hands, and he had to concentrate on holding his legs still. When the elevator finally clanged to a stop, he couldn’t hold back any more. The door opened, and Aloy saw him walking quickly up the walkway. Her face lit up, bright like the sun, and she hurried towards him. She threw her arms around his neck, while he scooped her up a hugged her tightly, giving her a little spin. Joy radiated from both of them, finally reunited.

“Ahh, it’s so good to be home!” Aloy exclaimed.

Erend stopped suddenly, and looked down at her beaming face. “Home? Meridian is… home for you now?” he asked, hoping that he’d heard correctly. Does this mean that she’d stay? 

“No, not Meridian. Well, kinda Meridian.” 

“What? I don’t…” 

“I just meant… I actually meant you.” she said sheepishly.

Her words halted him in his tracks. HE was home, to her? Being with him made her feel like she was home? A happy growl erupted from his chest, and he scooped her up again into a hug. It wasn’t until she began tapping on his arms that he realized how tightly he’d squeezed her.

“Oh, sorry. I’m just happy that your back.” he said, trying to cover the embarrassment of his enthusiastic response. “You hungry? Rabbit stew? I’m buying.” She smiled at him and nodded, and they walked together towards the nearest tavern.

“So, did you find what you were looking for?” he asked, hoping that her trip hadn’t been a waste.

“Yah, actually, I did” she said, pulling the talisman from a pouch on her belt. She handed it to him, and he held it up to the sun and admired it. It was a little blue ball of some sort, nothing like what he’d ever seen before. He carefully passed it back to her and smiled.

“She made it home, you know.” Aloy continued softly. “Somehow, she made it.” 

“I’m glad.” Erend replied. And he was. He knew how important this woman was to Aloy, and if she was important to Aloy, she was important to him.

They shared stories of the past six weeks over their bowls of rabbit stew. Aloy told him about how she encountered a few groups of bandits and a particularly nasty thunderjaw, which froze the blood in his veins. Erend told her about the flowery pranks that the vanguard had pulled. She delighted in these stories, nearly falling backwards off the bench as she laughed. Tears rolled down Aloy’s cheeks as she gasped for breath, Erend recounting his embarrassment at having Avad catch him with a work table overflowing with bunches of wildflowers. By the end of the meal, their cheeks were sore from smiling and their bellies sore from laughing. 

Erend found that spending this time with her, hearing her laugh and watching her smile, was not as hard as he had thought it might be. His heart had healed, somewhat, in her absence. It had developed scar tissue, at least, enough that it didn’t pain him to see her. Friendship would be something that he could do, he told himself. The rest would pass, in time.

Finally, their meal finished, it was time for Erend to go back to work. They left the tavern, but at the door Aloy hesitated. 

“You haven’t thought about where you’re going to stay tonight, have you?” Erend asked her.

“Uh, no, not really. I was just focused on getting here. Don’t worry, I’ll find something. I’m good at taking care of myself.”

“Oh, I know that.” Erend replied “but Olin’s place is still being used as a shelter for displaced families. The rebuilding is coming along well, but not all of the homes are finished yet. It seems silly to spend shards on a room at the inn when I have an empty room in my apartment. Why don’t you just stay with me again?”

“Are you sure, Erend? I feel like I’m being an imposition.”

“No, not at all. I will actually be hurt if you don’t stay with me. Consider it settled, at least until you figure out your next move.”

With that, she nodded in agreement. He hadn’t given her much choice, really, but her options were few. 

Erend smiled at her, and passed her the key to the door. She turned to head towards his place, and after watching her turn the corner, he turned the other way and went back to his responsibilities with the vanguard.

_________

Over the next couple of weeks, Erend and Aloy fell into a comfortable routine. He would head back to his apartment as soon as Avad had dismissed him for the day, much to the disappointment of the citizens of Meridian who had taken for granted all of the help he had given. Aloy would meet him there, having spent the day hunting or killing machines that had wandered too close to the city. They would spend the evenings together, laughing and joking. Erend found that he had slid back into where he and Aloy had been, before the battle. He teased her, flirted, and smiled at her burning sarcastic comebacks. He was back to being at ease around her, or as comfortable as he’d ever been – she had always had a way of making him feel a little bit off-kilter. 

Sometimes, they would head out of the city and look at the stars, or sit beside a fire. A few times, Erend brought Aloy to the tavern for a night of revelry with the vanguard, but she never seemed comfortable there. She never drank, but that wasn’t it. He finally asked her about it.

“It’s not that I don’t like them. I like them a lot, actually. It’s just that…. I’m not really great at making friends. I’ve spent so much of my life alone, and Rost was always a very quiet man. I don’t know how to talk to people, or make small talk. I feel so awkward all the time. It doesn’t help that sometimes, some of them will look at me like, well like I’m someone special. You know what I mean? They look at me with that amazed look in their eyes, like they can’t believe that they’re sitting beside me. You know how much that kind of thing bothers me. And I know that they’re not doing it in a mean way, or anything like that, but it just makes it that much harder to relate to someone, when you feel like they’ve put you on a pedestal.” 

Erend could see her point. All of the members of the vanguard held her in high regard, there was no question. But some of them, particularly those who had only heard about the amazing things that she’d accomplished, got a little star struck around her. He’d be uncomfortable too, in her place. 

The issue was quickly resolved, however, when Avad called him to the throne room one day.

“Erend, I believe that the time has come. The reconstruction of Meridian is to a point where the holes in the security walls have been mended, and patrols have returned to their normal routes. It’s time to find replacements for the vanguard who fell in battle.” Avad had said it gently, with compassion, but a wave of guilt washed over Erend still. He didn’t know if it would ever end. He wasn’t sure he wanted it to.

Erend agreed that the time had come, and began to make preparations for the selection process and training for new recruits. He would go to The Claim, Avad had told him, to choose Oseram fighters for the positions. It’s not that a Carja, or someone from any other tribe, couldn’t have done the job – but the vanguard were all Oseram, and Avad thought it best to keep them as a cohesive group.

It would be nice to go back to The Claim, Erend thought as he was heading home that evening. He hadn’t returned since he’d gone to bury Ersa, and needless to say that trip had not been an enjoyable one. It’s not that The Claim was necessarily filled with happy memories for him, but he found it comforting to be among the familiar sights, sounds, and smells of his people. Among the Oseram, he didn’t need to be mindful of every word coming out of his mouth, lest he offend. He could be as direct and blunt as he wanted, because the rest of the Oseram were the same. That was one of the things he liked about his culture – you always knew where you stood with people. The Oseram also didn’t look at him like a mindless brute, the way some of the Carja did. He’d see them, warily eyeing up his massive war hammer, and shuffling away without trying to be obvious about it. Soon, he told himself, the brew would flow freely and the smell of the forge would fill his nose. The smell of home.

But what about Aloy? He would be gone for weeks, by the time he traveled to The Claim and completed the rigorous selection process that he had devised. It seemed like he was the only thing that was keeping her in Meridian – would she leave, if he was gone? It made him a bit nervous to think about, but there was little that he could do about it. He was going to The Claim, as Avad had ordered, and he would deal with whatever that meant.

When Erend walked in his front door, Aloy was already back from a day of hunting. She had killed several boar, she told him, and had sold the skins to the tannery and the meat to a butcher in the market. She had a handful of shards to show for her efforts, and she asked him if she could buy him a drink. He’d barely had the chance to nod in agreement before she was spinning him around and pushing him back out the way he’d come.

The tavern wasn’t far, and they were there in only a few minutes. They took their seats on the benches alongside one of the long wooden tables. A server showed up with a large glass of ale for him – oh, how they knew him – and a glass of fruit juice for Aloy. Erend suspected that the barkeep had brought in the juice just for Aloy. No one else would go to a tavern and not drink, after all. Erend was glad that the barkeep had found a way to make her feel welcome, and he raised his glass in the direction of the bar to show his appreciation. 

Their drinks in hand, Erend sighed and started to tell Aloy about his newest development. “Aloy, I have to go back to The Claim for a while. Avad is sending me to find new vanguard recruits, people who can fill the vacancies left when…… when, ah….. after the battle.” Aloy just nodded and they both looked at their drinks. 

After a few minutes of staring vacantly into her juice, Aloy piped up. “So, when are we leaving?”

Erend’s head shot up, his back straight as a board. “We? You’re coming with me?” he asked her incredulously.

“Well, unless I’m not welcome to join you. But yah, I think that it sounds like fun. Plus, I’ve never been to The Claim. Is it ok, if I come?”

Huh? She wanted to come with him?

“Yes, of course Aloy, you’re more than welcome to come with me. I just didn’t think that you’d want to. Honestly, it’s going to be fairly boring. Watching fighters and assessing them. Testing fighters and comparing them. A lot of standing around and looking at other people do things, really. It doesn’t exactly sound like something you’d enjoy.” Erend added, still puzzled.

“Nonsense. Besides, I could help you. I could override machines for them to fight. Or, I could fight against them. No doubt, most Oseram fight the same way – let’s see how they adapt when someone with a different style is thrown into the mix.”

She had a point, Erend thought. Having her there would be helpful. He would genuinely appreciate her insight on matters, a second opinion. He would have normally brought other senior members of the vanguard to help him, but he couldn’t afford to spare any. She was a much better warrior than any of them, he had to admit – so why wouldn’t he want to have the best person by his side while making selections? He could handle spending all day, every day, for the next several weeks, with her – couldn’t he?

“Yah, alright” he said hesitantly, watching her face light up. By the forge, what was he getting himself in to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 Soundtrack:  
> Ain't no sunshine - Bill Withers  
> Wish that you were here - Florence + the machine  
> Right here waiting - Richard Marx  
> It's a good life if you don't weaken - The Tragically Hip  
> Girl is on my mind - The Black Keys  
> Don't you (forget about me) - Simple Minds


	4. The Claim

It took a few days for them to finalize preparations for their journey. It was a long trek to The Claim, and they would be there for quite some time. Avad was very pleased when he learned that Aloy would be accompanying Erend. It’s not that he’d doubted Erend’s ability to make it there safely on his own, but he would be much happier with the company. It certainly hadn’t escaped Avad’s notice, the dark cloud that had hung over him while Aloy had been away. He gave Erend some extra shards, which would cover the expenses of a second person. “I trust that she will be invaluable to you during this selection process” was all he’d said when Erend tried to refuse.

The members of the vanguard were a little more enthusiastic when they learned of Aloy’s plan to accompany Erend. He heard more than his fair share of teasing over it, usually accompanied by hoots from the rest of them. It varied, sometimes implying that he needed Aloy as a personal guard, to protect him on his journey. Other times, there were kissy noises that followed him around. In retaliation, he’d make them spend extra time on training exercises, yelling at them until his throat scratched, but nothing seemed to make it stop. Oh, how it made him eager to hit the road! 

Finally, the morning of their departure arrived. Laden down with packs, weapons, and armour, Erend locked his front door and they made their way out of the city. Aloy was puzzled at the path he chose to take, not realizing that he was trying to dodge members of the vanguard who might see them leaving together. They could say whatever they wanted around him, but he couldn’t be sure that they would keep their mouths shut in front of Aloy. 

The vanguard were on to him, however, and a few of them managed to track him down. They tried to act non-chalant about stumbling across he and Aloy in the street, but Erend knew that they had sought them out. He designed their patrole routes, the idiots, and he knew darn well that they weren’t here by accident. He wasn’t mad, more worried that they’d embarrass him.

“Captain! Glad we caught you! We were hoping to see you off this morning. Good luck in your selection process, and have a safe journey.” 

What? That was it? Erend couldn’t quite believe it. Where was the teasing? The suggestive comments? He thanked them and Aloy turned to go. As soon as her back was turned, Senoa grabbed Roan and pretended to plant a big, sloppy kiss on his cheek. Ah, yah, there it was. He gave them a scowl and turned to follow Aloy, their attempts to cover their laughter not entirely successful.

__________

As Meridian faded into the distance, Aloy tried again to convince Erend that they should ride to The Claim. And once again, her words fell on deaf ears. 

“Aloy, there is no way that you’re getting me to ride on a machine. I kill them, I don’t play with them, and I certainly don’t trust them” Erend said with finality. He knew that riding would make the journey much shorter, but he didn’t care. Aloy grumbled at his stubbornness, but finally relented. This was his mission, after all, and it was ultimately up to him to decide how it would be executed. She resigned herself to making the long trek to The Claim on foot. 

They carried on in comfortable silence for a while. When they stopped to pull a few chunks of bread and cheese from their packs, Aloy took the opportunity to ask about The Claim. 

“I’ve never been there before, to The Claim. I’ve only been as far as Pitchcliff, as you know” she noticed a hitch in Erend’s step at the name, having lost his sister there so recently, but she pretended not to notice and pressed on “and from what I understand, the border of The Claim is just a ways beyond that. So, what’s it like?”

“Well” Erend started “it looks a lot like The Sacred Lands, in a lot of ways. It’s got thick forests and tall mountains. It's not as hot as Meridian, not even close. Clan settlements are always built around forges, and you can always tell that you’re getting close because the forest has been cleared in a wide circle around the village, for fuel for the forge. Our main city, if you can call it that, is called Mainspring.” He paused for a moment before continuing. “We’re not like the Nora, or the Carja, we’re not just one big group. We are all Oseram, sure, but within that are clans. The Claim is divided up between the clans, and while things don’t always go smoothly, we get along more often than not. But then again, we kind-of have to now - there aren’t as many Oseram as there once was, thanks to the Red Raids” he finished somberly.

Aloy cast her mind back, to the day she’d first met Erend. He’d explained the Red Raids to her then, and she remembered how surprised he’d been that she didn’t know what they were. That day felt like a lifetime ago. Ah, how naïve she’d been! She couldn’t help but laugh at herself. 

“Heh, do you remember the day we met? How completely clueless I was?” Aloy asked, hearing Erend chuckle as he walked beside her.

“How could I ever forget?” Erend replied. “It was the day my whole life changed” he added softly, under his breath. Oh, how it had changed. How SHE had changed it, this woman of endless courage. He thought back to the words he’d said on the balcony, when he thought that he was saying his final goodbye. He HAD thought that he was a big-shot, but she had put him in his place. Trying to imagine that mindset now, knowing what he knew about Aloy, was impossible. He’d never measure up to her, not even close. But he knew he’d spend his life trying - she was inspiring, that way.

They continued on in comfortable silence, their steps falling in unison. Aloy chewed on her bread as they walked, Erend having finished his some time before. They walked and walked, over rolling hills and across vast plains; sometimes breaking the silence to chat, but usually just content to enjoy the quiet. Eventually, the sun began to sink towards the horizon, and it was time to start scouting for a place to camp for the night.

It wasn’t long before they found the perfect spot, in a low spot next to some large boulders. The tall, thick grass also helped to shield them from view. The machines were less aggressive now, but there were still dangers to consider. Bandits were a constant threat, and neither of them completely trusted that they were safe from the machines.

Both Erend and Aloy had spent enough time in the wilds to set up a camp quickly and efficiently. As soon as their packs thumped to the ground, Erend pointed to his chest. “Fire” he said, claiming the task for himself. Aloy gave a quick nod and reached for her bow, knowing that she was responsible for finding supper and a source of water. A quick scan with her focus, and off she went. Erend watched her walking away, distracted momentarily by the swish of her hips. He shook his head and busied himself clearing debris from the campsite and gathering wood. He knew that she wouldn’t be gone long.

The fire had barely begun to crackle when Aloy returned. She had a large turkey tucked under her arm, already gutted and defeathered. She looked appreciatively at Erend’s work. 

“I have to say, this is so much easier with two people! It normally takes me an hour to hunt and set up camp.” Her voice filled with warmth.

An hour? Erend thought of all of the nights he’d spent sleeping on the ground next to his fellow freebooters or vanguardsmen. If only they could get it done in an hour. It could take up to ten minutes just to agree on who would do each task!

Aloy had immediately set to work cutting the turkey into pieces for cooking. While she did this, Erend took his large hunting knife and sharpened some ridgewood pieces into long skewers that would allow them to roast the meat over the fire. 

The sunset that evening was breathtaking. Erend and Aloy watched as the sky turned orange and then pink, eventually changing again into a soft purple. When the stars began to twinkle above them, they turned back to their roasting turkey, which was finally ready.

“I’ve always loved watching the sun set.” Erend said. “There’s something about it that puts me at peace. Same with the night sky” he added, looking up “all of those stars. They make me feel small, but I also feel like anything is possible. I don’t know. It doesn’t really make sense.”

“Yes it does.” Aloy looked at him intensely. “I’ve always felt the same way. There’s something limitless about them. Eternal. They have always been there, and they’ll always be there. I used to lay on the grass at night, looking up at the stars, and wonder if the people from the Metal World looked at those same stars. I’m sure they did. I found that to be very comforting.” 

Erend nodded, finding himself staring at his piece of turkey. He took a big bite, hoping that Aloy would take that as a sign. How did she have the power to see every part of his inner being? 

After they finished their meal, Aloy popped up, grabbed her tripcaster, and began to walk away.

“What are you doing?” Erend called after her.

“Just setting up a perimeter. We should be safe here, but I always rest easier when I have a bit of a warning system in place.” He watched as she circled their camp with blast wires.

“I can’t forget that those are there, if I have to get up in the night!” he joked.

She smiled back at him. “Well, you wouldn’t forget twice!”

The final blast wire in place, Aloy returned to the fire. Erend had unrolled his bedroll while she had been setting up the perimeter, and she quickly did the same. It didn’t escape his notice that she’d chosen a spot that was very close to his. Something stirred deep in his chest. Oh no. 

He began a now-familiar stream of self-deprecation inside his head. Come on, Erend, you’re supposed to be past this! You’ve moved on! Get it together. You’re friends, just friends. 

But the attraction that he felt was still there. He thought that he’d buried it deep enough, but the hole he’d dug hadn’t been able to contain it. There wasn’t much that he could do, other than try to ignore it. Why hadn’t he thought about this BEFORE setting off on a weeks-long trek with Aloy? 

But they’d been sharing his apartment for weeks, and he’d been OK. He’d been able to handle it. What had changed?

He glanced over at her bedding. Well, she hadn’t been sleeping less than an arm’s length away when they were in his apartment. That had changed. He hadn’t been able to hear her breathing, or moaning softly in her sleep. That had also changed. Erend gave his head a small shake. He wouldn’t help the situation with thoughts like that.

He was brought out of his reverie by the hiss of the fire. Aloy had begun to pour some of the water from her canteen onto the flames, and pushed some soil onto the remaining embers. They both knew that it would attract unwanted attention. While the night air wasn’t too cold, Erend still missed the warmth of the fire. They both waited a moment for their eyes to adjust to the moonlight before heading for their beds. 

Erend watched Aloy as she shimmied down between her blankets, not a single movement going unnoticed. 

“There.” She looked up at him, through her long eyelashes. “Good night, Erend.”

“Mmhmmm. G’night” was the most that he could manage at the moment. He crawled beneath his covers and tried to settle down. Well, as settled as he could ever get while sleeping in his armour. He was more than used to the feeling.

He looked over at her. She was bathed in moonlight, and he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. She was close, so very close, that he could have reached over and touched her. His fingers twitched, itching to feel the softness of her skin. He turned on his side, so that his back was to her. It helped, but only a little. He listened as her breathing deepened, yet sleep eluded him. By the forge, this was going to be a long trip.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he fell asleep. Unsurprisingly, he dreamt of her.

As dawn was breaking over the horizon, Aloy rose and then tried to rouse Erend. He was sleeping deeply, making the funniest little noises and grunts. Thankfully, she noted, he didn’t snore. Aloy put her hand on his shoulder and shook him gently. “Erend. Heh, wake up sleepyhead. Morning’s here, time to get up.”

“I’m awake, I’m awake” he replied groggily, still lost in the fog of sleep. He rolled onto his back, but then quickly sat up, suddenly wide awake. He brought his knees to his chest and clasped his hands around them. He sat there for a moment, yawned and pretended to take his time in waking up, then rubbed his hand back and forth over his mohawk a few times. Aloy had busied herself with something else, he saw, and wasn’t paying him any mind. 

He could only hope that she hadn’t noticed. He didn’t think that she knew about what sometimes happened to men’s bodies in the morning – she hadn’t spent much time alone with men other than Rost, and he sincerely doubted that Rost would have told her about this kind of thing. He had no doubt that she was a virgin too, having been an outcast, so it wasn’t as if a lover would have brought her up to speed. He didn’t really think that the first morning of their trip would be a good time to fill her in, so he just waited.

“Not a morning person I see?” Aloy said teasingly. 

He glared playfully and curled his lip, which made her laugh softly. Another minute and he was good to go. He stood, his bedding tumbling to the ground around him. 

They ate breakfast quickly, finishing the last of the turkey from the night before. They rolled up their bedding and gathered their supplies, both working quietly and efficiently. Hoisting their packs onto their backs, they were on their way.

They headed first to the nearby stream that Aloy had found the day before, and refilled their canteens. Erend splashed a bit of cold water on his face, but it wasn’t as helpful as he had hoped it would be. He still felt tightly wound, and It took the better part of the morning for him to begin to relax again. 

________

Erend listened to the crunch of their boots on the grass. They hadn’t spoken a single word in over an hour, and yet that didn’t feel odd to him. He was happy around her, and didn’t feel the need to fill the quiet with chatter. Theirs was an easy silence.

After another hour, however, Erend felt like talking. He thought that he might tell Aloy a joke, but all of the jokes he knew he had heard from the vanguard – and none of them were appropriate, that was for sure. He thought about it a while longer, until he remembered that Aloy had asked him about The Claim and the Oseram. That gave him an idea.

“Heh, have I ever told you why the Oseram are masters of brewing?” When she shook her head, he launched into the story of how ale and mead became such an integral part of his culture.

He continued talking as they walked along, telling her some of the traditional stories from his tribe. He explained their beliefs around how the world was started, what happened to the Old Ones and the Metal World. These stories led them to talk about beliefs – their own beliefs versus their tribe’s beliefs. Their fears and uncertainties, about this life and the next. Erend had never in his life spoken like this to anyone, and he found that he liked opening up to Aloy.

The conversation moved easily between them, going from deep philosophical ideas to more lighthearted topics. They talked about the differences between their cultures, describing foods, expressions, and ideas that were unique to each. They continued talking until the sun was setting, stopping only when they split up to hunt and set up camp. Again, Aloy took her bow and headed into the nearby brush while Erend busied himself finding fuel for the fire. As soon as they were seated by the fire, their rabbits sizzling in the heat, they went right back to talking.

“Do you know why the forge is so important to the Oseram?” he asked her, staring into the flames. He barely waited for her reply, so eager was he to share these parts of himself with her.

It was very late before the conversation finally started to quiet down. They were both yawning, yet somehow reluctant to go to bed. There had been an intensity and intimacy to their exchanges, one that neither had experienced before and both were unwilling to give up. Finally, they could put it off no longer. Erend reached for his canteen to douse the flames while Aloy quickly set the perimeter. 

He unrolled his bedding and crawled in, yawning loudly. Two short nights in a row – it wasn’t unprecedented by any means, but his mood tended to sour when he was short on sleep and he wanted to stay in good spirits. He was already settled in when Aloy came up beside him. She looked down at him, her bedroll tucked under her arm. She didn’t say anything, but the look on her face spoke volumes. Erend considered it for a moment, and then nodded. They had shared something today, something special. Their relationship had grown, changed in a way that he couldn’t put his finger on.

Aloy unrolled her bedroll right beside Erend’s, and cuddled up to his arm as soon as she was tucked away beneath her blankets. He found that he didn’t mind this time. He felt so much closer to her now, and yet somehow this part was not as difficult as it had been the night before. Tonight, it was comforting to have her close by, her face pressed up against him. He had no trouble falling in to a deep sleep.

Several more days of traveling passed in much the same way. Erend and Aloy would rise with the sun, and walk until nearly sunset. They spent the hours in between talking, laughing, discussing and debating, or just listening to the sounds of nature around them. Erend found that his favourite part of each day was watching the sunset, Aloy sitting by his side. They never said anything during those few magical minutes, and yet they shared so much. 

__________

They were deep into the desert of the Sundom when a storm blew in from out of nowhere. It came suddenly, without any notice or warning at all, about two hours after they had set out for the day. The harsh winds whiped the sand around them, grinding it against their skin. They did their best to shield their eyes, but there was little that they could do. They leaned into the wind, fighting against it, and looked around for shelter – but they couldn’t see more than a few armlengths in front of their faces. They didn’t dare separate, it was too big of a risk. Out of options, they trudged on. 

“Aloy, why don’t you walk behind me? Hopefully, the wind won’t be so bad back there. Just grab on to the leather straps of my armour and close your eyes. I’ll guide you, be the eyes for both of us.”  
Aloy refused at first, even when Erend insisted. He knew that he’d have to take a different tack if he was going to get her to agree.

“Look, Aloy, there’s no sense in us both getting our eyes filled with sand. I’ll tell you what. I’ll go first, and lead you. When it gets to be too much, we’ll switch. Deal?” 

She was wary, but when she saw that Erend was not going to take no for an answer, she agreed.  
“On one condition. The MINUTE your eyes get to sore, I take over. Understood?”

Erend nodded in agreement, and turned his back to her. He felt her bump against his back as she grabbed one of the leather straps that hung from his armour, then felt the tension upon it as she took a firm hold of it. 

“Ready?” he called out, his mouth filling with sand.

“Ready” he heard her reply, her face tucked as close to his pack as she could.

Erend took the first few steps hesitantly, but fell in to a more natural rhythm once Aloy was in step behind him. On and on he walked, his eyes burning from the sand. He knew that he couldn’t stop, couldn’t falter, because Aloy would pick up on that right away. And he knew that there was no way he’d allow her to suffer in his place.

They didn’t make it far despite hours of walking, but eventually came upon some hoodoos that offered a little bit of shelter. They hunkered down to wait out the storm, huddled together under a blanket to protect their faces. The wind continued to whip around them, pulling at the edges of the blanket that they gripped so tightly. It was only when night fell that the wind finally started to calm. 

Aloy was the first to dare to peek out from under the blanket. Her muscles were cramped from having crouched down for so long, and she needed to rinse the sand from her mouth. Neither of them had said a single word while they had huddled tightly together, so Aloy’s voice was scratchy and rough when she finally elbowed Erend and said “OK, I think the worst of it is over. It’s safe to come out.”

Erend dropped his arms and let the blanket fall, relief flooding his body. He had been holding the blanket above both of their heads, and he’d lost all feeling in his arms about an hour before. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the large stone hoodoo behind them. By the forge, that had been a miserable day. Not the worst day ever, not even close, but a miserable day nonetheless. 

He opened one of his eyes when he heard a little giggle, followed by a fit of coughing. 

“You alright Aloy?” he asked, closing his eye again. They burned so badly, and the light of the full moon felt too bright.

“Yah, I’m fine. It’s just….” There was that little giggle again.

“It’s just what Aloy?” he looked at her now, wondering what she was up to.

She knelt in front of him, her laughter barely contained. She was staring at his hair.

Erend groaned and closed his eyes again. No doubt his mohawk, normally perfectly combed, was a complete mess.

“Don’t worry, I’ll fix it for you.”

He heard her shuffle closer, positioning herself between his knees. She leaned forward and began to comb her fingers along his scalp. He shut his eyes even more tightly, afraid what he would see if he opened them. He could feel one of her beaded necklaces bump against his cheek as she worked. Her delicate touch sent shivers down his spine. The shiver did not go unnoticed.

“Are you cold?” she asked.

“Uh, yah, a bit” he replied. For such a smart woman, he wondered how she could be so clueless sometimes.

“Well, I’m almost done. We’ll have to set up a camp of some kind for tonight. Looks like we won’t have a fire, or any fresh meat. I’m not even sure if there’s water nearby, so we’ll have to rely on what we’ve got for tonight and assess the situation in the morning.”

Aloy got up and took the blanket from Erend’s lap where it had fallen. She shook it out as best she could, a cloud of fine grit coming out of it with each shake. Erend had begun to stand when Aloy placed a firm hand on his shoulder.

“No, Erend. I’ve got this. You’ve done enough for today” she said, smiling at him gently. He nodded and leaned back against the rock. He could hear her moving around, unrolling beds and digging through packs. He heard the sound of her tripcaster as she set the perimeter. What he hadn’t heard was her walking back towards him, so he gave a little jump when she took his hand.

“OK, time for bed.” She helped him to stand and led him to where she had made their beds for the night. He felt a small stir in his belly as he watched her pulling him towards their beds, but it was gone just as quickly as it came. He was exhausted - completely drained – and quite sore from his long, painful day. He all but collapsed onto the blanket she had set out for him, and she tucked him in. She never said anything, but Erend guessed that she knew what he had been through that day. He was nearly asleep by the time she had crawled into her bedding beside him, so he almost didn’t feel the soft kiss on his cheek. Almost.

“Good night, Erend.” 

And with that, he was out.

The next morning, Aloy thought that she’d let him sleep in a bit, so she went scouting for a source of water. She found a tiny creek, barely a trickle, some ways from their camp and carefully filled their canteens. She tried to scoop some water into her mouth to rinse out the sandy grit that was stuck in her teeth, but her efforts were not very successful. What would poor Erend do, she wondered. He was much worse off than she was.

She came back to camp just as Erend was stirring. Aloy could see, even from across the campsite, that his eyes were red and swollen. His whole body was covered in a thick layer of sandy silt, the same silt that no doubt covered her. Aloy watched as Erend rose stiffly, stretching as he tried to work the kinks out of his aching body. 

Erend tried, unsuccessfully, to wipe the silt from his clothing. The metal pieces were fine, as was the leather that made up the rest of his armour. His tunic, pants, and scarf were another matter entirely. Powdery sand had been ground into the cloth, working its way between the fibres. His clothing felt stiff with it, and it scratched against him with every step. He checked his pack, which had also been filled with grit. So, no clean clothes. They’d have to find someplace to bathe.

Erend looked up at the sound of Aloy’s footsteps coming towards him. His eyes watered when he looked up at her, the brightness of the sun causing his eyes to burn. Aloy handed him his canteen, and he poured some of it over his eyes to rinse them. Better, he thought. Much better. He took a swig and swished it around in his mouth, hoping to rinse the grit from between his teeth. He was lucky to have had his orange scarf to wrap around the bottom of his face during the storm. Without it, he would have been much worse off. He walked over to the nearest hoodoo and spit out the sandy water.

“Thanks for this.” he said, holding up the canteen. Aloy just nodded in acknowledgement. “We’ll go back to the creek and refill them once we’re ready to hit the trail” she added. Erend rinsed his eyes again, the cool water helping his eyes and his spirits.

They shook out their bedding as much as they could before rolling it up and stowing it away. They ate some of their bread and hard cheese, their supply almost gone. They wearily got to their feet and headed towards the creek.

Erend was sad to see how small the creek was. There was no way that they’d be able to wash anything in there. He carefully refilled his canteen, drank until he’d drained it, and refilled it again. He stood, and tried to get his bearings. 

“We’re not too far off track” he told Aloy, once he was sure of their location. “Let’s head north. We’ll need to work our way around those cliffsides” he said, pointing to the craggy cliffs that reached towards the sky “but then we’re back on track.” With that, Erend started walking.

He worried about their supplies, but there was little that he could do. They had restocked when they passed through Lone Light, but the delay caused by the storm, along with their inability to hunt last night, had put them at risk of running out of food reserves before they reached Pitchcliff. He’d traveled this road often enough to know that there were few people, and even fewer merchants, who might be able to help them. It wasn’t as if they would starve, they were both excellent hunters, but they’d have to ration out what few pieces of bread and cheese they had left.

Erend walked ahead, lost in his thoughts. It was because of him that they were here, and he felt responsible for both of them. Aloy was more than capable of taking care of herself, he knew that. But he couldn’t help how he felt.

The one thing that lifted his spirits, though, was the thought of washing off the grime that coated every part of him. He knew that they were about a half day’s walk from the river, and he grew more eager with every step.

They trudged along in a miserable silence, their clothes rubbing painfully against their skin with every step. Erend thought that the front of his legs would be rubbed raw before they reached the river. He hoped that a good wash would be able to get rid of most of the grit in the cloth.

Finally, he saw the river up ahead, and picked up his pace. Aloy hadn’t said much since they’d left camp hours before. She too seemed lost in thought. Her step quickened to match Erend’s, but she didn’t seem to notice or care why he was hurrying.

As they neared the river bank, Erend began undoing the straps on his armour. He let his pack fall to the ground with a thunk, and quickly shrugged off his breastplate. The rest of his armour followed it, Erend shedding layers like an onion as he made his way towards the water.

It was the sound of Erend’s pack hitting the hard ground that made Aloy snap out of her mindless state. She watched Erend peeling off his clothes and let out a gasp.

“Erend! What are you doing?” 

He stopped in his tracks, his thumbs hooked in the waist of his pants. He had been so focused on getting clean that he’d forgotten about Aloy’s discomfort. Having been a freebooter, and then a vanguardsman, he had bathed countless times with members of his troop, both male and female. There was no time or space for shyness amongst soldiers. 

He dropped his hands, thankful that Aloy had stopped him before he’d gotten completely naked. He didn’t have her same need for modesty, but he understood that she needed it.

Aloy had turned her back to him in embarrassment. She called to him over her shoulder “Neither of us brought swimming tunics, Erend.”

“Aloy, have you seen the sorry state of the two of us? I feel like I have a crust as thick as my thumb over my whole body, and my skin is getting rubbed off from the sand that’s been ground in to my clothes. I respect the fact that you aren’t comfortable, but we need to come up with a solution because I absolutely have to get clean. And I don’t doubt that you feel the same way.”

He waited until she nodded her head before continuing. “OK. I’ll tell you what. I will go over there and keep my back to you. You can stay here with your back to me. That way, we can both have some privacy.”

Aloy thought about it for a bit, then nodded slowly. “Yah, I guess that that’s the best that we can do under the circumstances.”

Erend smiled, hooked one thumb into the waistband of his pants, and then circled his finger in the air, signaling Aloy to turn around.

“Well, that is, unless you don’t WANT to turn around” he said cheekily, making Aloy’s cheeks turn a bright shade of red. She hadn’t even finished turning when she heard him splash into the water, letting out an ecstatic whoop as he did so. She smiled. What a piece of work, that Erend was.

She waited until he was a ways away before peeling off her own armour and sliding into the river. The cool water brushed against her skin as it flowed past her, and she felt better already. She waded over to a large boulder near the edge of the river and placed her bow and quiver there. She may have Erend with her, but old habits are tough to break and she’d never gone anywhere without a weapon in easy reach.

Aloy undid her snarled braids, the dust in them leaving streaks of mud on her palms. She let herself slip under the water, and let the current push her towards the nearby reeds that she planned to use to help her scrub herself clean.

Erend had been splashing and scrubbing for a little while when something made him stop. He thought that he’d caught something out of the corner of his eye. He’d looked for snapmaws before jumping in, could he have missed one?

There. In the small grove of trees on the opposite bank. A watcher.

He hadn’t noticed it approaching because he had been trying to keep his eyes on the water right in front of him, so that he wouldn’t make Aloy uncomfortable. He doubted that she’d seen it, since her back was most likely to him and by extension the opposite bank.

Erend sunk down in to the water, so that only his nose and the top of his head stuck out above the surface. He began to slowly glide towards Aloy, to warn her before the machine caught her by surprise.

Despite the fact that the machines had calmed since the battle with HADES, Erend still didn’t trust them. And in this part of the desert, there were more than a few machines that were extremely dangerous, like behemoths and thunderjaws. The striders and grazers had calmed down, but were they positive that the same was true of the machines that came after the derangement started? He didn’t want to stick around to find out.

Erend startled Aloy when he slid up behind her and touched her elbow. She jumped, and looked over her shoulder to scold him. But she stopped when she saw that he had his finger over his lips, telling her to be quiet, and then he pointed to the opposite bank. Damn, a watcher.

Aloy nodded, showing Erend that she’d seen it. She sunk down in to the water too, and covered her chest with her arm. She moved towards the boulder that held her bow and quiver.

Erend had frozen when Aloy turned towards him. Her strong arms were drapped across the front of her, and Erend knew better than to stare. But oh, how he wanted to.

His eyes followed her as she moved past him, making her way to the rock that held her bow. Smart girl, that Aloy. She was always prepared. His eyes were glued to her every movement as she reached for her bow and sunk back down into the water. She turned towards the watcher as she nocked an arrow. It still hadn’t noticed them there.

In a single, fluid motion, Aloy had planted her feet into the river bottom as she sprang into a standing position, all while drawing her bow string. She fired as soon as she was standing, her arrow piercing the watcher’s lens. It hadn’t even fallen to the ground before she had nocked another arrow, scanning the bank. There was never just one watcher, after all. A few second later, the second watcher emerged from the trees, only to be greeted with an arrow. She spotted a third right away, and downed it just as quickly. She nocked another arrow and scanned back and forth, searching for other threats. Satisfied that there were no other machines, she released the tension on her bow. 

It wasn’t until she was lowering her bow, the threat passed, that she seemed to realize that she was naked, standing in waist-deep water, with Erend only a few armlengths away. Her cheeks flamed in embarrassment as she set her bow back on to the boulder and plunked down in to the water. She covered herself with her arms, sheepishly looking at him through her eyelashes. 

Erend couldn’t help but smile at her. It wasn’t a flirty smile – well, it wasn’t NOT flirty, but that wasn’t what made him smile. He was genuinely amazed at her skill, awed by her ease with a bow. How many people could kill three machines with three arrows? Not many. That she did it while standing naked in a lake was just a bonus.

Aloy had looked at her hands with a great intensity while Erend climbed out of the river. He went to his pack and dug around, choosing what he thought to be his least sandy clothes. He pulled on the pants, grabbed the tunic, and went back to the river’s edge.

“Here, Aloy, you can wear my tunic for a while. Everything else is full of grit, so we’ll have to wash them.”

Aloy sighed and nodded. She covered her chest, and flicked her hand at him, urging him to turn around. He smiled and waggled his eyebrows at her, but then complied, laughing. 

Erend’s breath caught in his throat when he heard the splash of her exiting the river behind him. He listened to the grass beneath her bare feet as she approached. He held his tunic in his hand, and when she stopped behind him, he passed it to her over his shoulder. She placed a delicate hand in the middle of his back as she leaned forward to take the tunic. Erend closed his eyes, the feeling of her hand almost like a burn on his skin. He never wanted to forget that feeling.

He heard the rustling of the tunic as she slid it over her head. He waited until she gave the OK before he turned around.

By the forge! Seeing his tunic on her was truly a sight to behold. It billowed around her, her tiny body seemingly swallowed up by the large tunic. It brushed against the top of her thighs as the wind moved it around her, but she was too busy rolling up the sleeves to notice. Erend cleared his throat and tried to focus on something else, anything else. 

They gathered up their dirty clothes, both the ones that they had been wearing and the ones in their packs, and knelt down by the river to start washing them. Erend looked at the puffs of dust that came out of his clothes with every swish of his hand, but it wasn’t enough to distract him from what was going on beside him. Aloy was leaning over the river, his tunic not quite covering her backside. The neck hole of the shirt was too large for her, and it flopped back and forth every time she moved. It gave little flashes of what hid just underneath, enough to drive a man crazy. Erend was glad that he was leaned over his own work, because his body refused to keep the secret of his attraction to her, and his thin pants did little to hide his reaction.

Once they had finished their work (Erend having been particularly diligent in his rinsing), they wrung out their clothes and laid them over bushes and branches to dry. They decided to make camp nearby, given the hour. Their clothes would be dry by morning.

Once they had selected a spot a short distance from the river, Aloy grabbed her bow and turned to go hunting. Erend watched her go, mesmerized. He sucked in a sharp breath when he noticed her crouch down and walk softly into some tall grass. No, he was sure of it now, that tunic was not quite long enough to cover her backside. He made a mental note to never, ever wash that tunic again.

Erend busied himself setting up their camp, hoping that Aloy would be gone a while. He needed a bit of space to calm himself, time to catch his breath. Having her around was wonderful most of the time, but every now and then he found himself overwhelmed. And it wasn’t as if he could just excuse himself into the bushes to take care of things. He had no choice but to grind his teeth and work through it. One thing he was sure of, he was getting lots of practice on his distraction techniques.

After they filled their bellies on roasted boar, they crawled beneath their covers. Neither of them were ready to sleep, but the cold night air brushing against their bare skin was making them both shiver.

They kept the fire lit as long as they could, but Erend eventually got up to extinguish it. The close call with the watchers had them both on edge, and they didn’t want to risk another visit from machines. As soon as the flames died and the embers grew cold, the cold immediately began to seep into their blankets. Erend could hear Aloy’s teeth chattering, his own bare chest burning from the cold.

“Aloy, if you wanted to, we could put our blankets together. Twice the layers, plus we could keep each other warm.” Erend, you idiot, what are you doing?

Aloy thought about it for only a moment. “That’s a great idea Erend” she said as she began to stand. Erend watched as she pulled her blankets over him, and tugged on his until there was enough to cover her. Each tug caused the tunic to swing, once again giving Erend a teasing view of her chest. She stood tall to survey her work, leaning down to tug this way and that, to make sure that they would both be as covered as possible.

Erend couldn’t help but stare this time, though, as Aloy stood over him. She was silhouetted by the moon, its bright light shining through the thin fabric of the tunic, outlining every curve of her body. She truly was breathtaking, he thought. In who she was and in what she could do, yes, absolutely. But Erend would have to be completely blind to ignore the power of her beauty. 

Aloy carefully slipped beneath the covers beside him, and he felt her hands tugging on the hem of the tunic that had obviously slid up around her waist. She turned towards him and laid her head on his shoulder, his arm curling around her almost automatically. Her arm found its way across his stomach, while her leg hitched itself across his. She let out a contented sigh as the warmth of his body seeped in to hers, wiggling slightly to cuddle a bit closer. He breathed deeply and thought about training drills. Focus on the training drills, Erend. Yes indeed, he was getting very good at practicing his distraction techniques.

In no time, she was asleep. Once her breathing had evened out, Erend allowed his mind to wander. The warmth of her palm against his chest, her fingers curled into his chest hair. The feel of her skin against his. The weight of her leg as it rested on his. He allowed himself to fantasize as he laid there in the dark, tangled together with this incredible woman. 

Aloy woke well before him, and had already gathered their dried clothes by the time Erend sat up. He felt the sudden shock of cold air against his bare chest and back, but wouldn’t allow himself to lay back down. He wondered if it would just be easier to tell Aloy about men’s morning surprises, but finally decided against it. The less time they spent talking about his bodily reactions, the better. 

It took several minutes of Aloy’s cajoling to get him up and out of bed. Aloy was already fully dressed, he noticed, the tunic he’d loaned her draped over his pack. Erend grabbed his clean clothes and armour, and turned his back to dress. He didn’t notice Aloy peaking at him as he took off the pants he’d been wearing, nor the way she watched his thick muscles move as he pulled on his clean clothes.

They ate breakfast quickly, eager to get going. They finished packing and headed out, Aloy quickly searching the three watchers she’d killed as they went by.

The river marked the end of the desert, and the start of the climb into the mountains. They were still a few days from Pitchcliff, but the hills were already getting taller and the wind was already getting colder. 

Once again, they fell into the same easy rhythm they’d enjoyed before the sandstorm. They walked quickly, hoping to make up lost time; but the conversation flowed as easily as the river they left behind them. 

_______

It was late when they finally found a suitable spot to camp for the night. Luckily, Aloy had killed several rabbits while they had been walking, so they didn’t have to worry about hunting for tonight’s meal. The fire was burning by the time Aloy had finished skinning her kills, and their mouths watered as the meat roasted over the hot coals.

Bellies full and fire extinguished, they settled in for the night. Erend wondered if Aloy wanted to cuddle again tonight, but he didn’t dare ask. He’d have to be happy with having her close by. His eyelids were heavy, and he was asleep before Aloy had finished getting in to bed.

Aloy woke with a start several hours later, a loud noise having startled her. It hadn’t been the blast wires of the perimeter, of that she was sure. So what had it been? She noticed then that Erend seemed agitated. He let out a loud cry, almost yelling in his sleep. What was going on?

Aloy wasn’t sure if she should try to wake him, but finally decided to try when she heard him crying for someone or something to stop. He was upset, that much she could tell, and she didn’t want to leave him trapped in a dream that was as horrible as this one seemed to be. She grabbed both of his shoulders and gave a tentative shake. Nothing. 

“Erend!” Her voice was loud but calming. “Wake up!”

Erend woke suddenly, and reacted as if he were being attacked. Aloy found herself pinned to the ground, Erend’s hand on her throat. She smacked his arm as hard as she could, but he didn’t seem to notice it through the thick leather and steel of his armour.

It took a few moments for Erend to come to. When he saw his hand around Aloy’s neck, he recoiled in horror. He apologized again and again as she coughed and sputtered, fighting to get air back in to her lungs.

“Aloy, oh Aloy, I’m so sorry. I never meant to do that to you. I’m so sorry, I don’t know what happened.”

“Erend, you were dreaming and I tried to wake you. I must have surprised you. I know that you didn’t hurt me intentionally.”

But Erend seemed inconsolable. He sat there, tangled in his blankets, his head in his hands. His body shook.

“Erend, Erend look at me. I’m OK.” Aloy said, and paused before continuing. “What were you dreaming about? You seemed so upset.”

Erend could hear the concern in her voice. He knew that he’d scared her, and that he had hurt her. He owed her an explanation, at least. He sighed heavily, the weight on his shoulders becoming too much. They had talked so much about so many things, he knew that he could trust her with this.

“I was dreaming about the battle with HADES. I’ve been in plenty of battles before, but this one was different. This was the first time that I had soldiers under my command. I led men and women into that fight, and not all of them came back. We are going to The Claim because four of the vanguard died. They DIED, Aloy. And they were there because I asked them to be. I knew that I could lead the vanguard into a fight, get them pumped up and ready to be their best. I never thought it would be this hard to lose some of them. I’ve lost comrades before, as a soldier that’s nothing new. But it’s different this time. The guilt….the guilt is eating me up, Aloy.”

Aloy could hear the pain in his voice as he poured his heart out to her, exposing the secret he’d been carrying with him. A tear slid down her cheek as she wrapped her arms around his head and pulled him to her chest. She hugged him tightly, wishing that she could do something to help ease his pain.

“Erend, I completely understand why you feel the way that you do. But listen to me. The people that died, their blood is not on your hands. It’s on Helis’s. He is the reason that we were all there fighting.”

“I know that Aloy” Erend said softly, his face pressed against her. “I know that in my head. But my heart doesn’t quite believe it.” He pulled away from her and looked deeply into her eyes. He wiped the tear from her cheek with his thumb. “I guess learning how to live with this is part of learning how to lead.”

He laid back against her, and she held him tightly. With a loud sigh, he sat up and began to straighten his blankets. It was clear that he was done talking about this, and Aloy followed his lead. She laid beside him, worried and sad, while she stared at the sky. It was a while before she fell back asleep.

Aloy woke the next morning, and turned towards Erend. Except that Erend wasn’t in his bed. Aloy sat up and looked around. No Erend. She called out for him, thinking maybe he’d taken an early morning trip to the bushes. No reply. Aloy began to panic, launching herself out of bed. Where was he? There had been too much commotion the night before to allow for tracking. She searched around the camp, calling his name, becoming more and more frantic.

Aloy began to fear the worst. Erend had revealed some dark feelings last night, his guilt and despair at the loss of his vanguardsmen heavy upon him. What if he had gone off and done something rash? Tears obscured her vision, and she couldn’t seem to breathe.

She let out a loud sob when she heard him coming through the bushes near the camp. She ran towards him, almost tackling him to the ground as she leapt at him, wrapping herself around him. Erend stumbled backwards, surprised at the unexpected greeting.

“Heh, heh, heh. Shhhhh. What’s wrong?” he asked softly, his arms wrapping themselves around her.  
He could barely make out her words from between the sobs. He had scared her, obviously. Finally, he could make out what she was saying and he then understood. She had thought the worst. He sighed, giving himself a mental ass kicking. He could see why she might think that, after last night. It had never even crossed his mind that she might worry about him. 

“Aloy, I’m not going to do that, I promise you. And let me promise you this. If I ever, EVER, begin to think that way, I will get help. I will tell you, and I’ll talk to someone about how I’m feeling. OK?” his eyes drilled in to hers, willing her to see the truth in his words. She looked, really looked, at him and saw that what he said was true. She nodded, a hiccup escaping her lips. Erend set her back down on the ground, but they didn’t separate right away. He was OK with that.

“So, what were you doing? You’re never out of bed that early.” She asked, her eyes still glistening with unshed tears.

Erend smiled and reached into a pouch hung on his belt. “This.” he said, smiling mischievously. He pulled out four large turkey eggs and a bundle of fresh herbs. “I was going to make your breakfast. I couldn’t go back to sleep, after…..everything, so I thought that I may as well do something useful.”

He led Aloy back towards their camp and the fire ring they had set up the night before. He had gathered a few sticks and twigs while out searching for the eggs, so he had the fire started in no time. 

Aloy was still staring at him warily. She hadn’t said anything since he’d pulled the eggs from his bag. As the flames grew higher, something finally occurred to her.

“We don’t have anything to cook those in.” she pointed out to him.

“Sure we do!” Erend replied brightly, and pulled a small metal vessel from his pack. 

Aloy looked at it. It had obviously been a machine part at one point, a plate or guard of some sort. But it had been hammered into a bowl-like shape, with a flat bottom. She passed it back to Erend, and he set it on the hot coals.

“I usually use it to cook fish” he pointed out “but it works great for eggs too.” He got to work, breaking the eggs into the metal pan. He took out his big hunting knife and roughly chopped a few of the fresh herbs, mixing them in to the eggs. The eggs cooked quickly, a delicious smell filling Aloy’s nose.

When their breakfast was ready, Erend pulled the hot pan off the fire, his hands protected by his thick leather gloves. He turned towards her and stopped, suddenly unsure of himself.

“Oh, uh, I usually just eat out of the pan with my fingers. I don’t have a fork or anything like that.”

Aloy smiled at him, reached in to the pan and pulled out a large lump of scrambled egg. She popped the steaming piece into her mouth, sucking in a long breath when it started to burn her tongue. Erend laughed at her, shrugged, and grabbed a mound of egg for himself.

They made short work of their breakfast and quickly packed their gear. They were just setting off for Pitchcliff as the first flakes of snow began to fall around them.

___ 

They arrived in Pitchcliff a couple of days later. Both Erend and Aloy were tired and more than ready for a night spent by the warmth of a roaring fire. The headed straight for the inn, eager to drop their heavy packs and warm their weary bones. 

The innkeeper showed them to their rooms, which were simple but clean. Erend realized, a twinge of sadness in his chest, that this would be the first night since they’d left Meridian that they would be apart for more than an hour or two. He had gotten used to Aloy always being there by his side.

It was only mid-afternoon when they’d arrived, so there was still plenty of daylight left. Erend had planned on resupplying here, as well as stocking up on items he’d need for the cooler weather of The Claim, such as tents and thicker clothes. He had decided against switching to Oseram armour, his vanguard steel being the very best armour there was. But he knew he’d need something more than just its thick leather to keep him warm as they headed north. But first things first.

“OK, Aloy, why don’t you stay here by the fire for a bit, and warm up. I’ve got something I need to do. When I get back, we’ll go to the market for supplies. Sound good?”

Aloy nodded at him, and went to sit by the large hearth. 

Erend was glad that the barber in Pitchcliff wasn’t far from the inn. It had been a long trip already, and he was in desperate need of grooming. He’d thought yesterday about asking Aloy to help him shave, but he knew that they couldn’t afford to waste time on something so trivial. So he’d held off, looking forward to the hot foam and steaming towels that awaited him.

Erend emerged from the barbershop about an hour later, a new man. He ran the backs of his fingers against his chin, enjoying the feel of his smooth skin, before putting his glove back on. He smiled to himself, his steps feeling lighter. He never felt quite like himself when he wasn’t properly groomed.

Aloy noticed Erend as soon as he walked through the door of the inn. Of course, she thought, I should have known. She smiled at him, noticing the spring in his step.

“Alright, now that that’s out of the way, do we want to go to the market?” Erend asked, extending his hand towards her.

Aloy gave a quick nod and took his hand. She almost flew forward as he pulled her to her feet, stumbling a bit before he caught her.

“Oops. Sorry about that. I forget myself sometimes.” Erend said apologetically, a sheepish look on his face. In truth, he had momentarily forgotten how strong he was. He was normally careful around others, mindful that he could hurt people unintentionally. He hadn’t really been paying attention this time, so caught up he was in how good he was feeling. And if he was honest with himself, he often forgot how small Aloy’s body actually was. In his mind, she was this larger than life presence, so strong and powerful. 

As they steered themselves towards the merchants, a thought occurred to Erend. When he had originally thought about buying tents, before leaving Meridian, he had planned on buying two. One tent was warmer, he knew, but he has assumed at the time that Aloy would not be comfortable sharing a sleeping space with him. Their trek here had shown him clearly that this assumption was wrong. 

“Aloy” he began, clearing his throat. “I was planning on buying tents today, because it’s going to get colder the further north we go. I had originally planned on buying two, and we can still do that if you want. But….. well, is that what you want?”

Aloy thought about it for a moment, her steps slowing. She stopped and looked up at him.  
“Sharing a tent would be warmer. If you’re OK sharing with me, I’m OK sharing with you. Really, when you think about it, it won’t be any different than what we’ve been doing. We’ll just be covered.”

Erend nodded in agreement, and they continued towards the merchants. He’d shared tents with other people before, both freebooters and vanguardsmen, and it had never been a big deal. And it wouldn’t be different than what they’d been doing, really. So why did it feel different? 

They were lucky to find everything that they needed. They stocked up on dried foods, breads and hard cheeses. Erend found thick pants and a fur-lined tunic that fit underneath his armour, one that would keep him more than warm enough. Aloy, for her part, spent several minutes speaking to one of the young merchants. The merchant gestured, and Aloy gave a quick nod. She came back to stand beside Erend.

“OK, she’s got some warmer clothes in my size, but they are back in her shop. I’ll meet her there later tonight. So, is that it then?”

Erend held up his bundles and parcels, nodding. “Yah, we have everything else. We’re good to go.”

With that, they made their way back to the inn. Erend went to his room and packed away his purchases. Aloy sat by the hearth, making herself a pile of new arrows. When their stomachs started to growl, they waved at the innkeeper, who brought them steaming bowls of thick stew and piles of warm crusty bread. 

After their meal, Erend sat by the fire and enjoyed a large mug of ale, his first since Meridian. Aloy sat beside him, finishing the last of her arrows. She was fascinating to watch, so effortless. He swore, she could probably assemble new arrows as she was walking. 

When Aloy was done, she left to go meet the merchant in her shop. Erend stayed by the fire, sipping from his second mug of ale. He took his time and enjoyed it, knowing that he wouldn’t be having a third. He had no intention of getting drunk tonight, Ersa’s words ringing in his ears. But it felt strange to be among the Oseram and not have at least one pint.

Erend was wiping foam from his lip when Aloy walked back in to the room. He was glad that his hand was already in front of his mouth, because he would have hated to have her see his jaw drop. She was dressed in Oseram armour, the thick leather sure to keep her warm against the cold. The armour fit her perfectly, looked almost as if it had been made especially for her. Seeing Aloy wearing his people’s clothing set Erend’s heart racing.

He recovered quickly enough, and finished wiping the foam from his mustache. “Wow, Aloy, look at you!” He couldn’t help but notice a few of the inn’s other patrons looking at her appreciatively. It made him want to rip their throats out.

Aloy grinned, and came over to stand beside his chair. “It’s perfect, isn’t it? Exactly what I needed.” She paused for a moment before continuing “Heh look, it’s getting late, and I’m tired. I’m going to wash up and go to bed. See you at first light?” Erend nodded, and watched as she headed up the stairs. When he noticed that, once again, he was not the only one watching her hips swish with each stair she took, he growled and gritted his teeth. One of these idiots was going to be getting an ass kicking if they didn’t knock it off. 

Erend finished the last of his ale and then he too headed upstairs. Aloy had already finished in the bathing room, so Erend took his turn. He hadn’t washed since that day at the river, and he hadn’t had any soap then, so it felt good to get cleaned up. He soaped and scrubbed every part of his body, rinsed off in the large tub of water, and then soaped and scrubbed again. When he finally toweled off, he could almost hear his skin squeaking. He put on a clean tunic and pants, not needing his new clothes until tomorrow, and headed to his room.

The bed was warm and comfortable, but Erend found that he couldn’t relax. He missed the sound of Aloy breathing beside him in the dark. He missed feeling the little movements of her body next to his as she shifted around in her sleep. Finally, unable to sleep, he got up. He went to his pack and dug around in its depths, eventually finding what he was looking for. He crawled back into bed, the old wood of the frame creaking under his weight. 

The tunic that Aloy had borrowed, that day by the river. He held it close, almost cuddling it. It smelled like her still, and he began to relax. With relaxation came a flood of memories of that day. Aloy’s backside peeking out from underneath the hem. The curves of her body, silhouetted against the moonlight. The feel of her fingers as they curled into his chest hair. He remembered all of the thoughts that had run through his head as he’d laid in the dark, his arm holding her tight against him. He hadn’t been able to do anything about them on that night. But tonight was different. Tonight, Aloy was across the hall, and he had this room all to himself. He made the most of the privacy.

The next morning, when Erend came down into the inn’s sitting room, Aloy was already there.  
“I’ve already ordered our breakfast, it should be ready any minute. So, did you sleep well?” she looked at him innocently. 

“Oh, yah, I slept like a log.” Erend replied. And he had. Once he had spent himself, he’d fallen into a deep sleep. He felt rested and reenergized, ready to take on the world.

Steaming bowls of porridge appeared in front of them, sprinkled with handfuls of dried berries. They ate with gusto, eager to get going. They couldn’t dawdle if they wanted to cross into The Claim today. 

Erend finished his breakfast first, as he always did, and sat back to wait for Aloy to be done. It wasn’t that she was a slow eater, necessarily, but she didn’t inhale her food the way he did. He’d picked up the habit in his days as a freebooter.

As he leaned back into his chair, a man came up to them.

“Excuse me, sir” the man said tentatively. Both Aloy and Erend eyed him suspiciously. “Are you the Captain of the Sun King’s Vanguard?”

Erend slowly nodded, not sure where this was going.

“As you know, Sun King Avad sent messengers to The Claim, they passed through here a little over a week ago. They told us that you’d be coming, looking for fighters.” 

Ah, so that’s what this was about. Avad had spread the word to every village in The Claim, Erend knew. He should have figured that he’d be recognized eventually.

“Well, sir, it’s just that I was wondering…. are women allowed to compete? My daughter, you see, she’s a strong fighter and very brave. She would like to be considered, if she’s able.”

Erend smiled up at the man. “Yes, absolutely, there are men and women in the vanguard. What is your daughter’s name?”

“Lalia, sir.”

“Well, tell Lalia that I expect to see her there.”

The man beamed, thanking them profusely, and hurried away.

____________

Aloy and Erend crossed the mountains and over the border of The Claim just after the sun had reached its apex. Aloy noticed the difference in the environment as soon as they were past the tallest peaks. The air became more humid as they descended, the trees becoming larger and thicker. Even the plants of the underbrush were different, more delicate looking than most she’d seen before.  
“Welcome to The Claim” Erend shouted boisterously, throwing his arms wide. Aloy laughed at his joy and exuberance - he was obviously happy to be back in his homeland. She had never felt connected to a place like that before, and she felt a twinge of envy in her stomach. 

Erend looked down at Aloy, his eyes dancing. She was smiling up at him, laughing at his antics. It really did feel good to be home again, back among his people. And it felt even better, knowing that he was sharing it with Aloy. 

The walked on, making their way towards the village of Longlake. They had a day or two yet, before they’d arrive, but they still had time. Avad’s messengers had been telling everyone that anyone interested in being considered for the vanguard should be in Longlake on the night of the new moon. Competition would begin the next day. The new moon wasn’t for a few nights yet, so Erend was in no rush. 

They came across a cave in the hillside later that afternoon. It was early yet, but the cave seemed like the perfect place to set up camp. They dropped their packs inside, but rather than splitting up the tasks as they’d done before, they decided to work together.

They began by gathering sticks and logs for the fire. Aloy watched as Erend smashed his war hammer against fallen trees to break them in to smaller pieces. She’d fought alongside him, but she’d always been too busy to watch him work. He swung the massive hammer as if it were weightless, hefting it over his head and bringing it crashing down onto the tree at his feet. The crack would echo through the valley, the force of the swing sending bits of wood flying in every direction. A single swing was enough to break a tree as thick as her leg, and he never even broke a sweat. From what Aloy could see, he didn’t even seem to be trying. She suddenly felt sorry for whatever or whoever was on the receiving end of those blows during battle.

Erend made short work of the tree on the ground in front of him. He swung his hammer lazily, the motion as familiar to him as walking. He could feel the muscles in his back and shoulders flex as he lifted, and his arms clenching on the downswing. He loved the smashing sounds his hammer made, the loud thud of it sending shockwaves into his forearms. 

And so they worked, Erend breaking the old fallen trees into pieces, Aloy gathering them. It wasn’t long before they had a large pile that they carted back to the cave. 

Wood gathered, it was time to hunt and gather food for their meal. Again, they worked together – this time, Aloy taking the lead. She’d locate an animal with her focus, and point it out to Erend. He’d go around to the other side of it, giving it a wide berth, and then would come crashing through the underbrush towards it. The creature would inevitably run, directly into Aloy’s line of sight. Within minutes, they’d downed two turkeys and a boar. They dug up some root vegetables and headed towards the cave. Tonight, they would feast.

______

Erend leaned against the wall of the cave, his stomach full to bursting. He looked over at Aloy, her lips shiny with boar grease, and smiled. They had spent hours cooking, eating, talking and laughing. Yet another perfect evening spent in Aloy’s company, he thought. The fire crackled merrily between them.

Aloy groaned, holding her stomach, and flopped over on to her side. She didn’t think she’d ever been this full before in her life. They’d been having so much fun, laughing and joking together as they ate, that she hadn’t noticed how much she’d eaten. Erend looked at her laying on the floor of the cave and laughed. She shot him a dirty look, which only made him laugh harder. She listened to his deep laugh as it bounced around her in the cave. She liked the sound of it, she decided. It made her feel safe and warm. 

As the fire finally began to die down, they began to get ready for bed. The tent that Erend had agonized over wasn’t going to be needed tonight. They rolled out their bedding and banked the coals of the fire. They didn’t need to extinguish it tonight, the cave hiding them well enough from any passerbys. They laid side by side all the same, almost as much out of habit as out of a need for warmth.

Aloy was up with the sun, as always, and teased Erend until he grumpily got out of bed. They ate a big breakfast, careful not to overdo it this time, and packed away the little that remained. Erend guided them down to a nearby stream, a clear brook that came down from the snowy mountains. The water was icy cold, and they both drank their fill before topping up their canteens. 

They had been walking about an hour when Aloy stopped. Erend followed her gaze, and grumbled when he saw what had caught her attention. A series of red flares lay on the ground nearby, the telltale sign of stalkers in the area. He hated those sneaky buggers.

Aloy noticed the look on Erend’s face, and she had to agree with the sentiment. Stalkers were her least favourite too – invisible to her focus when they were cloaked, she felt like she was missing a limb when it came to fighting them. She hoped that the machines would leave them alone. They hadn’t yet encountered a machine that hadn’t either ignored them or run away from them, and she hoped that the trend would continue.

They walked as quietly as possible, their ears straining to hear the sounds of hydraulic movement. Finally, they knew that they were in the clear and resumed their previous pace.

It was another few hours before they stopped for a break, pulling some leftover turkey from their packs. They sat together on a thick log, chewing quietly. 

“We’re almost there.” Erend said, tossing the last of his bare turkey bones into a bush. “The trees should clear in about half an hour or so.”

The trees should clear? wondered Aloy to herself. What does that mean? She finally remembered what Erend had said on one of the first days of their journey together. The area around an Oseram village was clear of trees, fuel for the forge at the heart of the community.

Aloy stood and wiped her hands on some leaves, trying to remove as much turkey grease as possible. Erend had walked on ahead, but turned to wait for her as she tidied herself. When she was standing beside him, her hands as clean as she could get them, he just looked down at her. She knew what he was asking, without him even having to say it. She nodded, letting him know that she was good to go. She knew that she didn’t need to say it – he knew exactly what she’d said. The words weren’t necessary.

They walked along, falling into step beside each other as they always did. Soon, Aloy could see that the forest was becoming brighter, with more sunlight filtering in between the trees. And just as Erend had said, about a half hour after they had stopped to eat, they emerged from the forest into a vast clearing. Aloy could see a village on a hilltop in the distance. 

“There it is. Brighthill.” Erend said, picking up his pace. He was eager to arrive. The village looked quiet, the only sign of life the plume of smoke coming from the forge. A thin blanket of snow lay on the ground around it, sparkling in the sun.

“We can either stay here tonight” Erend continued “or we can push on until sunset. It’s a full day’s walk from here to Longlake, where the competition is being held, so we’d be there in plenty of time either way.” 

Aloy thought about this for a minute, but eventually decided against spending the night in the inn. “No, let’s keep going” she said “it’ll be a cold night, but we have our tent, and I’d rather not get to Longlake too late in the day.”

Erend’s heart fluttered. He had secretly hoped that she’d choose to spend one more night alone with him. They’d be sleeping separately once they reached Longlake, and the idea of not having her by his side was already weighing heavily on him.

“Great. There’s just one thing that I need to do in Brighthill, then we can be on our way.”

Erend led Aloy into the village, steering her towards the small local market. “Why don’t you look around here while I’m gone. I won’t be long” he told her, gesturing towards the vendors gathered there. Aloy nodded, and pulled some desert glass from her bag. Oh, these merchants would love her!

Erend slipped away and made a beeline for a shop across the way. Aloy had never been to Brighthill, but every Oseram in The Claim knew that this was where Olom had his shop. Olom was famous among the Oseram for his skill in jewelry making, his pieces of hammered metal were one of a kind. Erend had thought of Olom before they’d ever left Meridian, and he’d brought plenty of shards with him in case he decided to visit. He hadn’t been sure, before leaving, whether this would be a good idea. But their time together, and how close they’d gotten during their days on the trail, had left no doubt in his mind.

Erend walked in to Olom’s workshop and found the grizzled man hunched over his workbench. “Can I help you?” Erend heard him call, still hunched over the delicate ring he was working on. 

“I hope so. I was wondering if you would be able to make a piece of jewelry for….. for a very close friend of mine.”

“A friend, eh?” Olom looked up, a knowing look in his eyes. “Yah, I could probably do that. What sort of thing did you have in mind?”

Erend shrugged. “I’m not sure, exactly. I’m not really good at this sort of thing.” 

“Alright. Well, can you tell me a bit about her? What’s she like?”

Erend felt his lips curl in to a dreamy smile. “She’s breathtaking, truly, it’s enough to make you dizzy. She’s incredibly strong and smart as a whip. She’s caring, and giving. She is absolutely fearless, courageous beyond measure. But she’s also delicate. Compassionate. She’s just amazing in every way.”

Olom smiled. He enjoyed hearing people talk this way about the ones that they cared about. It was one of the things that he liked most about his profession. “Is she here? Could I meet her?” he asked.  
“She’s at the market at the moment. But I was hoping to make this a surprise.” Erend said, before adding “but she’s Nora, not Oseram, so she won’t know who you are. Can you get what you need and still keep this between us?”

“Yes, yes, without any trouble” the old man replied. “Lead me to her. Let me meet this incredible Nora woman…..who is just your friend, of course.” 

Erend blushed a bit, and stepped out of the shop. Olom followed closely behind him as they headed for the market.

“Aloy! I’d like you to meet someone!” Erend called to her as they approached the merchants, seeing that she’d concluded her business. She hurried towards them, smiling.

“Aloy, this is Olom. An…old friend. I ran in to him….while I was running my errand, and he insisted on meeting you.” Erend explain, hoping that Aloy would not see through his little white lie.  
“It’s nice to meet you, Olom” Aloy said, smiling at him.

“It’s nice to meet you too, my dear. Erend, why don’t you leave us alone to talk. Go run your errand, and meet me back at my shop when you’re done.” Olom said, shooing Erend away. He placed his hand on Aloy’s elbow, and led her towards a nearby bench.

“Oh, uh, alright.” Erend said, not entirely sure that he liked this idea. What was Olom up to?  
Erend walked around for a bit, trying to look busy. In truth, he didn’t have any other errands to run – his only reason for coming to Brighthill had been to see Olom. After he felt that he’d wandered around enough, he made his way back to the jeweler’s shop to wait.

The door opened a short while later, and Olom shuffled in. He looked over at where Erend was seated.

“So?” Erend asked nervously.

“She is a vision, isn’t she?” Olom replied in a not entirely helpful way.

“That she is. Can you make her a piece?” Erend asked, hoping that this delay hadn’t been for nothing.

“Oh yes, I know exactly what to make for this one. I’ll need some time, though.”

Relief flooded Erend’s chest. “That’s no problem, we won’t be back this way for a few weeks.”  
“That’ll be fine. I’ll have it ready for you when you come back this way.”

Erend turned to go, then hesitated. They hadn’t discussed the price. Olom seemed almost to read his mind.

“Your Aloy. Is she the same Nora girl that I’ve heard about? Fought on behalf of the Oseram in Freehold and Pitchcliff? The one who saved Meridian? Saved us all, if even half of the stories about her are true.”

Erend was surprised, he didn’t think that stories of her heroics would have made it all the way to The Claim. “Yah, that’s her.” 

“Then I am honoured that you have chosen me to make a gift for such a remarkable person. There will be no charge.” And with that, Olom turned back to his workbench. There would be no further discussion on the matter.

Erend left the workshop, not quite sure that he’d heard right. Olom, a man who could normally command any price, would make a piece especially for Aloy, but he expected nothing in return? He had not been expecting that! He found Aloy, still sitting on the bench she’d shared with Olom.  
“Ready to go?” she asked him, gathering her things. 

“Yah, all done. Let’s get going.” 

_____

By the time they made camp for the night, Aloy still had not asked about Olom. Erend didn’t know what the two had discussed, but he didn’t dare ask for fear that Aloy would start to ask him questions. He’d told her that Olom was an old friend, but he’d only known the man to look at him – they’d never even met before today. Erend knew that he wasn’t a good enough liar to make up a believable story, so he thought it best to avoid bringing up the subject all together.

Snow had begun to fall as the sun was setting, so they would most certainly need their tent tonight. It was thick and heavy, and had been coated in a layer of grease that would keep out any moisture. They’d be comfortable tonight. Erend set it up quickly, his years as a soldier once again being put to good use. He laid their bedrolls and packs inside to keep them from getting wet in the snow, and then began to gather wood for a fire. It was hard to find dry kindling, but he was able to snap off enough dead tree branches to start a fire. Once it was going, they’d be able to use the damp wood that he’d found on the ground.

Erend watched the fire reach into the sky, the flames licking at the fresh log he’d just added. He had just begun to wonder what was keeping Aloy when she emerged from the bushes nearby. She had two rabbits slung over the end of her spear, a look of disappointment on her face.

“Sorry that took so long. It seems that most of the animals have hidden themselves away to wait out the snow. I was lucky to find these” she said, flinging the rabbits to the ground. 

“These are great, thanks Aloy. Why don’t you warm up by the fire while I skin these.” Erend said, giving her a small smile of encouragement. He busied himself with the rabbits, peeling off their skins in one swift motion. He brought them over to the fire and skewered them on to the sticks he’d prepared. He looked at Aloy, who was staring into the fire. 

“So, tomorrow we’ll be in Longlake. We’ll have a bit of time before I need to set things up for the competitors. I was thinking of going fishing. What do you think? Would you like to come?”

Aloy smiled at him, his words seeming to lift her spirits. “Yah, I’d love to go fishing with you.”

Once their meal was done and the fire was extinguished, they crawled in to their tent. Erend hadn’t noticed, when he’d bought it, how small it was. It only just fit the two of them, along with their packs. Aloy didn’t seem to have noticed, though. 

“I was wondering, given the snow, if we wanted to share our blankets again tonight” she asked innocently. “That seemed to work well, that night by the river.”

Erend thought back to that night, and the thunderstorm of feelings that had raged inside him. He had had to remind himself often over the course of his trip that Aloy was just his friend, and that he couldn’t allow himself to kiss her. He wasn’t allowed to caress her skin. That night by the river, he remembered, had nearly shattered his resolve. But it had also been one that he would never forget.

“Yah, that sounds like a good idea” he said finally, his voice wavering only a little. He could feel his heart pounding in anticipation, and he hoped that Aloy hadn’t noticed.

They worked together to spread out their blankets, brushing up against one another in the tight confines of the tent. When they were finally satisfied, they settled beneath the covers.  
They’d been under the covers for only a few minutes when Aloy’s whole body shivered. “Brrr. That chill has gone right through me!”

Even though he knew that he shouldn’t, Erend turned onto his side and put his arm around her waist. He pulled her towards him, and she turned onto her side as well, her back to him, to snuggle in close. He marveled at how well their bodies fit together, her delicate frame folding around his. He fought the urge to bury his face in her hair.

Aloy turned her head to look at him, and she reached up her arm to rest her hand on his cheek.  
“Thank you, Erend. You always know exactly what I need.” She hesitated a little, and then brushed his lips with hers. The kiss was soft and gentle, but it stole his breath completely. He watched her lay back down in front of him and close her eyes. He fought the urge to kiss her, his body flooding with the need to feel her lips against his. Everywhere where her body laid against his suddenly felt like fire. He clenched his fist, fighting desperately against the screaming of his body. He felt her back pressing against his chest, and it nearly broke him. He breathed deeply, trying to think of training drills, but he only succeeded in filling himself with her scent. He thought that he would go mad, the throbbing in his body becoming overwhelming. 

He laid there for what felt like forever, his body waging a silent war against his mind. Aloy laid in front of him, fast asleep, completely oblivious to the battle that raged around her. He would never do anything to violate her trust, that much he knew. That part was completely non-negotiable. But that knowledge didn’t stop the fire in his veins. It was the fire that he was wrestling with, trying to gain control over the urges that threatened to drown him. He had to, he knew, he had no other choice. He listened to her soft breathing as he slowly took control, the screams quieting to whispers. At long last, he fell asleep. 

Aloy woke the next morning and tried to untangle herself from Erend. His massive arm was wrapped around her waist, hugging her to his chest. She wiggled out from underneath it, Erend grumbling softly in his sleep and rolling on to his stomach in the space she’d just vacated. She watched him for a moment as he slept, a warm feeling filling her chest. She could no longer imagine a life without him in it, she thought. She leaned over him, kissing his temple softly, and quietly left the tent.

She let Erend sleep for a while more, since they were in no rush to leave this morning. His days in Longlake would be very full, and this may be the last lazy morning that he would have for the next long while. She started the fire, gathered more wood, and went to fetch water. She was back, sitting by the fire, when she heard movement inside the tent.

“Look who’s finally awake! Good morning sleepyhead” she called to him over her shoulder. She could hear him mumbling a response, and laughed at him. How could someone be so bad with mornings?

Erend stumbled out of the tent, his eyes still not completely open yet. He recoiled from the light of the sun, mumbling again, and plunked himself beside her by the fire. He stared at the flames, still trying to wake up. What was with him this morning, Aloy wondered. He’s never been a morning person, but he isn’t usually this bad.

She handed him some food, pieces of dried meat and dried fruits that she’d picked up from the merchants in Brighthill. He nodded in thanks, still not able to string together a sentence, and began chewing on them. Yes, Aloy decided, there was something strange going on with him this morning. Maybe he’d been dreaming about HADES again? 

“Are you alright, Erend? Do I need to be concerned about you?” she asked.

His head snapped around to look at her. Oh, he was awake now. “What? No. What are you talking about?”

“You just seem to be acting strangely this morning, that’s all. Do you want to talk about it?”

“No, there’s nothing to talk about. Just having trouble waking up, that’s all. It’s no big deal.” he said, forcefully enough that Aloy understood that the subject was closed. She sighed softly. They had talked about anything and everything under the sun, and she thought that he knew that he could tell her anything. But every once in a while, he’d act strangely around her and refuse to talk. She didn’t know what all that was about, but she knew that she didn’t care for it. 

A little dark cloud seemed to follow Erend around as they broke camp and packed their gear. It began to dissipate as they walked towards Longlake, the warm sun helping to clear his head.

“Aloy, listen, I’m sorry about this morning. I didn’t have the greatest sleep, and I can be kind of a grump when I’m tired. I was short with you, and you didn’t deserve that.”

“KIND OF a grump?” Aloy replied playfully. He gave her a good-humoured shove, and she laughed. “It’s alright, Erend. I get it – you’re not a morning person. This hasn’t exactly escaped my notice, you know.”

Erend feigned offense, and began laughing too. Good, he thought, we’re back to normal. Best to put this whole mess behind me and move on.

They made it to Longlake in the early afternoon, and checked in to the inn. Erend didn’t want to stick around, for fear that some of the competitors would already be there. He’d be spending a week evaluating them, and he didn’t feel like devoting his last few hours of free time to idle chit chat. 

They tossed their packs into their rooms and headed back out of the village. Longlake was quite a bit bigger than Brighthill, and was situated near the shore of a beautiful lake. Aloy imagined that it must have been much more beautiful when it had been surrounded by trees, but as with all Oseram villages, this one had a wide swath of bare soil and rock that surrounded it. They walked along the shore for a ways, the waves quietly lapping against the rocks at their feet. Once they were far enough that no one would bother them, Erend stopped. 

“Have you ever fished with a line before?” he asked her. 

She shook her head. “No, I’ve always used my bow to fish.”

“Well, then, let me show you.” Erend reached in to his pocket a pulled out a long, thin piece of clear crystal braiding. There was a barbed hook at the end of it. He handed it to Aloy, careful not to poke her with the hook, and then pulled out a piece of metal bar. Aloy watched in amazement as he pulled piece after piece from inside the bar, each slightly narrower than the last, making it longer and longer. He attached the end of the crystal braiding to the end of the metal rod, and then produced a piece of dried meat from his pocket.

“OK, so. You start by putting the bait on the hook” he said, demonstrating. “And then you cast into the water, like this.” 

Aloy watched the little hook sail through the air, landing with a plop out in the water. Erend wiggled the metal bar in his hands, giving it a little tug every now and again. Suddenly his eyes lit up, the end of the rod bouncing.

“Got one!” he yelled excitedly as he began to reel in the crystal braiding. Aloy could see the braiding shaking in the water, swishing back and forth. Erend was calm and steady as he pulled it towards the shore.

When Aloy saw the fish that had taken the bait, she was amazed. It was huge, much bigger than any fish she’d ever caught with her bow. She let out a gasp as Erend lifted the enormous fish out of the water and held it in front of him. He threw the fish up on the shore and knocked it over the head with his hammer, killing it. 

Erend handed her the metal bar. “OK, your turn.”

Aloy wasn’t sure about this, but she thought that she might as well try. He’d made it look fairly easy, after all. She took the metal rod and the piece of dried meat from his hand. She speared the meat onto the hook, as he’d shown her, and then turned towards the water. 

What happened next was a series of embarrassments that Aloy wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to live down. It turned out that casting, unlike what Erend had led her to believe, was actually quite difficult. She snagged the hook in the bushes behind her. She caught it in some rocks near the shore. She watched that dumb hook plop down into the water less than an armlength from the shore, the piece of dried meat, now soggy, floating away. She somehow managed to get the hook caught in one of her braids, which Erend had to help her untangle. Meanwhile, Erend was watching her attempts and laughing. He eventually had to lay on the ground, holding his stomach, as he gasped for air. His laughter only made her more frustrated, which only served to make each attempt worse that the one before it. It wasn’t until she nearly hooked him that Erend finally put her out of her misery.

“OK, OK, Ok, that’s enough” he said, gasping as tears streamed down his face. “No more, please.”

Aloy dropped the metal pole and stomped away, Erend howling with laughter behind her.

“Hang on, Aloy, wait.” Erend said, taking her arm. “I’m sorry, I’m not laughing AT you. It’s just, if you could see yourself….”

Aloy glared, obviously not consoled by his words.

Erend finally quieted. “It’s just, I’m kind of amazed. I have finally discovered the one thing that you’re not incredible at.”

The one thing that she wasn’t incredible at? What was he talking about? There were lots of things that she couldn’t do well, normal human interaction topping that list.

Aloy let out a huff and crossed her arms, causing Erend to chuckle some more. When she shot him a dirty look, he held up his hands in surrender. He grabbed his fishing gear and tucked it away, then scooped up his fish. They headed back towards the village. 

The innkeeper prepared their fish for them, stuffing it with fistfuls of fragrant herbs. He served it on a pile of steaming roasted vegetables, setting their mouths watering. They ate with gusto, enjoying the mild flavor of the flaky fish. It was a nice change from the game they’d been having for the last while.

They were nearly finished when Erend noticed that Aloy was acting strangely. She kept looking towards the back corner of the room and shifting uncomfortably.

“What’s wrong?” Erend asked.

“I’m not sure” came her reply. “There’s a woman over there who keeps staring at us. I can’t tell what she wants.”

Erend gave a quick, subtle glance over his shoulder. It was all he needed. He knew exactly what she wanted.

“Aloy, that’s a companion.” Aloy looked at him, confused. He sighed heavily – sometimes her naiveté was less endearing. “A companion is a man or woman who…. Uh…. offers their services for a price.” Aloy obviously still wasn’t getting it. “Their services, as in, physical, uh….” He saw the light go on in Aloy’s head as she understood what he meant. Thank the forge. She immediately turned as red as molten steel, a shade likely similar to his own face. But he had given thanks just a little too soon.

“But I don’t understand. Why does she keep looking over here?” she asked, still not clueing in.  
Erend dropped his head into his hands, unable to make eye contact with her. “Aloy, she keeps looking over here because she thinks that…..that one of us might want to be a customer.”

If Aloy could have melted in to the floor, she would have. She muttered something, completely incoherent, and jumped up from her spot on the bench. She hurried up the stairs towards the bedrooms as fast as her legs would carry her. Erend couldn’t say that he blamed her. 

When Aloy didn’t return, Erend figured that she had gone to bed. He ordered a mug of ale, not yet ready to turn in.

The creak of the bench beside him didn’t help his frayed nerves. He felt the woman’s hand on his arm, her warm breath as she leaned towards him to whisper in his ear.

He just wanted to be left alone, he thought. But did he? He thought about the previous night, how his blood had boiled with need. He couldn’t betray Aloy, but then again – she had made it clear time and again that they were just friends. He felt the weight of his shards in the pouch at his waist. He’d brought more than they needed, much more, thinking that he’d need to pay for Aloy’s gift. But those shards were no longer required. So why not? Why not enjoy a night with this companion? She wasn’t as beautiful as Aloy, not even close, but she was willing. Was that enough?

Erend wrestled with his feelings as the companion stroked her finger back and forth along the length of his arm. She sure wasn’t making it easy to decide. But he finally made up his mind. He was just beginning to talk to her when Aloy came back down the stairs.

Aloy saw Erend talking to the companion, watched as the woman stroked his arm. She froze on the stairs. That was when Erend looked up, and saw her staring at him. Aloy turned and rushed back up the stairs to her room. Erend sighed and went after her.

Aloy heard the knock on her door, but she wasn’t sure whether she wanted Erend to come in. What do you want, Aloy? she asked herself. She didn’t know. 

“Come in, Erend” she called to him, and the door slowly opened.

Erend came in and sat down beside her on the bed. They both stared at the floor for a while, unsure of what to say.

It was Aloy who final broke the silence. “Erend, if you want to spend the night with that companion, I don’t want to be the one to stop you.” Her voice was filled with sadness.

“Aloy, that’s what I came to tell you. What you saw was me telling her that I wasn’t interested in her services.” Aloy’s head shot up in surprise. “She offered, but I declined. I’m not interested in temporary companionship.”

Relief flooded Aloy, although she wasn’t sure why. It’s not as if she had any right to feel that way – she and Erend weren’t a couple. They were just friends, she repeated to herself. But the thought of his arms around someone else, of him lying next to someone else, really bothered her. 

Aloy hugged Erend tight, and he buried his face into her neck, hugging her back. His heart thudded against his chest, and he felt a sense of relief. He’d made the right choice. He could feel his body protesting, but he paid it no mind. He’d rather spend a few minutes wrapped in Aloy’s arms than an hour with a stranger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason, whenever I think about Erend crossing the border into The Claim, I hear "Immigrant Song" by Led Zeppelin in my head (even though I know that the Oseram weren't based on Vikings). There's just something about Erend - it must be the hair - that makes me think that he would listen to heavy rock music. So, I've put together a road trip soundtrack for him - rock and blues songs that are -ahem- appropriate for his situation, and a few at the end that make me think of The Claim.
> 
> Erend's Roadtrip Soundtrack:  
> Burden in my hand - Soundgarden  
> Thirst - City & Colour  
> Heaven beside you - Alice in Chains  
> About a girl - Nirvana  
> I'm burning for you - Blue Oyster Cult  
> Fire Woman - The Cult  
> Hold me in your arms - The Trews  
> I need you tonight - ZZ Top  
> Feel like making love - Bad Company  
> Cinnamon Girl - Neil Young  
> Hold me in your arms - The Black Keys  
> Too afraid to love you - The Black Keys  
> Immigrant Song - Led Zeppelin  
> Ironman - Black Sabbath  
> Wherever I may roam - Metallica


	5. Recruits

Erend woke early, the long list of things that he needed to accomplish that day running through his mind. In what was surely a first, he was up before Aloy, her breakfast on the table beside him when she entered the dining hall. He was already half way finished his.

“Up early this morning, I see.” Aloy said as she sat down beside him and began eating. Erend just nodded, his mouth full. 

“Yah” he said, finally swallowing “there’s a lot to do today. Gonna go meet the members of the village council as soon as we’re done eating.” He paused, a thought having just occurred to him. “You know, we never talked about what you planned on doing when we got here. Do you want to have the day to yourself, or would you prefer to come with me and help set up the testing grounds?”

Aloy smiled at him. “I don’t even have to think about that one! I’m coming with you, absolutely. I want to see what passes for testing among the Oseram.”

Erend gripped his chest in mocked anguish, as if the playful jab had mortally wounded him. Aloy giggled, before turning back to her food. They finished their breakfast and headed out the door.

They had only taken a few steps from the front door of the inn when a small group of people came around the corner in front of them. 

“Members of the council, good morning.” Erend said warmly, recognizing them immediately. “It’s good to see you all again. We were just heading down to the testing grounds to meet you.”

“Erend, so nice to have you back among us!” said the council member at the front of the group, obviously the leader. “Listen, Erend, we’ve had something come up that will need our attention this morning, so we unfortunately won’t be able to assist you with the preparations of the grounds. But everything that was requested has been gathered and is waiting for you there. I trust that you remember the way.”

Erend nodded, and the council members turned to go. He was glad that he’d sent a list of supplies with the messengers that Avad had sent out ahead of them. This already long day would have been much longer if they had had to find everything that he would need. Erend jerked his head to the side, indicating the way to the testing grounds, and Aloy immediately fell into step beside him. 

The Oseram training and testing grounds were in a large flat area near the tree line to the east of Longlake village. They had been used for many years, to train and evaluate generations of Oseram warriors. Erend had spent time here himself, his blood dripping onto the soil more than once. It had joined with Ersa’s, and his father’s, and many other warriors from his clan, uniting them all. 

As they approached the proving grounds, Aloy could see piles of supplies near the trees, obviously intended for Erend. There were stacks of training dummies, mimicking both man and machine. There were racks for weapons, and targets on tripods, and piles of netting and rope. There was also an elevated platform over to the side, with a long table and a few chairs set up there. As Aloy approached, she saw a box full of rolls of parchment, along with writing supplies.

They spent the next few hours crisscrossing the field, placing targets and dummies. Erend explained what he intended to do to test the competitors over the next several days, and Aloy had to admit that she was impressed. They weren’t yet sure how many people had come to be tested, but Erend was confident that they would have plenty of participants from which to choose.

With Aloy’s help, they finished sooner than Erend had initially anticipated. They headed back towards town, since Erend wanted to visit the barber. He hadn’t had his hair groomed since Pitchcliff, and he was beginning to feel shaggy.

They were near the town square when Erend heard a voice in the crowd. “Erend! Erend, is that you, you big dumb lug? It’s good to see you!” He turned towards the sound and grinned ear to ear. “Olrick? Heh! What a surprise!” Olrick and Erend greeted each other enthusiastically, smacking each other on the back. Aloy just hung back, happy to see Erend reunited with what was obviously an old friend.

“What are you doing here? Did you come to compete for a spot on the vanguard?” Erend asked him as they finally settled down. 

“Vanguard? Nah, not me. You know me, Erend. I need my freedom, I can’t be tied down to one place. I need to go where the wind takes me. A freebooter now and until the day I die.” Erend couldn’t help but look a little crestfallen. Olrick was an excellent fighter, and it would have been nice to have one of his oldest friends in Meridian. “No, me and a few of the other freebooters thought that we might be able to lend a hand with the testing. You know, sparring and whatnot. Earn ourselves a few shards in the process.”

Erend nodded. “Yah, that would be great. Registration begins tomorrow at midday, and once I know how many competitors have come forward, I’ll know how much help I need. I’ll definitely take you up on that.”

It was then that Olrick finally noticed Aloy standing nearby. He gave her his most charming and charismatic smile as she approached them. He was about to say something flirty when he noticed the look on Erend’s face. Olrick gave a subtle nod, letting Erend know that the message had been received - this one was off-limits.

“Aloy, I’d like you to meet one of my oldest friends, Olrick. Olrick, this is Aloy.”

“It’s very nice to meet you, Aloy.” Olrick said as he extended his hand. 

“It’s nice to meet you too, Olrick.” Aloy replied, smiling. “I was hoping that I’d get the chance to meet some of Erend’s friends while we were in The Claim.”

“Well, then, I have some good news for you. A bunch of us freebooters are getting together tonight, down on the beach. A lot of them knew Erend back in the day, and would love nothing more than to tell you embarrassing stories about him. We’ll have a bonfire, some good food, and plenty of brews from Longlake’s finest breweries. You should come!” Olrick looked at them expectantly.

Erend chuckled. “Yah, alright. We’ll be there. Usual time, usual place I presume?”

“You know it, my good friend. See you there.” With that, Olrick turned and was on his way. 

They continued on towards the barbershop. While Erend was inside, Aloy walked around the square, exploring the village. It was a nice enough place, she decided. Not as pretty as Meridian, but not as much hustle and bustle either. 

When Erend emerged from the barbershop, a giant smile on his face, they made their way back to the inn. They had some time before the party tonight, and they wanted to get cleaned up.

Erend bathed first, since his visit to the barber had left him partly cleaned up already. Aloy used this time to undo her braids and comb through her hair. She went through her pack and selected a clean tunic and skirt – not the Oseram one she’d been wearing since Pitchcliff, but one of her Nora outfits. She thought that she might feel awkward tonight, the lone stranger among a crowd of friends, and she figured that wearing her most comfortable clothes might help.

Erend emerged from the washing room dressed in a clean tunic and pants, a pinkish tinge to his skin. He had scrubbed with the hottest water he could stand, as evidenced by the steam in the room. Aloy took her turn, peeling off her grubby clothes and filling the basin with water. She washed her hair and scrubbed every inch of skin until it squeaked. She got dressed in her Nora clothes and left the washing room.

Aloy made her way down to the sitting area of the inn, and sat near the roaring fire in the hearth. She combed her fingers through her hair to dry it, Erend watching every stroke with fascination.

“So, you said that Olrick was one of your oldest friends. How did you two meet?” she asked him.

“It was just a few days after my adulthood ceremony – my marks hadn’t even healed yet. I had come to Longlake, to be tested by the freebooters. I met Olrick on my first day of testing. He and I were sparring partners, and I ended up accidentally breaking his nose. We’ve been friends ever since.” 

Aloy smiled, trying to imagine a young Erend in this place. 

“I’ll warn you now, though, that good old Olrick has a bit of a reputation. You’ll likely hear a few stories tonight, and I don’t want you to be too surprised. He’s both a lover and a fighter, that one. I don’t think that there’s a man or woman in all of The Claim that he hasn’t tried to bed.” Erend laughed at the expression on Aloy’s face, her eyebrows almost lost in her hairline. “It’s harmless enough. Everyone that he’s with knows that it’s meant to be casual, so there’s no hard feelings. I just thought that you should know.”

“Do you think that he’ll try anything with me?” Aloy asked, suddenly concerned.

“No, no you don’t have to worry about that. He’ll leave you alone.”

Aloy wasn’t sure what to make of that. 

Finally, her hair was dry enough to braid. Erend’s eyes followed every movement of her hand as she twisted the strands together, working her way down. He watched as her fingers slid through her silky red tresses, wishing that it were his fingers tangled in her hair. 

“There.” she said, once her wooden beads were secured in place. “All done.” She looked over towards the door of the inn, then turned to look at Erend. “We have a bit of time before we have to be at the beach. Do you want to go for a walk, maybe watch the sunset?”

“That sounds like an excellent idea.” Erend said as he began to stand. He held out his hand to her and pulled her to her feet. They headed out the door, Erend steering them towards the edge of town.

As they walked along the lakeshore, Erend reached down and took Aloy’s hand. He did it without even thinking, it was as if her hand suddenly appeared in his. Aloy looked at him and smiled, not seeming to mind. They continued walking, both of them in quiet contemplation, as they sun continued to sink towards the horizon. 

“You know, we haven’t really watched the sun set since we got to Pitchcliff. I missed this, you know. Sitting beside you and watching the sunset was my favourite part of the day.” Erend said quietly, almost afraid to shatter the silence around them, as he perched himself onto a large boulder. 

Aloy slid into place beside him, her hip resting against his. She leaned against his arm and put her head on his shoulder. “Me too.”

They sat there until the colour had drained from the sky, the stars beginning to twinkle above them. With a sigh, Erend slid off the rock, Aloy right behind him. They walked back the way they’d come, past the village and towards the revelers on the other side of the lake. 

A loud cheer erupted as Erend and Aloy approached the party. Many of the people gathered there came over to Erend, greeting him warmly and asking how he’d been. He introduced Aloy to every one of them, friends of his from when he’d been a freebooter. 

Plates full of food were pushed into their hands as they were lead towards the benches that surrounded the roaring fire. Once they were seated, Erend leaned over and spoke into Aloy’s ear, trying to make himself heard over the noise of the crowd gathered around them. “Do you remember, the night of the feast in Meridian, when I told you how the Oseram prefer to smoke their meat and fish before cooking it?” Aloy nodded. “Well” he said, waving his plate in front of him “I hope you enjoy it.”

Aloy looked down at her plate, overflowing with boar and turkey, salmon and trout. She looked back at him, as if to confirm that she’d understood him correctly. Erend smiled and gave a nod, shoving a big piece of smoked turkey into his mouth. Aloy followed suit.

Her eyes grew wide as she chewed, the taste of smoked turkey filling her mouth. “This is fantastic!” she exclaimed. “Why doesn’t everyone do this?”

Erend chuckled. “I don’t know, Aloy. I don’t know.”

They ate the rest of their meal in silence, too busy enjoying the delicious food to even think about talking to anyone. 

One of Erend’s friends came around to collect their plates, and another was right behind him with a giant mug of ale. “Erend, my friend. I poured this one especially for you!” she said as she passed him the mug. Erend took the mug and raised it in thanks. He turned and looked at Aloy. 

“Do you want to try some? We’ve got ale, or mead if you prefer.”

Aloy considered it for a moment. She’d never tried anything like that before, but she knew that it was as big a part of Oseram culture as the hammer and forge. She was in The Claim, she eventually decided, and there was no better place to try it than here. “Sure, I’ll try a little bit. But I’ve never had either ale or mead. Which do you think I should try?”

Erend smiled widely, and rose to go get her a glass. “We’ll start you off with some mead. Try that first, see if you like it.” He went over to the barrels on a nearby table and filled a glass for her.

“Here you go, the finest mead in The Claim.” Aloy took the glass and sipped from it as Erend sat back down beside her. She found that she didn’t mind the taste, and took another big sip.

Erend was watching her, almost nervously. When he saw her relax and take a second sip, he lifted his arms in triumph. “She likes it! Look at that, she likes it!” Aloy laughed and playfully smacked his leg. Erend took a big gulp from his own mug and turned back towards the fire.

Aloy could feel herself relaxing as the night progressed. She found that she really enjoyed being among the Oseram, their directness and no-nonsense approach meshing well with her own. Erend watched her interacting with his friends, a sense of pride filling his chest. Look at her, he thought, look at how well she fits in here. Along with this thought came a twinge of sadness, his heart hurting a little at what could have been. 

Erend finished his mug of ale and went to get himself another. He looked at Aloy, held up his glass and pointed to it, and she nodded. He could already feel the fuzziness creeping into his head, having almost stopped drinking completely since Ersa’s death. 

Aloy finished her second mug, and went to get a third. Erend shook his head when she offered to get him another, still nursing the massive mug in his hand. All around her, people were dancing and singing. Oseram songs, it seemed, were all about strength and courage, fire and steel. Before she had reached the table that held the barrels of brew, a young woman took her hand and dragged her towards the fire, encouraging her to dance to the drumbeats that now filled the air. She felt awkward, but the glasses of mead had calmed her nerves. She began to dance alongside the others, moving with a grace that she hadn’t been aware she possessed.

Erend watched her dance around the fire, completely enraptured. Olrick plunked down on the bench beside him, his own mug of ale in his hand. He looked across the fire, following Erend’s eyes, and watched Aloy as she danced. He could see the firelight reflecting off of her hair, the sparkle in her eyes. Olrick leaned towards Erend and spoke quietly to him.

“This one. You could spend a lifetime with this one and it would never be enough, would it?”

“No, no it would not.” Erend replied, never taking his eyes off of Aloy. 

______

“The Nora would never, ever dream about doing something like this.” Aloy said, her words beginning to slur. She was chatting with a small group of party goers, quite at ease now that she’d had more mead. She suddenly felt very warm, and excused herself to go for a walk to clear her head.

She moved away from the fire and the revelers, towards the lake. She listened to the waves gently hitting the shore, trying to ignore the off-key singing behind her. The cold night air cleared the cobwebs from her mind, at least a little, and she turned to go back to the fire. As she neared the crowd, she saw that Erend was sitting across the fire from where she stood. He was chatting with a friend, laughing and joking. She just stood, watching him. She really liked seeing him here, relaxed and happy, among his people. It was only a few minutes until he noticed her standing there, his eyes catching hers through the flames. She smiled at him, a smile that warmed him through and through. He smiled back, completely lost in her beauty. His friend was halfway through another story before Erend realized that he hadn’t been listening. He turned to look at him, and when he turned back Aloy had gone.

Aloy was cajoled into even more mead as she rejoined the group by the fire. By the time she found the bottom of that glass, she realized that her legs had become wobbly beneath her. Erend realized it too, and made his way towards her. He appeared beside her just as she stumbled, falling right into his arms. 

“Heh, there, are you alright?” he asked, looking down at her draped across him. He tried not to laugh at her, but he wasn’t having much success.

“What? Oh, uh, yah I’m OK. But I think that I’d better go back to the inn.” she said, her words slurring.

“That, Aloy, sounds like an excellent idea.” Erend placed her on her feet and waved goodnight to the crowd as they made their way back towards the village. She had only taken a few steps when she stumbled again, Erend catching her under her arms. She leaned on him to walk, but she was having trouble walking in the dark over the uneven terrain. Eventually, Erend just scooped her up into his arms and began carrying her. It was just easier, he tried to convince himself.

“I really like mead.” Aloy said earnestly, looking in to his eyes.

“I noticed that.” Erend replied, barely stifling a laugh. 

“And I really like your hair.” she added, running her fingers through his mohawk. Erend stiffened a little, but kept walking. He could feel her fiddling with his hair, her fingertips grazing his scalp. 

“And your beard. I really like your beard.” She slid her hand down his temple and began playing with the hair on his cheek. “You look really handsome like that, you know. Really handsome.”

Erend’s heart had begun to pound. She's drunk, he told himself, and she doesn’t know what she saying. He kept walking, trying not to think about the feel of her fingers on his skin. He tried not to miss a step when she dropped her hand to his shoulder and buried her face in his neck. She nuzzled him, making soft little noises that drove him to distraction. 

“Aloy, what are you doing?” he asked, both wanting and not wanting her to stop.

“You smell so good Erend. I’ve always like the way you smell.” she said into his neck, breathing deeply. 

“Aloy, please.” Erend pleaded with her as she slid her hand down his shoulder and began to rub his chest.

As Erend carried Aloy towards the village, the moon lighting their way, he hoped desperately that she wouldn’t go any further. He hadn’t had much to drink, so his judgement wasn’t compromised, but he still felt like he was teetering on a precipice. If she kept talking about him like this, touching him like this, he would never be able to get over it. Already, he could feel himself flooding with those old, familiar feelings towards her, the feelings that he tried so hard to repress. The very thought that, somewhere inside her, she felt an attraction towards him would just be too much to bear.

Relief filled Erend’s chest when he finally reached the door of the inn. Aloy had moved on to playing with the collar of his tunic, which suited him just fine. The sitting room was quiet at this late hour, the fire in the hearth long extinguished. He carefully carried Aloy up the stairs, setting her on her feet in front of her room.

“Alright, there you go”

Aloy fumbled with her key, trying unsuccessfully to slide it into the key hole. She looked up at him, confused. “Hmmm, my key doesn’t seem to work.”

He pinched his lips together so that she wouldn’t see him smile, biting the inside of his lip. “Here, let me help you with that.” he offered, after she had tried and failed again to open the door. He took the key and unlocked the door, pushing it open.

“Thank you.” she said, more to the floor than to him, as she stumbled in to the room. Erend watched her fumbling with the buckle on her skirt and sighed. 

“Do you need help, Aloy?” he asked, almost dreading her response. He was going to have to undress her and put her to bed, wasn’t he? 

“Yes please.” she replied, dropped her hands in frustration.

Erend came in to the room, vowing to work as quickly as possible. He took a deep breath to steady himself and then undid the buckle on her skirt, letting it fall to the floor. He motioned for her to sit on the bed, watching as she plopped down unceremoniously. He knelt in front of her and untied her boots, sliding them off of her feet and tossing them aside. He helped her remove her beaded necklaces and scarf, and set them beside her skirt. “Arms up.” he said softly, and lifted her leather shirt up over her head. He added it to the pile with her other clothes. When she was wearing only her undertunic and leggings, he pulled back the blankets behind her and helped her into bed. He wrapped the blankets snuggly around her and looked down at her face. Her eyes were already beginning to close. 

“Goodnight Aloy.” he said, kissing her forehead gently. 

__________

The next morning, Erend waited in the sitting room for Aloy. He’d eaten his breakfast already, and was enjoying the quiet before his day began. Registration was today, and he was wondering about what waited for him down in the testing grounds.

Erend felt fine, having had less than two mugs of ale the night before. When Aloy eventually emerged from her room, she could not say the same. She squinted at the bright light that shone through the sitting room, and shielded her eyes. Erend smirked at her, which elicited a nasty glare in his direction.

“Good morning Aloy! Beautiful day, isn’t it?” Erend asked, unable to help himself. He was all too familiar with how she was feeling. 

Aloy grumbled something and sat on the bench across from him. 

“Would you care for some breakfast?” he continued, the smirk threatening to return.

“NO! Uh, I mean, no, thank you, I’m good.” was Aloy’s reply.

“I have to say, I am quite enjoying the fact that we’ve switched places today. Me, up with the sun and you, a grump who woke up late.” This earned him another glare.

“In all seriousness, I’ve been in your shoes too many times to count. Here, drink this, it’ll help.” He offered her a glass, which she drank greedily. She sputtered at the taste of the strong herbal concoction. 

“This is terrible. What is it?” she asked.

“That’s a tea, a special Oseram mixture, that helps when you’ve had too much brew. I know it’s disgusting, but I promise that it works. Just drink it, you’ll thank me later.”  
Aloy obeyed, reluctantly drinking the tea Erend had given her. 

Once she’d finished, they gathered their things and slowly made their way down to the testing grounds. Aloy was already beginning to feel better, her steps becoming lighter as they walked.

“See, I told you it would help.” Erend said, noticing the change in her.

“Yes, it did. Thank you Erend. I can’t believe how terrible I was feeling.” Erend nodded knowingly. He wondered whether Aloy would bring up the things she’s said the night before, but she never did. Whether it was because she couldn’t remember, or because she was too embarrassed, he couldn’t tell. 

When they got to the testing grounds, they headed first to the large table on the raised platform. Erend grabbed the box of parchment, some ink, and a few quills. “So, like we talked about yesterday - you’re in charge of taking registrations. Ask the questions, make any notes about the candidate that you feel are pertinent, and make note of which number you give them. I’ll be over there” he pointed to the side of the platform “watching and listening. Any last minute questions?”

“No, everything’s clear.” she replied. Erend took a small stack of parchments and set himself up in a little spot by the platform. His task for today was observation. What would people say and do when their guard was down?

The sun was at its highest point when the first of the competitors began to arrive. There were men and women, some older, some looking like they’d only just undergone the adulthood ceremony. But the message that Erend had sent with Avad’s messengers had been clear. Anyone and everyone who wished to be considered was welcome to compete.  
He watched as they filed towards Aloy. One by one, Aloy took their names, noted information about their preferred weapons, and any other pertinent skills that they may possess. She asked about their previous experience, their fight training, and more. Erend needed a complete picture of each of the competitors, to make sure that he was choosing the best candidates. He wasn’t necessarily looking for the biggest, most brainless brute – despite the fact that those words could be used to describe him, he thought to himself – he hoped to find someone who was well-rounded and loyal. If they didn’t know how to fix up battlefield injuries, well that was something that they could learn. 

Erend was pleased when he heard Aloy taking Lalia’s information. So this was the daughter of the man that they’d met in Pitchcliff. She was fairly small in stature, but seemed surefooted and agile. If she was properly trained, he thought, she should do well.

As the day wore on, more and more competitors arrived. There were people from his clan, which pleased him immensely. There were freebooters, which he was happy to see. It seemed like a really good mix of competitors, and the group was more than big enough to ensure that he could choose well.

Erend watched and listened, trying to get a feel for each competitor. Most didn’t know him, and those who did were smart enough not to let the others know. No one in the group knew Aloy, so most dismissed her as a simple assistant and paid her no mind. She used this to her advantage, and listened in as they spoke candidly about their expectations for the competition.

Several hours later, as the sky began to darken, Erend took the stage. He cleared his throat, and motioned for everyone to gather near the raised platform. 

“Welcome, competitors. I am Erend, Captain of the Vanguard for the 14th Sun King. I’ve gathered you all here to see if there are any among you who are qualified to become members of the Vanguard. 

The Vanguard are the best of the best, machine breakers and life takers to a one. 

Members of the vanguard are responsible for the safety of the 14th Sun King himself. He is a good man, a fair man, and is beloved by the Carja. He has brought peace to our land by overthrowing his father, putting an end to the Red Raids. It is in honour of our efforts in helping him take down the Mad Sun King that the Oseram have been chosen as his personal guards. We also help to oversee the security of Meridian, the Carja capital city and home of the Sun King.

If you think that our days are spent lounging around in a palace, you couldn’t be more wrong. Being a member of the vanguard is difficult, dirty work. It’s metal and muscle, all day, every day. It means going toe to toe with any threat, and never backing down. 

If this…” he grabbed his war hammer as he walked up to the nearby grazer dummy. With one powerful swing, he smashed its body. The training dummy exploded beneath his hammer, bits of wood raining down upon the crowd “scares you, then walk away now. There is no shame in recognizing that this life is not for you. 

As a vanguard, you must be prepared to take the life of another. You must be willing to stand in front of anyone or anything, be it an army of bandits or a charging thunderjaw, and fight to the death – theirs or yours. Make no mistake, you WILL suffer and bleed for this job. But there is no greater honour in the world. 

If you still think that you’re up to the task, meet back here at first light. Bring your weapons, and come dressed for battle. Tomorrow, we see what you’re made of.” With his final words still ringing in the competitors’ ears, Erend headed back to the village.

_________

Aloy quickly caught up to him, her arms loaded down with parchment. Each of the competitors had a profile, and Erend would need to review them all before morning. She walked alongside him for a few minutes before speaking.

“That speech was really great, Erend. It felt inspiring and grounding all at the same time.”

Erend looked at her, surprised. “Uh, thanks Aloy. I’m glad it had the desired effect.” They walked along for a bit before he continued. “So, what are your thoughts, after seeing the competitors today?”

“Well, there are a few who seem overly confident. I’m not sure if that’s nerves talking, or if they really think that highly of themselves.” She thought back to Bast, the night before the Proving, and the tongue lashing she’d given him then. He’d deserved it, but she was still saddened by his death. 

“I saw some of that too. I was thinking – do we want to have supper and then go to my room and compare notes? We can’t really talk openly down in the sitting room.” Erend asked, not quite sure where the idea had come from.

“Absolutely. Why don’t we just got straight up to your room, and eat our supper in there while we talk. It’ll be a late night as it is.”

She had a point. Erend agreed, and they made for the inn. Erend spoke to the innkeeper, requesting two meals be sent to his room, and they headed upstairs. They sat on his bed, facing each other, and spread the parchment out between them. They began comparing notes, discussing each candidate in turn. Two large bowls of a thick fish chowder were delivered to them, along with a large loaf of crusty bread still warm from the oven. They talked as they ate, Erend reminded of their evenings on the road as they traveled here. A sense of contentment settled in to his chest.

They talked late into the night, eventually moving from the candidates to Erend’s plans for the next day. It wasn’t until Aloy yawned that they realized the time. 

“It’s late, I’d better get to bed and let you get some sleep” she told him, gathering the parchments scattered around them. “It’ll be a long day tomorrow.” She paused, looking at him warmly. “Good night, Erend.”

“Good night, Aloy. See you in the morning” he called after her as she shut the door.

The next morning, Aloy almost bumped in to Erend as she was leaving her room. It was still dark, the first hints of light only just beginning to peak out above the mountains in the distance. They ate a quick breakfast and headed down to the testing grounds. Day one was about to begin.

The competitors arrived at the testing grounds shortly after them, and a mixture of nerves and excitement could be felt in the air. Aloy did a quick headcount. Three hadn’t shown up this morning. Erend’s speech must have made them reconsider. He really did have a way with words.

Erend stood in front of the crowd of competitors and explained how the day would unfold. They would start with ranged weapons. Anyone who was able to use a ranged weapon of any sort should be prepared to demonstrate their skills. Anyone who was not able to use a ranged weapon was not to worry – the vanguard needed a wide range of fighters, and the ability to use this or that weapon would not necessarily count against them. Once he was satisfied with ranged weapons, they’d move on to melee weapons. Again, competitors would be expected to demonstrate their skills with the weapons of their choice.

Aloy smiled as the first competitors grabbed their bows and headed towards the line that had been drawn. Erend had asked her to pay special attention to this part of the competition, as she was much more skilled with a bow than he was. A few of the competitors also had slings, she noted, but most of them had bows that were of a good enough quality, but nothing like what she had. She didn’t see anyone with specialized arrows of any sort, not even fire arrows. 

The competitors began firing towards the targets at the end of the range. Aloy was taking furious notes, watching for particularly difficult shots. She also noted the changes in the conditions, whether the wind picked up or changed directions. 

From circular targets, the competitors then moved on to moving targets. A series of targets of varying sizes swung from ropes, while others slid down a long metal bar from one point to another.

There was a pause during the competition while the moving targets were reset. Aloy had run down to the end of the range to get ready for another round when she heard Erend unleash an angry tirade. Something had him all worked up, and she wasn’t sure what. He’d been fine just a few minutes ago. Targets reset, she ran back towards him to see what the problem was.

“Sir” one of the competitors pleaded. Aloy recognized him as one of the cocky ones from the day before. He’d been bragging that he was a sure bet, a spot on the vanguard all but assured. “All I said was that I didn’t understand what these women are doing here. They can’t possibly do the job.”

Erend’s face was red, his fists clenched. He was usually such a gentle soul, but when he got mad – Aloy almost felt sorry for the boy. Almost.

“I will have you know” Erend yelled in his face, pushing him in the chest with his finger “that the greatest warriors that I have ever known have been WOMEN. I’ve served alongside them, so I know with absolute certainty that I could never, NEVER match them. If that is the attitude you have, boy, you should go home now. There is no place in the vanguard for that kind of thinking.” Erend stomped off, hoping to cool his temper. He was glad when Aloy came up beside him and put her hand on his arm. 

“The idea, the very idea….” Erend took a deep breath. “To think that Ersa couldn’t have done the job, that the fact she was a woman somehow disqualified her. It’s disgusting. She was much better than me, better than pretty much all of the rest of us combined.” Aloy stroked his arm softly, trying to soothe him. A few more deep breaths and Erend’s face began to return to its normal colour. Then he had an idea. “Aloy, I know that I said that you shouldn’t use your bow today, so that the competitors wouldn’t get nervous. But please….. Aloy, if you get the chance…” 

Aloy smiled. “I’ll grind that kid into the dirt.”

Erend’s face lit up with a mischievous smile. “You read my mind.” 

They headed back towards the competitors, who were jittery after what they had just witnessed. Erend was physically imposing, but he’d seemed nice enough. They had gotten a view of what it was like to get on the Captain’s bad side, and none of them wanted to be on the receiving end of his anger. 

The competitors resumed the moving target exercise, some obviously more practiced than others. For the final round of ranged shooting, competitors were lined up single file. Three targets, not much bigger than a rabbit, swung at the far end of the range.

Erend called out the instructions. “Competitors, going one at a time, you will each have ten seconds to hit all three targets.” The archers lined up reluctantly, the task seemingly impossible. One after the other, they tried and failed. Some of them managed to hit one of the targets. One was even able to hit two in the time provided. Finally, it was the turn of the last competitor – the boy that Erend had shouted at. Erend looked at Aloy out the side of his eye. She gave a slight nod – she was ready.

As expected, the boy was not able to hit the three targets. In fact, he didn’t even manage to hit one. 

“This is impossible!” he screamed in frustration. “Nobody can do that!”

From somewhere behind boy, three arrows were loosed in quick succession. He heard them whistling over his head, and saw the targets shake with the impact. Thud. Thud. Thud. Three arrows. Three targets – all perfect bullseyes, all in less than half of the time provided. It simply wasn’t possible.

The boy turned, as did every other competitor, their mouths agape as they watched Aloy slowly lower her bow and hook it onto her back. She sat back down at the long table, and returned to her note taking. Erend gave the boy a knowing smirk, watching him open and close his mouth like a dying fish. 

They moved on to melee weapons, the competitors suddenly giving Aloy a wide berth. Erend chuckled to himself as he watched them move around like nervous grazers, almost afraid to make eye contact with her. He remembered feeling that way the first time he saw what she could do. Then he remembered what he’d said the night he first met her – that he ‘could give a Nora warmaiden like you a run for her money.’ He shuddered in embarrassment. By the forge, that felt like a lifetime ago.

The sun had begun to set when Erend finally called a halt to the activities. “Tomorrow, we begin sparring. I want to see you all in one on one scenarios, and we’ll see how you work in groups. First light.” With that, he waved his hand to dismiss them. The exhausted competitors turned and began to stagger up the path towards the village. 

Erend hung back, and went to go sit at the table on the raised platform. He leaned the handle of his hammer against the edge of the table, then took off his gloves and rubbed his eyes. He heard Aloy as she plunked herself into the chair beside him.

“What a day.” he said.

“You can say that again.”

Erend leaned back into his chair and wove his fingers together on top of his head, resting his arms. He heard the creak of Aloy’s chair as she shifted, and they looked up at the setting sun. They watched as it sunk, enjoying the quiet moment together. 

“So, do we want to go back to your room again?” Aloy asked, not realizing how she sounded.

Erend did a bit of a double take, knowing what she meant but still surprised at the way she’d said it.

“Uh, yah, if that’s OK with you. I’ve got to talk to Olrick really quickly, but that should only take a few minutes.”

“Sounds good.” was all Aloy said.

They began to walk back slowly, enjoying the relaxed pace after a full day. 

“Aloy, I just wanted to thank you for all of your help with this. Not only would it be so much harder without you, but I really appreciate your insights. You see things that I don’t, and I’m happy to have your perspective on things.”

Aloy gave a quick nod and looked down at the ground. Erend knew that she had never been very comfortable with praise, but he wanted her to know that he wasn’t taking her help for granted.

They swung by the freebooter barracks, which were on the outskirts of the village. Erend talked to Olrick and a few other freebooters, to see if anyone wanted to help with sparring drills tomorrow in exchange for a few shards. He had quite a few takers, and let them know what time to come meet him at the testing grounds. He bid them goodnight, waving off their pleas to come drinking with them. “I’m in charge, remember? Lots of responsibilities. My day’s not done yet, not even close.”

Olrick flicked his eyes back and forth between Aloy and Erend. He knew Erend well enough to read his body language, and his body language was shouting. He was off to spend time with Aloy, of that there was no doubt. Not that Olrick could blame him. He’d spent plenty of time waving off invitations to come drinking – many of them from Erend – in favour of wooing a love interest. And there wasn’t a man or woman in The Claim who had ever caught his interest the way that Aloy had ensnared Erend’s. 

They made their way back to the inn, Erend catching the innkeeper’s eye and signaled that they’d be eating in his room again tonight. Tonight, and likely every night for the remainder of the competition, he thought to himself. They made their way upstairs, and flopped down onto his bed. Erend kicked off his boots and slid into a sitting position at the head of the bed. He positioned his pillow behind his back to make himself more comfortable, while Aloy propped herself against the wall and tucked her feet beneath her.  
They immediately launched into the run-down of the day, barely pausing when their food arrived. Erend made more notes between mouthfuls, capturing their thoughts and impressions of each competitor. He had decided not to make any cuts in the first few days of testing, to allow him to get a proper feel for everyone, but there were a few that were already making their way onto that list.

Erend hand stilled, and he looked up at Aloy. “Can I just say, the look on that kid’s face when you shot the targets, that was priceless.” He began to laugh, a laugh that soon shook his whole body. 

“I know! I know!” Aloy said between fits of laughter. “He was just…” She did her best imitation of him, her eyes wide and her mouth moving soundlessly. Erend nodded, unable to stop laughing long enough to speak. “He looked like a fish!” she added.

“That’s what I said!” Erend exclaimed, and they both collapsed onto the bed, holding their stomachs and gasping for air. When the laughter finally subsided, Aloy turned her head to look at Erend. He had tears streaming down his face, which he wiped away with the back of his hand. 

“The people downstairs must think that we’re mad.” Aloy said, trying to be serious again.

“Let them.” Erend said, looking back at her.

After finishing their discussions and dividing up the tasks for the next day, Aloy bid Erend goodnight and returned to her room. But Erend didn’t go to sleep right away, despite the hour. He laid in his bed for a while, thinking about how much he enjoyed being with Aloy. She brought a lightness to his life that he hadn’t had before. He didn’t care what they were doing, or whether or not they were talking. He was happiest when Aloy was by his side.

Day two of testing was much like Day one. Erend and Aloy watched each of the competitors, this time with sparring. They did a series of one on one exercises, some with a weapon and some without. He had them fight four on four, watching how they worked together. Did they help one another? Did they watch each other’s back? Did they use each of their strengths to their maximum potential? A few of the competitors really began to shine, setting themselves apart from the rest. Erend was happy to see that Lalia was among them.

In the afternoon, the experienced freebooters arrived and sparring continued. The dynamic changed with their arrival, a few of the competitors becoming more nervous and hesitant when faced with a more experienced rival. Olrick, for his part, seemed to take special pride in beating up each of the competitors he faced.

“That’s enough for today” Erend called out, the sun having already set. “Back here at first light.”

The competitors were so exhausted and beat up that they were nearly dragging themselves up the path to the village. Erend watched them go, pleased with the way the day had gone. He could see the inexperience in some of them – if they thought this day had been hard, they’d obviously never seen a day of real battle.

Olrick walked over to where Erend and Aloy were standing, gathering their stacks of parchment. They had both been writing furiously all day, not wanting to miss any details.  
“I don’t suppose that either of you will be joining us for drinks tonight?” Olrick asked as Erend passed him the shards he’d earned that day. “My treat.” he added, waving the newly acquired shards.

Erend just held up the thick bundle of parchment, evidence that he still had a lot of work to do. Being Captain didn’t always allow lots of time for fun. 

They all walked together to the village. The freebooters, their pockets now full of shards, made a beeline for the tavern. Aloy and Erend turned towards the inn, another long night of discussions in front of them.

Day three, the competitors arrived to find stacks of coloured cloth on the long table.

“Competitors, today I want to see how you react in battle. You will be divided in to two groups of equal size. Each group will be assigned a colour, and each member of your group will be wearing a piece of cloth of that colour.” Erend paused to make sure that the instructions were understood before continuing. “At either end of the training field is a dummy. This dummy represents your king. Red group, you have to protect the red king at all costs. Blue group, you must protect the blue king at all costs. In order to win the game, you must successfully tag the opposite team’s king with your team’s colour. If your king is killed, you will spend the night here, on the field, running drills.  
I want to make myself perfectly clear. This is a real fight, with real weapons, and very real risks. I expect that many of you will get hurt, some of you may be seriously injured. Death, even, is not an impossibility. If you are not prepared to risk injury or death in the pursuit of a position with the vanguard, you may choose to leave now. If you stay, know that the testing only gets more difficult from here. As I told you before, being in the vanguard is dangerous and dirty work.” 

A murmur worked its way through the crowd. Reality was beginning to strike and a few meekly made their escape, no longer up for the challenge.

Erend divided up the teams from those that remained, calling out numbers at random as Aloy handed out the ribbons of coloured cloth.

“Teams. You will have thirty minutes to strategize. At the sound of the gong, the battle begins. Good luck.” 

Each of the teams made their way to their ‘king’, the stuffed dummy they were risking themselves to protect. Erend and Aloy each took a seat at the table on the raised platform and watched the teams as they strategized, observing the dynamic between the different members of each team.

Erend had discussed strategy with Aloy last night, planning out the next couple of days. He was relying on her for a few key elements of his plan, and they briefly talked it over again while the teams were busy. As Erend walked towards the bell, Aloy slipped away to get ready for her first task.

The thirty minutes were over much too soon, and both teams panicked when they saw Erend walking towards the gong. It rang out over the field when he struck it, and the teams immediately shrieked and began running towards one another.

Erend took his position on the platform, giving himself the best vantage point from which to see the entire battlefield. He made note of the things that he saw, both strong points and costly mistakes. He had never really watched a battle before, he’d only ever been in the middle of one. It felt strange to observe rather than participate, his skin itching to launch himself into the fray.

The battle between the competitors raged on for hours. One team would gain a bit of ground, then lose it again; gain an advantage only to suffer a loss somewhere else. Back and forth across the wide field they fought. The sun crossed the sky, neither team willing to yield an inch.

Finally, the battle began to turn. The red team was gaining ground, little by little. The blue team defended their king with everything they had, but one of the members of the red team managed to slip through their guard and smashed their dummy. A loud cheer went up from the red team, who ran into the middle of the field to celebrate their victory together. The blue team was in for a very long night, they thought.

What they hadn’t noticed was the sniper hiding in the trees beside the field. Aloy was perched on a high branch, waiting. When she saw the red team running to the centre, she seized the moment and took her shot. A fire arrow arced through the air and struck the red team’s dummy in the head, immediately setting it alight. It took a moment for anyone from the red team to realize what had happened.

The gong sounded again, drawing everyone’s attention back to Erend.

“It looks like both kings have been killed, which means that there is no winner. You will ALL be doing drills tonight.”

“But Sir, that’s not fair! The blue team didn’t kill our king.”

“And yet, your king is dead. None of you noticed the threat, not one of you waited until you were sure that the king was safe, before you abandoned your posts to celebrate. Your king is not dead because the blue team won. Your king is dead because you failed.” His harsh words had the desired effect. “In order to make sure that the lesson gets into your thick skulls, you will all run the treeline.” 

The treeline? Surely they hadn’t heard right. That would take hours!

“Sir, do you mean that you want us to run around the entire treeline? Including the lake?” 

“Am I not speaking clearly? I said treeline, I meant treeline. ALL of it.” The competitors groaned. The area that had been cleared of trees stretched for several kilometers in every direction around the village, and up around the lake. 

Grumbling, a few of the competitors dropped their weapons and began to remove their heavy metal breastplates.

“DID I TELL YOU TO REMOVE YOUR ARMOUR?” Erend screamed at them. “No, I did not. Put on your armour and pick up your weapons.” He waited until they complied, then yelled some more. “Now move your asses! The trail doesn’t get any shorter with you standing here!”

One by one, the competitors began to run, their heavy armour rattling. Erend and Aloy trailed behind them, watching to make sure that no one was cutting any corners. Erend had asked the freebooters to keep an eye out at certain key locations, and report back if they noticed anyone cheating. Once they were out of sight, Erend and Aloy turned back towards the testing grounds. They had a quick meal of bread, dried meats, and cheeses, taking a moment to relax before the long night ahead of them began. 

As soon as Aloy finished her last bite, she stood and grabbed her weapons. “On to part two.” she said. She began to run towards the woods, her legs rejoicing at the movement after hours spent perching in a tree. Erend’s eyes trailed after her as she ran. 

It was a few hours before the competitors started to stagger back in to the testing grounds. Some struggled more than others, but it wasn’t long before they were all assembled in front of Erend again. 

“Captain, Sir, when will be get to eat supper? I’m starving.” said one of the competitors, her hand on her stomach.

“Battles don’t stop because you’re hungry!” Erend shouted. He was beginning to feel like a dull roar was the lowest volume his voice had today. “You can’t call a time out during an attack because you want to take a nap or grab a snack! You don’t get to decide when the fighting stops. So there will be no supper for any of you tonight, nor will you get any sleep. I need to know that you can keep going, even when you feel like you’re about to collapse. The Sun King’s life depends on your ability to be at your best, even when you’re at your worst.

So, you are all going to show me what you can do when you’re tired and hungry. In that field over there” Erend pointed to a smaller training area off to the side, which had been all but ignored since he and Aloy had set it up several days before “are a series of obstacles. You will all run those obstacles. And then you will run them again, this time carrying a weighted dummy. Then you will run it a third time, while carrying a dummy, as arrows are fired around you. You will continue to run it until you can each successfully evacuate your dummy from the field of battle, unharmed.”

The competitors looked over at the field apprehensively. They could see a series of tall wooden walls, nets, and piles of boulders. What they couldn’t yet see were the pits of mud, uneven bars, and other obstacles that would test their abilities to the limit.

Erend shouted at them to get moving, and off they went. The competitors spent hours running the obstacles, getting hung up on this or tangled in that. The addition of the dummies added a layer of complexity, and the volleys of arrow fired by the freebooters added yet another unwelcome layer. 

Throughout the night, Erend yelled and cursed at them. They should quit, he said, it wasn’t worth it. He berated them as they shifted heavy boulders and other debris out of their paths, screamed every time they stumbled. He didn’t enjoy doing it, but his life and the life of his entire vanguard may depend on the mettle of the people he chose – he needed to choose wisely.

He wasn’t surprised when the first of the competitors began to give up. As the night wore on, one competitor after the other threw up their hands in defeat and left the field. It was as he’d hoped, he was weeding out the weakest ones. He thought back to the battle with HADES, and to the exhausting days that followed as they pulled Meridian back from the brink. He wasn’t asking anything of these competitors that he himself had not given, many times over. 

Erend was glad to see that Lalia was still in the field, sticking it out. She was skilled enough, a well-rounded fighter. If she had the moxie, she may well be one of the ones that he chose. He was even happier to see when, as the first rays of the sun began to peek out, the cocky boy, the one who thought that women couldn’t hack it, left the field. Good riddance, Erend thought. You were never vanguard material to begin with.

The sun had almost risen when Erend noticed Aloy standing in the treeline. She nodded to him, and turned back into the trees. After she’d disappeared, Erend turned his attention back to the remaining competitors. The last one was finally dragging his dummy towards the finish line, the last of his strength seeming to seep from his body as he pushed it safely across the line. The competitors cheered loudly, their energy returning momentarily. But it didn’t last long, and they all flopped on to the ground at Erend’s feet, completely spent.

“Competitors! Make your way to the testing field for your next assessment!” A loud groan rose up from the crowd, but they all heaved themselves up and trudged towards the main testing area. Erend took the time to thank the freebooters that had been firing arrows and surveying the running path, and he paid them the shards they’d been promised.  
As he walked up behind the group, quickly catching up, Erend did a quick headcount. Half. Not too bad, he thought to himself. The group was half the size it was at registration, and he was seeing a lot of positive qualities in those that remained. His choice would likely end up being a difficult one, which was not the worst position to be in.  
The competitors gathered in the centre of the field and awaited their instructions. When Aloy emerged from the trees behind them, they grew nervous. Her again – what would she do this time?

Aloy went to stand beside Erend. They gave one another a knowing smile, then turned to face the group.

“Competitors” Erend began “today, it is kill or be killed. Good luck.”

With this, Aloy whistled. From the trees emerged a pack of ravagers, nearly as many as there were competitors. They stalked towards the group assembled in front of them. When Aloy gave the signal, they snarled and lunged towards the terrified competitors, who were standing frozen in the centre of the field.

Once the first competitor snapped back to reality and took a swing at the nearest ravager, the field became a madhouse. Snarling machines, firing round after round. Terrified men and women, who had no choice but to find their courage. Hammers and axes swung, arrows swished through the air. Erend watched as chunks of metal flew through the air and landed with a thud on the ground. He also saw the sprays of blood that arced through the air, whenever a competitor received a particularly nasty blow.

Running on no sleep and even less food, the exhausted competitors still managed to hold their ground. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the last of the ravagers fell. The battle had taken its toll, though, as Erend looked around and saw blood and broken bodies scattered around. But they’d made it through. They were a tough bunch.  
“Competitors, well done. You will have three hours to attend to your wounds, eat, and sleep. Testing resumes at midday.”

If they could have cheered, no doubt they would have. A few of the more injured competitors made their way to the healer’s tent that had been set up behind the raised platform. Those that had not suffered any major injuries seemed to collapse onto the ground, sleeping where they fell. Erend knew that feeling, he’d done that very thing himself after they had defeated the Mad Sun King. Good, he thought, they were finally getting somewhere.

Erend and Aloy ducked in to the trees, and slipped into their tent. Aloy had set it up when she returned with the ravagers, making sure that it was just out of sight so that they wouldn’t be disturbed. It had been a long night for them too.

Erend collapsed onto his bedding, not even stopping to take off his boots. He grumbled a quick thanks to Aloy, and instantly fell asleep. Aloy wasn’t far behind him.

Aloy awoke some time later, when she felt Erend bumping against her as he sat up. He let out a loud sigh and rubbed his hand over his mohawk.

“So, how does it look out there?” she asked.

“Pretty good, actually. There are a few that I’ve got my eye on. There are a few more that could be contenders, with a bit more training.”

Aloy smiled. She reached over to a sack that she had stashed in the corner and pulled out some food. She handed some to Erend, who began to devour it greedily.  
“I don’t know if you know this, Erend, but being a Captain really suits you.” Aloy said to him. He responded with a look of incredulity, his mouth still full of food.  
Aloy laughed. “No, really! You look like you were born to be a leader. You just fit, up at the front of a crowd, all eyes on you. And you seem to know just what to say to people….you almost made ME want to join the vanguard!”

Erend looked dumbfounded, but laughed when Aloy mentioned joining the vanguard. “Well, we wouldn’t be here if you’d said that before! You can join the vanguard anytime you want.” He knew that she was joking, but he wasn’t. All she would have to do is say the word, and she would have a spot in the ranks. No, forget that, Erend thought. His last act as Captain would be to make her the new Captain of the Vanguard.

They finished their meal, eating quickly. The competitors weren’t the only ones who were foregoing food and sleep these days. Erend crawled out of the tent and stretched, trying to work the kinks out of his sore muscles. He headed for the testing grounds, ready for the next round.

The participants, battered and bruised, gathered before him and waited for his instructions.

“This afternoon, I want to see how you make out when you are outnumbered. Groups of five competitors will try to defend their king” he motioned to a stack of training dummies similar to the ones used in the battle the day before “from an attack by the rest of the group. I will divide you all into groups of five, and then you will have thirty minutes to strategize. At the end of thirty minutes, Aloy and I will meet with each group to hear their strategy. Then we’ll take turns, each group putting their strategy to the test.”

Aloy and Erend quickly divided up the groups, as only twenty competitors remained. They took their usual seats at the long table beside the field, and watched. This time, the strategizing went much more smoothly. Satisfied that the groups were on the right path, Erend and Aloy began to compare their observations of the last day and a half. Erend was particularly curious about the battle between the red and blue teams the day before, since Aloy had had a unique vantage point from her perch in the tree. 

Once the thirty minutes were up, Erend and Aloy circulated among the groups to hear their strategy for protecting their king. Erend thought that this was the best approach, to prevent one group from copying the successes of another. Once Erend moved towards the gong to begin the exercise, Aloy slipped away again. She had one more task to complete for Erend before they were done.

The green team went first, and as Erend expected their strategy was a complete failure. They were overwhelmed within a half hour. The blue team fared a bit better, but their strategy hadn’t accounted for attacks from the air. The red team was able to hold off the onslaught for almost two hours before succumbing, which impressed Erend tremendously. 

The yellow team was the last to defend their king and Erend was eager to see whether their unique approach would work. It was a combination of offence and defense, escape and evade mixed with their own attack on the incoming troop. Erend watched as it unfolded, as one of the members of the team slipped away with the king while the rest of the team created a distraction. He had to admit, it was a good plan. The four who remained behind would have been killed if it were a real scenario, but in the end their king escaped unharmed and vanished into the woods. 

Erend motioned for the group to gather around him. “Competitors, well done. Talk to me about your strategies, what went as planned and what you’d do differently next time.” Maybe I AM suited to this Captain thing, he thought as he called on each group to talk about the success or failure of their strategy. Aloy’s right, it feels good to be up here.  
After the group had finished discussing the day, he dismissed them. The sun had set about an hour before, and everyone was exhausted. “First light” he said. “Bring your very best tomorrow, it’s your last chance to impress me.”

Erend made his way back to the long table, surprised to see Aloy already sitting there. He hadn’t expected her back so soon.

“You got what you needed?” Aloy nodded in response. “Well, that was quick. Come on, let’s go back to the inn. I need a hot meal and a soft bed. I feel like I’ve been run over by a thunderjaw.”

Aloy took his hand and began to playfully pull him towards the village. He let her drag him along for a short ways before quickening his step and walking beside her.

They walked side by side, too tired to talk. Aloy watched Erend’s stiff movements out of the corner of her eye. It was clear that his muscles were sore, having spent days on end watching every motion on the field like a glinthawk. 

They quickly ate a bowl of meaty stew in the sitting area of the inn before heading upstairs. Aloy paused in front of her door, as if wanting to say something.

“No discussions tonight, Aloy, I’m too tired. Tomorrow night I’ll need your input, without question. But I just don’t have it in me right now.”

“What? Oh, no, that’s not it.” Aloy said, looking confused. “I was wondering if you’d sleep better if I rubbed your shoulders for a while. You seem so stiff, I can’t see how you’ll be able to sleep well tonight.”

Erend’s pulse quickened. Had he heard right? Had she just offered to massage his tired muscles? With anyone else, he would have said yes immediately, the tightness in his back and shoulders making his head ache. But with Aloy? Could he really have Aloy rubbing his skin like that, would he be OK?

Aloy looked at him expectantly, and Erend answered without thinking. “Sure, Aloy, that sounds great.” The words were out of his mouth before he even realized what he’d said. But he’d said them out loud, and they couldn’t be taken back now. He unlocked the door of his room and waved Aloy inside.

Erend closed the door behind him and leaned his war hammer on the wall beside the door. He unbuckled his breastplate, letting it thump loudly on the floor behind him. His chaps were next, their thick leather muffling the sound of the metal hitting the floor. He kicked off his heavy boots, then unwound the scarf from around his neck. Finally, he reached between his shoulders and grabbed the back of his tunic. He pulled the tunic forward over his head, shedding it in a single movement. He combed his fingers through his mohawk as he walked over to the bed and sat down.

Aloy reached into the medicine pouch on her belt and pulled out a small jar. 

“What’s that?” Erend asked. He hadn’t seen her use that one before.

“It’s a balm especially for sore muscles” she said “it’s got a few different plant oils, along with some freeze rime root for numbing and wild ember for pain and stiffness.” Aloy knelt on to the bed beside Erend and then slid around behind him. He heard her open the jar, followed by the sound of her rubbing her palms together. He felt her lay her hands gently against his upper back, and he couldn’t stifle the little moan that escaped his lips.

“Long day, I know, me too.” Aloy said. 

As Aloy worked her hands across Erend’s wide shoulders and down his back, she couldn’t help but marvel. He’s so muscular, she thought. His skin had almost no give beneath her fingers, it was like he was made of stone. She could see the muscles move beneath his skin as he shifted on the bed, and she imagined what he’d look like swinging his war hammer. Aloy gave her head a little shake. What was she doing? This was Erend, her best friend. She refocused on her task.

Erend shifted again. Relax, he thought to himself as his body responded to Aloy’s touch. Just relax, it’s only a massage. He tried not to think about her tiny hands as they glided down his back. He tried not to focus on the feel of her fingers as they slid over his shoulder and down onto his chest. He didn’t want to feel the soft puff of her breath against his skin, or listen to the creak of the bed as she moved. But he couldn’t help it.

Aloy shuffled around to his side and poured some more balm onto her hands. She rubbed them together quickly, then wrapped her hands around his bicep. At first, it was only her thumbs that moved in a circular motion, but soon her whole hand was working its way up and down his arm. He closed his eyes, reveling in the feeling, and didn’t open them until she stopped at his wrist. He opened one eye and looked over at her. She was holding his hand in hers, looking at it in the most intense way. She lightly brushed her fingers against the thick calluses on his palm then resumed her massage. She rubbed her thumbs into his wrist, making him sigh with contentment. 

Aloy moved around to his other arm, once again pouring balm into her hands. As she began rubbing his bicep, she paused and ran her finger along one of his marks. He watched her, enjoying the look of fascination on her face, the way her eyes sparkled. He flexed his bicep, just a little, and she looked up at him in surprise. He grinned at her, making her laugh. That was his favourite sound in the whole world, he decided. The sound of Aloy’s laugh.

“They really are beautiful, you know.” Aloy said as she ran her fingertip along the raised lines of his marks, tracing the curves of each one. He hoped that she hadn’t noticed him shiver at the intimacy of her touch.

Aloy resumed her massage, working her way down his arm. 

“There.” she said as she finished. “All done. I hope that will help you sleep better.”

“Thank you, Aloy, I really appreciate this. I feel much better now.”

“Not a problem.” Aloy said, placing her hand on his shoulder. “Next time, you can do me.”

Erend didn’t know quite what to say to that. His eyes followed her across the room as she made her way to the door and bid him good night. He nodded and lay down on his bed as she shut the door behind her.

Oh Aloy, he thought, if you only knew the things I’d do to you. 

________

Erend slept so soundly that Aloy had to wake him the next morning. Their breakfast was quick, as they were both eager to get down to the testing grounds. It was the final day of testing, and there were a few things that Aloy needed to double check before they could start.

The competitors were gathering in front of Erend when Aloy emerged from the trees at the side of the field. They were immediately nervous – the redhead scared them, and they never knew what to expect with her. She came to stand beside the Captain.

“Ready?” he asked her. She gave a quick nod, which made the competitors even more nervous. What trick did she have up her sleeve this time? 

“Competitors, today will be your final test. This test will be done individually. To keep things fair, these freebooters here” Erend motioned to the men and women standing behind him “will stay with the group in the junior training field. We’ve set up blinds there, so none of you will be able to see the testing field. You will receive further instructions when you come forward for testing.” 

Erend looked around at the group, looking into the eyes of each of the competitors. When he had decided that they were ready, he called out. “Antro, you’re up first. The rest of you, get out of here.”

The rest of the competitors followed the freebooters to the field where the youngest Oseram trained. Erend waited until they’d turned the corner and were well out of sight before waving the young competitor forward.

“Ok, Antro, your final test. You’ve done well so far, and I have confidence that you will do well today. You are to go into the centre of the field and stand on the mark we’ve put on the ground. You will stand exactly on that mark, you will draw your weapon, and you will not move until I give the order. Your feet will not move, your arms will not swing, unless I tell them to. Are we clear?” 

“Yes sir.” Antro replied, the shake in his voice giving away his nervousness.

“Just follow orders and you’ll be fine.” Erend said reassuringly.

Antro made his way out onto the field, located the mark on the ground and planted his feet. He withdrew his hammer, grasping it in front of him, and took a deep breath.  
Erend watched the young man’s chest rise and fall as he slowly let out his breath. He was ready. Erend looked at Aloy and gave a little nod. Aloy activated her focus.

From the trees on the far side of the field, there came a rumble. Erend could see Antro’s jaw working as he gritted his teeth, steadying his nerves. Their heads all turned when a behemoth came crashing through the trees, charging towards Antro. As the massive machine barreled towards the young man, Erend could see his legs twitching. But to his credit, Antro did not move. His feet remained planted firmly on the ground, his knees slightly bent. 

The behemoth was fast approaching the competitor standing in the field. Antro’s heart raced, fear coursing through his veins; his breath was fast and shallow. When was the Captain going to give the order? He trusted that the Captain knew what he was doing. He’d be fine if he followed orders, he remembered, and the order that he was given was to stay still. His mind screamed at him to run, every fibre of his being wanting desperately to escape, but Antro only clenched his jaw. He shut his eyes tight, saying a silent goodbye to his family. Don’t move don’t move don’t move don’t move…..

The behemoth skidded to a halt, stopping less than a hammer’s width from Antro. He could hear the whirring noises of the machine, a cloud of dust around him. His whole body shook as the adrenaline pumped through him. 

“Antro” he heard the Captain yell across the field “lower your weapon and come here.”

Antro complied, his wobbly legs slowly carrying him back across the field. He noticed the redheaded woman tap beside her ear, and then he heard the behemoth slowly begin to lumber back into the trees. Wait, was she….was she controlling it? How was that possible?

When Antro was finally standing in front of the Captain, he could see the pride on Erend’s face. He gave a shaky smile, and Erend laughed.

“Well done, Antro. You’ve not only proven that you are brave, but that you have the ability to follow my orders without question. The Sun King’s life, my life, and all of the lives of the vanguard depend on people doing what they’re told when they’re told to do it. You showed trust in me, young man. Well done.”

Antro beamed at the praise, but still wasn’t quite able to talk. 

“Alright, why don’t you head back in to the village and rest up. I’ll be announcing the results tomorrow.” Erend told him, waving him off.

Antro nodded and turned to go, his legs a little more stable now.

Once the young man was out of earshot, Erend turned to Aloy. “By the forge, that was something!” he exclaimed. He knew that Aloy had full control over the behemoth, but if Antro had failed to follow orders, if he’d attacked the machine, it would have begun to defend itself. It’s possible that Antro might have killed it, but it’s just as likely that the behemoth would have killed the young man. He hoped that the rest of the remaining competitors trusted him as much as Antro did.

But it was not to be. One by one, the competitors were brought to the testing grounds, and one by one they faced a charging behemoth. More than a few turned and ran from their spot, ignoring the order they’d been given in favour of saving themselves. One competitor managed to hold her ground, but couldn’t keep herself from swinging her war axe at the charging beast. Erend could only watch as the behemoth pounded her in to the ground, crushing her bones. If she lived, and that in itself was unlikely, she’d never again have full use of her arm. By the time the last competitor had faced the behemoth, only six had managed to obey Erend’s orders.

In all, Erend was pleased with the outcome. He wasn’t surprised at the number of competitors who had run from the beast, he knew that the loyalty demanded by the vanguard was a rare find.

Aloy tapped her temple, ordering the behemoth to stop in the middle of the field. She turned to Erend and looked at him with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

“What?” he asked, not sure what to make of the look she was giving him.

“Well, I was just thinking. We’ve spent days here, standing on the side of the field, watching other people fight. Wanna blow off some steam?” she asked, looking back towards the behemoth.

“Absolutely.” Erend replied with a grin. He reached for his hammer and charged into the field. Behind him, Aloy nocked a tearblast arrow and took aim. This was going to be fun.

__________

It didn’t take long for Erend and Aloy to drop the behemoth. They were at ease, fighting side by side. They also knew one another’s fighting style well enough to anticipate what the other would do, almost reading each other’s minds. 

When the machine fell, Erend looked over at Aloy and gave a triumphant whoop, thrusting his hammer to the sky. The dust settling around her did little to dull her smile. It was like his grey eyes were dancing, she thought. It made her happy to see him so happy.

They slowly made their way back to the village, enjoying the sunshine. Erend could feel the weight of his decision upon him, and he wanted to put it off just a while longer. But it wasn’t something that could be put off forever. They inevitably arrived back at the inn, after having taken the long way around town. They headed up to Erend’s room, and the stack of notes that waited for them there. This was going to be a difficult choice.

Erend took his usual spot at the head of the bed, tucking the pillow behind him. Aloy sat beside him, her back leaning on the wall.

They easily dismissed the competitors that had failed the final test. None of their other skills mattered if they couldn’t be relied upon to follow orders, they reasoned. That left them with six. They spent the next several hours discussing each candidate in turn, turning back to their notes to compare the results of the various trials. 

Two platefuls of smoked fish and crusty bread were brought up to them by the innkeeper at some point during the evening, and were quickly devoured. Aloy couldn’t help but think about how much she would miss the smoky flavours of the food in The Claim when they went back to Meridian.

They continued to debate, none of the candidates strong enough to be a clear yes, but none of them weak enough to be easily dismissed. Each one brought something unique to the mix, and Erend was having a difficult time deciding which elements were more important.

Finally, Aloy asked something that hadn’t occurred to Erend. “Well, do you absolutely HAVE to have only four? Can you bring all six to Meridian for training, help them to develop?”

Bring all six to Meridian? Erend considered it. Whoever he chose would need further training before being ready to stand with the vanguard anyway, as none of them were fully ready yet. Why not train six, instead of four? Maybe further training would make the final choice clearer. Maybe Avad would agree to having six junior vanguard. It was hard to say, but it sounded like a potential solution to the impasse they were facing.

“That’s an interesting idea, Aloy.” Erend said, yawning. It was clear that he was ready to go to sleep. “I’ll chew on that, really give it some thought. It’s a much better plan than the one I was considering.”

“What was that?” Aloy asked as she rose from the bed.

Erend smirked. “Well, I was planning on finding some dice and…” 

Aloy cut him off with a scoff. “Good night, Erend.” she said, her tone playfully scolding him. She walked across the room and shut the door behind her.  
“Good night Aloy.” he replied softly.

The next morning, Erend rose a little later than usual. He had been up before dawn every day since the competition began, but this morning he could take it easy. He was going to deliver his decision at midday, so he was in no rush.

When he went down to the sitting room for breakfast, the innkeeper caught his eye, waving him over. 

“I’ll bring your breakfast out in a minute, but I thought that you should have this right away. It arrived early this morning.” the innkeeper told him, handing him a scroll.  
Erend looked at the scroll in his hands. It was a message from Avad. He wasn’t expecting anything, and a sense of dread filled his chest. What was this about?

Erend sat at the large table and unrolled the scroll. The message was short, but Erend still reread it several times. He dropped the scroll on to the table and watched as it curled back into its usual shape. 

Aloy came in as he sat staring at the scroll in front of him. She’d been out talking to merchants, getting ready for their departure the next day. She saw Erend sitting at the table waiting for his breakfast, and went to sit with him.

“What is it, Erend?” she said, her voice filled with concern when she saw the look on his face. “Something’s wrong. Tell me what’s wrong.”

He pushed the scroll across the table towards her, and she read it quietly. It was from Avad, letting Erend know that the date for Dervahl’s sentencing and execution had been set. Avad wanted him to know that he was free to attend, if he wanted to.

“Do you think you’ll go?” Aloy asked softly. 

“Of course I’ll go. Just because I didn’t crush his skull doesn’t mean that I don’t want to watch his skull get crushed. That bastard killed my sister.”

“Would you like me to go with you? Or would you prefer to be alone?” Aloy asked, unsure.

Erend didn’t hesitate. “If you would be willing to come with me, I would really appreciate having you there.” He looked up at her, his eyes filled with sadness.


	6. Home

The competitors had been overjoyed at Erend’s announcement, that the six that had been successful in the final test would be traveling to Meridian for further training and evaluation. They weren’t vanguard yet, but it was within their grasp. Erend was thankful for Aloy’s suggestion, and he knew that he had made the right choice in following her advice. Erend had sent a scroll to Avad that morning, to let him know about the results and to confirm that he would be going to Dervahl’s execution.

Now, all that was left was to pack their things and head towards Mainspring. It would be several days before Dervahl’s sentencing, but Erend wanted to make a small detour first.  
On their way out of the inn, Olrick tried to convince Erend to stay in Longlake one more night, to drink ale on the beach with him and the rest of the freebooters. But Erend wasn’t in the mood. He promised to stop back in Longlake on the way back to Meridian, but they were going to Mainspring and he wanted to get going. Olrick was disappointed, but he understood. He’d known Ersa as well, and knew how close she and Erend had been. He bid his friend farewell, giving him a big hug, and sent him on his way.

Erend shouldered his pack and walked towards Aloy, who was already standing on the path waiting. Together, they headed north.

___________

Erend was quiet all afternoon, his mind spinning. Aloy walked silently beside him, understanding that he needed this time to think. When the sun hung low in the sky, they found a spot to camp and each completed their nightly rituals. They still hadn’t spoken a word since leaving Longlake.

Later, as they sat around the campfire eating their supper, Erend finally felt ready to talk.

“Sorry I’ve been so quiet all day, I’ve had a lot on my mind.”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about, Erend. I understand.” 

Erend gave her a small smile. He was thankful that she had offered to come with him. Standing by himself beside Ersa’s pyre had been the most difficult thing he’d ever had to do. His clan had been nearby, but he had still felt lost and completely alone in the world. He couldn’t imagine feeling alone with Aloy by his side.

“Listen, Aloy, I was thinking. We don’t have to be in Mainspring for a few days, and I thought that maybe we could go visit Ersa.”

“Of course, Erend. Whatever you need.”

“You don’t mind the detour?” he asked, worried that he was imposing too much, asking this of her.

“No, absolutely not.” she said, her tone of voice making it clear that she was sincere. “Actually, I’d like to have the chance to pay my respects, if that’s alright with you. I never got to know her, not directly, but I feel like I know her a little, through you.” Aloy looked at him, her face filled with compassion. “She was the most important person in the world to you, Erend. And you are the most important person in the world to me. There isn’t anything that I wouldn’t do to help you through her loss.”

Aloy turned back to her meal, her words heavy in the air around them. Erend watched her take a few bites, then turned his attention back to his own food. Her words echoed in his ears, bouncing around in his head. You are the most important person in the world to me, she’d said. A part of him felt like flying, while the rest of him felt buried under a pile of boulders.

The next morning, they turned east towards Forgeview. Erend and Ersa had grown up in the tiny village, and it was there that Ersa’s spirit rested. It was about a day’s walk from where they’d camped, so they pushed hard to make it before nightfall.

As they crested a large hill, the sun behind them almost set, Erend stopped. He pointed down into the deep valley, to the small village below them.

“Is that it?” Aloy asked, already guessing the answer.

Erend nodded, and headed down the hill. When they entered the village, everything was quiet. They could see the glow of firelight coming from the forge in the middle of town, the only sign of life. Erend steered them towards the tavern, knowing he would find what he was looking for.

Erend held the door of the tavern open, and waved Aloy in. As she stepped inside, she noticed that it was full. So THIS was where everyone went once darkness fell! She also noticed that everyone had turned to look at her, wondering about the stranger in their midst.

When Erend stepped in behind her, though, the room erupted. There were exclamations of joy as people jumped from their seats, eager to greet him. There were plenty of smiling faces, hugs and kisses. 

Once the commotion had died down some, Erend put his hand on Aloy’s shoulder. “Everyone, this is Aloy. Aloy, I’d like you to meet my clan.” With this, there was another round of enthusiastic hugs and warm greetings. Erend stepped back and watched as Aloy was embraced by his clan, his chest filled with pride. He knew that she’d never had anything like this in her life, and he was more than happy to share his bounty.

Erend and Aloy were prodded over to one of the long tables, the members of the clan fussing over them. One brought them platefuls of smoky meats and roasted vegetables, while another fetched drinks. When the large foamy mugs of ale appeared in front of them, someone from the crowd yelled above the din.

“A toast! To Erend, who has journeyed far to be with us here tonight. And Aloy, a new friend to us all.” 

Everyone cheered as every glass was raised. Aloy took a sip of her ale, and immediately coughed and sputtered. It tasted so much more bitter than the mead she’d enjoyed in Longlake! Erend saw her choking on the taste of the ale and laughed heartily, taking the mug from her hand. 

“Here, let me finish that one. I’ll go get you a mead.”

He rose and went to the table that held the barrels, coming back with a full mug. Some of his clan members teased him, saying “What, are you done already?” and “Thirsty are we, Erend?” He smiled and waved them off, setting the mug in front of Aloy. He didn’t see the knowing glances of his clan members behind his back, their sly smiles. They already knew what Erend what not willing to admit.

As they sat, drinking and talking into the night, Aloy could see that Erend’s spirits were lifted. Being surrounded by loved ones was helping to heal his broken heart.  
As one would expect, plenty of arguments broke out over the course of the evening. Aloy hadn’t known exactly what Erend meant when he told her on the day they met that the Oseram were known for three things – one of which was arguing – but she soon found out. Erend’s aunts, uncles, and cousins argued good-naturedly over every topic that you could imagine. But no argument was more heated than the one that would decide where Erend and Aloy would spend the night.

Forgeview was too small to have an inn, not that any of his family members would have allowed them to stay there anyway. One aunt, a pleasant woman with a warm smile, argued that it was her turn to host Erend, while one of his uncles insisted that no, it was his turn. They fought over him, back and forth. Erend just sat back and let them argue over him, watching it all unfold.

“You’re not going to step in?” Aloy asked Erend, wondering if he was going to state a preference.

“What? Oh, by the forge, no. I’m not getting in the middle of that. I’d rather face a stormbird with only a pointed stick than get between those two.” 

The argument continued until one of the clan elders went to get the village visitor log. It was a ridiculous thing to have, serving only the settle arguments such as these. The elder came back with the set of scrolls, and found the scroll that tracked Erend’s visits. It was eventually determined that it was, in fact, his aunt’s turn to host him; and she huffed in triumph. Erend and Aloy gathered their things, bidding the rest of the clan goodnight, and followed his aunt out into the darkness.

They walked through the tiny village, enjoying the cool night air. It took only a few minutes to reach the woman’s home, a small cottage near the edge of the village. It looked warm and inviting, much like the woman who owned it. She ushered them inside, closing the door firmly behind them.

“Welcome, Aloy. My home is your home, and you will always be welcome here.”

“Thank you…” Aloy started, before realizing that she’d forgotten the woman’s name.

“It’s Renda, my dear. Not to worry, I know that it can be a bit overwhelming to meet us all at once.”

Aloy smiled at the woman’s understanding. “Thank you Renda.”

“Now” Renda said, clapping her hands together “let’s get you both settled.” She gave Erend a little shove towards a door on the far side of the sitting room, letting him know that that would be his room. He walked towards the door, but paused when he swung it open.

“Uh, Renda, didn’t you used to have two beds in here?” he asked apprehensively.

“Yes, dear, but one was old and worn out so I got rid of it. But the bed in there is plenty big.”

“It’s not that. It’s just, well, Aloy and I aren’t a couple Renda, we’re just friends.” 

Renda gave him a stern look. “Ummmhmmm. Right.” she said dryly.

Erend fidgeted nervously, knowing that his aunt wasn’t believing a word he’d just said. Aloy seemed oblivious to the wordless conversation happening between Erend and Renda, her reading of social situations and body language still poor. 

“Well then, one of you can take my bed, and I’ll sleep out here in the sitting room.” Renda offered. 

“Nonsense, Renda. I’ll take the sitting room.” Erend replied.

“Erend, this is silly.” Aloy pipped in. “We’ve been sleeping side by side almost every night since we left Meridian” (Renda shot Erend a sideways glance at that part) “and there’s no reason why anyone should have to sleep in the sitting room when there is a perfectly good bed right there.”

Erend had a tough time trying to argue with that. He saw his aunt smirk at him, and he threw up his hands in defeat. “Fine, alright.” 

The impasse settled, Erend moved his pack into the room and leaned it on the wall. He removed his hammer, setting it against the table near the door.

Aloy followed him into the room and set her pack beside his. Renda poked her head into the room and bid them goodnight. “If you need anything dear” she said, looking at Aloy “I’m right next door.” She shot a look at Erend, and her message was received loud and clear. She closed the door, leaving them alone in the lamplight.

Aloy began removing her armour, stripping down to her undertunic and leggings. She piled her necklaces and scarf onto the table by the door. Erend followed suit, peeling off his clothes until only his pants remained. He shifted subtly from side to side, mentally preparing himself for the long night ahead.

“Is there a side that you prefer?” Aloy asked, pointing to the bed.

“Not really, no.” he answered, hoping to keep his voice even so that his nerves wouldn’t betray him.

“Ok then.” Aloy said over her shoulder as she bounced onto the bed and crawled towards the side that was against the wall. Erend watched her as she bounced, watched her hips wiggle as she crawled on all fours towards the wall. He couldn’t help but notice that her thin leggings followed her body like a second skin. He couldn’t help but imagine her on all fours on the bed, wiggling her hips at him, without those pesky leggings in the way.

He shook his head, trying to clear the mental image he’d created before it got him into trouble. He knew that, while the bed was large enough for both of them, it would be a tight fit. Between that and his thin linen pants, there would be no way that he could hide himself from her. As it was, he was going to have to make sure that he woke up before her, so that neither of them would wake up to a surprise.

Erend slid into bed beside her, pulling the covers up to his chest just as Aloy let out a sigh, both tired and content. Erend turned his head to look at her, and marveled for a moment in the fact that she was laying there beside him. He was looking at her face, her long eyelashes against her cheeks and a strand of hair that ran across her forehead, when she opened her eyes and looked at him. She smiled warmly, making his heart race. He lifted his arm, inviting her to cuddle up to him. Her smile widened, and she ducked beneath his arm, laying her head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her. He held her close, reveling in the feel of her warm body next to his. This, this was what had made him hesitant to share a bed with her, he thought. I’m like a drunk at a tavern - I can’t stop myself from touching her, but I destroy myself a little every time I do.

The next morning, Erend was up before the sun. He had gone out hunting, and had come back with a boar before either of the two women had woken up.

“Erend! Why are you up so early?” Renda asked him suspiciously. 

“I wanted to make sure that we weren’t putting you out, so I went out and got you a fresh boar. I won’t have time later today, and I wanted to make sure that we thanked you properly for your hospitality.” Erend told her, hoping that she’d believe him. What he was saying wasn’t really a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth either.

“And what’s going to keep you busy today, my dear?” Renda asked him as she started preparing breakfast.

“I’m going to bring Aloy to visit Ersa.” Erend replied somberly. Renda froze where she stood, her own grief still fresh. She turned to her nephew and wrapped her arms around him in a loving embrace.

“That’s good, Erend. That’s really good.” she said in a soothing voice. She stroked his back and kissed his forehead gently before turning back to her work. 

Erend sat quietly as his aunt cooked, grief burning in his chest. He knew that being here would be hard, but he didn’t think that it would be this hard. Everywhere he looked, he was reminded of Ersa. They had spent a lot of time here together when they were younger, among his mother’s clan. From the spring melt until the first snows of fall, they would chase each other around Forgeview, making a general nuisance of themselves. They played down by the creek, catching fish or building with mud and rocks. They first learned to hunt in these woods, catching rabbits and raccoons. They were always being scolded for playing too close to the forge. 

“Renda” Erend said softly, looking at the floor “do you remember the ass kicking you gave us when Ersa and I tried to sneak into the forge?”

The sound that Renda made was something between a chuckle and a sob. “Oh yes, I most certainly do. You two had wanted to make yourselves some weapons, because you had decided that you were finally old enough to have them. I had looked everywhere for you two, and it wasn’t until I heard Ersa giggling that I found you. You scared me to death that day, my boy.”

“Sorry.” Erend said, ashamed of his five year old self.

“Don’t be, my dear.”

“I miss her, Renda.” he whispered.

“I do too, Erend. I do too.” 

Aloy emerged from the room she’d shared with Erend, and was instantly aware that she was intruding on a private moment. Erend sat at the table in the kitchen, his head hung low and his shoulders slumped. Renda had turned back to her breakfast preparations, but Aloy could see her wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand. She was about to go back into the bedroom when a floorboard squeaked beneath her feet. Erend looked over at her, his smile not quite reaching his eyes.

“You’re up! Good morning.”

“Good morning, my dear, breakfast will be ready in just a few minutes.” Renda added, cracking eggs into a bowl.

Aloy went to the kitchen and sat down beside Erend. She didn’t need to ask him what had made him so sad, she knew what awaited them later that day.

They ate their breakfast quietly, each lost in their own thoughts. Erend ate slower than he usually did, both wanting and not wanting to visit Ersa. Visiting her made it too real, forcing him to deal with his feelings. He far preferred to ignore them, in the hopes that they’d go away. He looked at Aloy, slowly eating her herbed eggs, and scoffed to himself. Clearly, he was not one to learn a lesson the first time.

Erend wasn’t sure how long they’d be gone, so Renda insisted on packing some food for them and wouldn’t take no for an answer. “Just shush, and let me fuss over you.” she said, scolding Erend when he tried to refuse. 

Aloy watched Erend and Renda together. What a nice feeling it must be, she thought, to have so many people care so much about you. She’d only ever had Rost, and he was always much too stoic to fuss over her like that. She wouldn’t be here today had it not been for his influence, of that she had no doubt, but seeing Renda made Aloy realize the sorts of things that she’d missed out on.

Renda stood in the doorway of her cottage and waved as Aloy and Erend headed off in the direction of the ashgrounds. All of the members of his clan were buried there, he told Aloy as they were walking. All of his ancestors watched over their clan and their lands, doing what they could to bring peace and prosperity. 

The ashgrounds were a short ways from town, in the bend of a creek that tumbled down from the hillside above them. It was surrounded by an elaborate metal fence, the pieces bent and curled. It reminded her of the markings on Erend’s arm, symbols of the clan.

Erend paused at the gate, and Aloy hung back while he recited a special prayer. He opened the gate, and waved at her to follow him. “It’s alright” he said when he saw her hesitating “the ancestors know that you’re with me.” He gave her a small smile, and she followed him into the ashgrounds. 

Erend walked along beside a series of metal markers, some newer, some weathered and rusted. Near the creek’s edge, he stopped. He stood in front of a marker that looked brand new. He knelt down in front of it, hanging his head. Aloy knelt beside him, not sure whether he would want some privacy. But she knew that she’d made the right choice when she saw his shoulders begin to shake. She took his hand in hers and squeezed it, hoping that he would understand that he wasn’t alone in his grief. Erend leaned against her, and she held him as he wept. 

When his tears finally stopped, Erend felt completely drained. He could feel Aloy’s arms around him, gently rocking him. She hadn’t said anything, and yet there was nothing more she could have done to comfort him. She kissed the top of his head softly as she rocked him, and laid her head against his. He felt safe there with her.

Erend sighed and sat back up, Aloy’s arms slowly sliding away from him. He reached into the bag he’d brought and withdrew a small toy sword.

“Heh, Ersa” he began. “we stayed with Renda last night, and I found this old toy in our room. Do you remember how much we used to fight over this stupid thing?” he paused, letting out a puff of air that would have been a laugh under any other circumstances. “Anyway, I thought that I’d let you have it, for now. You can give it back to me later.” Erend leaned forward and placed the tiny sword beside the marker of Ersa’s resting spot. When he sat back on his haunches, Aloy reached over and put her hand gently on his arm.  
She held her hand there while Erend continued to talk to Ersa. He talked about their victory over HADES, the vanguardsmen who had been killed in the battle, and the search for new members to replace them.

“They’re a good bunch of junior recruits, you know. I think you’d like them. They’re brave, and smart, and tough as iron. They’re not there yet, but we’ll get them whipped into shape.

I’m the new Captain of the Vanguard, by the way. But I’m not as good a Captain as you were, and I wish that you could give me advice. Like, how did you handle losing soldiers under your command? I know it happened, but it never seemed to weigh on you like it does on me. I dream about them, you know. I can see their bodies, bloody and broken, and I can’t help but feel like it’s my fault. In my head, I know that that’s not true, but I can’t help but feel that way. What did you do, the first time you lost a soldier?” 

He let out a loud sigh. “Avad misses you. I gotta say, you two are terrible at keeping secrets. It was the worst kept secret in the entire vanguard, if you didn’t already know that. I try not to think about it too much – my sister and my boss, ugh. You could have been a queen, Ersa, but you chose to be a vanguard. You chose the harder road, and part of me is so proud of you for that. Another part will never forgive you for it either. If you had taken the easy path in life, you’d be sitting in Meridian right now, lounging in the palace somewhere. But instead you’re here, in the cold. Why couldn’t you have, for once, done things the easy way?” Tears were streaming down his face again, but Erend kept talking. It was as if, now that he’d started, he didn’t know how to stop.

“Dervahl is going to be executed in a few days. We caught him, Ersa, we got that bastard and he’s going to pay for what he did to you. Aloy and I are on our way to Mainspring…  
Oh, right. Ersa, this is Aloy. You don’t really know her, but you’ve seen her before. She was there, with us, in the cabin near Pitchcliff. I only found you because of her, you know. Dervahl had tricked everyone into thinking that you were dead, but Aloy saw through it. I didn’t, but she’s a lot smarter than me. I know, that’s not saying much, but she is. She’s better than me in pretty much every way. You’d have liked her, you’re a lot alike.

I wanted you to know that I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said, about growing up. I’m working on it. I don’t spend much time in the tavern anymore, which should make you happy. And I’m trying to focus less on what I want and more on what others need from me.

And I just want you to know that I’m OK. I know that you worry about me, your idiot little brother. But I’m going to be alright. I miss you, though. Every day. It’s like a part of me is gone, I’ve lost it and I don’t know where to find it. Sometimes, I’ll start to talk to you, and then I remember that you’re not there. And then it’s like I lose you all over again.” Erend stopped, unable to continue, as more tears flowed. He felt like a bottomless well of sadness, the supply never ending.

When he’d cried himself out again, Erend stood and moved over to the marker beside Ersa’s. 

“Aloy, this is my mother, Erol. And this” he said, stepping to the next marker “is my father, Atras.”

Aloy knelt, placing her palm on Erol’s grave. She hadn’t known that Erend’s parents were dead. With the loss of his only sister, he was now alone in the world. She knew exactly what that felt like. He had his clan to help him, but she understood the special kind of loneliness that comes with the loss of your family. She turned and hugged him tight.  
Erend reached back into the bag he’d brought with him and pulled out the canteen that Renda had given them. His head ached from crying, his throat sore from sobbing, and he thought that the cold water would help. He sat on the ground, staring at the reminders of all that he had lost. He brought up his knees, hugging them to his chest, and sighed. Aloy sat down beside him, wrapping her arms around her legs, and stared off into the distance. She hadn’t said a word since they’d arrived at the ashgrounds.

“Thank you for being here Aloy. I don’t have the words to tell you how grateful I am.” Erend said softly.

Aloy looked at him, her eyes looking deep into his. “Always.”

And so they talked, sitting on the ground and staring into the distance. Erend told Aloy the story about how Ersa escaped the Mad Sun King, a story that he’d promised to tell her on the day they first met. He told her the story about how he gave Ersa the scar on her knee, with the toy sword that he’d just given her. He told her about how he traveled with Ersa’s body, first from Pitchcliff to Meridian, and then from Meridian to Forgeview. How difficult it was to have Ersa there beside him, knowing that she wasn’t really there anymore. How much he worried about being attacked, and the possibility that bandits or machines would desecrate her body. He talked about setting up her funeral pyre, and watching her return to the forgefires in which all life begins and ends. About burying her ashes here, next to their parents. About having to leave her behind, here in The Claim. 

“Leaving her here was hard, really hard.” Erend said. “We’ve always been together, our whole lives side by side. I felt like I was abandoning her, betraying her. I felt so completely alone. But I don’t feel that way anymore. Because of you, Aloy.” He looked at her with a disquieting intensity. “I’m not alone in the world anymore, because I have you. Whether we’re together or apart, we will always have each other to lean on.” 

Aloy was speechless. Erend looked back out over the horizon, and Aloy did the same.

“I’ve never really explained why Ersa and I were so close. You see, my mother died when I was a baby. She died giving birth to me, actually. My father, my father had loved her so completely. The members of my clan sometimes talk about how in love they were, and all of the little things that my father would do just to see her smile. Her death, it broke him. He was never the same, or so I’m told. He loved us, I know that he did, but he was distant, like he was afraid to care about someone again. And I know that he was overwhelmed – he lost the person that he loved most in the world, and suddenly found himself with a newborn and a one and a half year old to care for. He just didn’t know what to do. The clan, they did what they could to help, but there was only so much that they could do.

My father never blamed me for my mother’s death, not exactly, but she was still dead because of me. She died bringing me into the world, and my father never could look at me without thinking of her. I’ve always felt responsible for my mother’s death, but I also know that I was the source of my father’s unbearable sadness. It was a lot, as a kid. 

My father had been a soldier, and had been posted near Forgeview, which is how he met my mother. His clan is further to the north, in a town called Riverbend. We would spend our winters there, and our summers here with my mother’s clan. 

My father was tough, and being a soldier was all he knew how to do. So that was what we did together as a family, we trained. He would come home at the end of the day, and we would spend hours training and running drills. He taught us how to fight, taught us everything that he knew. It was his way of showing that he cared, I suppose. It also helped to distract him from his grief. He never got over it, never moved on, never allowed himself to be happy again. It was as if he had no right to enjoy life, if she wasn’t there to enjoy it with him.

But he’s the reason both Ersa and I became freebooters, and then vanguard. It was our connection to our family, and the only life that we’d ever known.

My father died the winter of my twelfth year. He got sick, and just never got better. We watched him waste away. And then it was just Ersa and I. We were with my father’s clan at the time, so we were sent to live with one of them. A man named Awl took us in. He put a roof over our heads, but that was about all that he did. He barely clothed and fed us, and we were made to work for him at his forge - he was a hammersmith. We gathered fuel for the forge fire, we fetched water from the river for his cooling buckets, we hauled metal for shaping or smelting. It was backbreaking, miserable work; but he wouldn’t let us leave. Our clan here in Forgeview, they tried and tried to get us back, but they never could. There was nothing that anyone could do, until Ersa was of age. As soon as she passed her adulthood ceremony, she took me and we left. She became a freebooter, earning a few shards here and there when she could. We had a simple cabin, a camp really, not far from Longlake. I did what I could to help – hunting, killing watchers and selling the parts to merchants – but it wasn’t much. I know that she had it tough, supporting us both on only a few shards. Proving herself as a freebooter couldn’t have been easy either. She kept training me to fight, and in the evening we would sit by the lamp and she taught me to read and write glyphs. She told me, time and again, that she would do everything she could to make sure that I had a good life. ‘A life to match your heart’ is what she’d say. 

Finally, my sixteenth year arrived, and I took the test of adulthood right away. I received my clan marks, and then went to join Ersa as a freebooter. We’ve been side by side ever since. Or, at least we were.

Losing her was like losing one of the most important parts of myself. There was an emptiness that I couldn’t fill. I tried, with brew, when I first thought that she was dead. You already know that. But the whole time that I was doing it, I knew that that was a road that she never wanted for me. She had suffered for me, bled for me, cried when she thought that I was sleeping. She went without, just to make sure that I had enough, all to ensure that I had the chance at the life that she thought I deserved. She wanted, above all, for me to be happy. 

You know, the day that I was sworn in to the vanguard was the proudest day of her life. Her sacrifices had paid off, she told me. Her hard work had taken us from a dirty hut beside a forge to the palace of the Sun King. And she was right.”

Aloy didn’t know what to say. Erend had just laid his soul bare at her feet, honoured her with the gift of his pain. She placed her hand on the side of his face, gently stroking her thumb across his cheek. He closed his eyes, letting the intimate moment help to heal his broken heart. She gave him a soft kiss, and they looked at each other for a moment. Erend stood, and offered his hand. It was time to go, and they walked hand in hand back towards Forgeview. For the first time, Erend didn’t feel the need to look back at Ersa as he was leaving. He knew that she could see that he now had the happiness that she’d always wanted for him. He had a life to match his heart. 

______________

It was late in the day when Erend and Aloy walked back in to Renda’s cottage. Erend wasn’t surprised to see the sitting room full of people, the word about his arrival no doubt having spread to the four corners of the clan territory. He didn’t make it back to Forgeview very often, so there was always a feast when he did.

They didn’t receive the same reception as they had the night before, today there were no cheers of joy. Everyone in the room knew that Erend had spent the day at his sister’s graveside, and that he’d be in no mood for rejoicing when he returned. Instead, each of his cousins, aunts, and uncles that had gathered at Renda’s came and gave him a warm hug, happy to have him back among them.

Renda came over to where Erend was standing, and gave him a soft smile.

“You look tired.” she said, cupping his face. “But you look better.” He hugged her gently, and she went back to the kitchen. She immediately began arguing with one of the men who had been helping to prepare the feast, a heated discussion about the proper way to prepare the potatoes. 

One of Erend’s cousins, who hadn’t been at the tavern the night before, came over to where they were standing and introduced herself to Aloy.

“I’m Osha, Erend’s cousin. You must be the Aloy that I’ve been hearing about all day.”

“Yah, that’s me.” Aloy said, her cheeks a bit pink. She would never get used to the idea of other people discussing her.

“Well, welcome among our clan. I don’t know if you know this, but there’s going to be a feast tonight, the whole clan will be there. I was thinking…”

“Osha…” Erend cut in, his tone warning her to proceed with caution.

“Shut it, Erend. I was thinking that me and a few of the other cousins could take you to our Aunt Aalie’s cottage to get ready for the feast. Aunt Renda’s cottage is going to be overflowing with people from now until it starts, so you won’t have a chance to bathe or anything like that. What do you say?”

Aloy had to admit, it sounded like a good idea. She needed a good scrubbing, especially since she’d be meeting Erend’s entire family tonight. “Alright, that sounds good.” Then she turned to Erend. “Will you be coming?”

Erend looked at Osha, who had clearly been hoping to get Aloy alone so that she could gossip. “Yah, I could use a bath. Just let me grab my grooming kit and a clean tunic.”

Osha shot Erend a dirty look, knowing that he’d seen right through her, but she didn’t say anything. Sure, she’d wanted to ask Aloy about their relationship, but she was just as happy to spend time with her cousin. For all that they teased one another, they were family.

Erend and Aloy followed Osha and a few other cousins out of the cottage, headed towards Aalie’s. Almost as soon as the door had closed behind them, an excited chatter erupted from the crowd gathered in Renda’s sitting room. Renda had spent the most time with them, and everyone wanted to know what she thought. 

“I am more sure now than I’ve ever been.” Renda said finally. “He has his mother’s gentle soul, and he has his father’s loving heart. I look at the two of them together, and it’s Erol and Atras all over again. The way he looks at her, his eyes following her around the room. The way his voice changes when he talks about her. Have you noticed that he stands a little straighter when she’s around? To think, that he brought her here, to meet us….and to meet Ersa. He shared Ersa with her, which tells me that he must really love her. He trusts her with his heart.” 

__________

Aelie’s cottage was warm and comfortable, Aloy noticed as she walked in. Erend was right behind her, and headed over to the kitchen table to pull out a chair. He began to set up his reflector and shaving oil, eager to begin grooming. He hadn’t visited the barber since their last day in Longlake, and he was due.

Aloy was only half listening to the chatter around her as she watched Erend begin shaving. It wasn’t until she heard someone repeating her name that she snapped out of her reverie.

“Aloy? I asked if you wanted to be first in the washing room.” asked one of the cousins, whose name she couldn’t remember. There were just so many of them, she didn’t know how Erend could keep it all straight in his head.

“No, no, go ahead. I’ll go later.” she replied.

She turned her attention back to Erend, who had moved on to his cheeks. She went over to the chair across from him to watch him.

“Will you need me to help you with your hair, or do you want one of your cousins to help you with it?” she asked him.

He finished swiping at his cheek, then looked at her as he wiped off the blade to begin another pass. “If you have time, you can do it. But don’t you have to wash up and get ready for the feast?”

“Yah, I do, but that won’t take long. I’ve got time.”

Erend wiped the blade of his shaver onto the cloth in front of him, his face done. He set it down on the table, and handed her the shaving oil. “Ok, then, have at it.”

Aloy began to work the shaving oil into his scalp, running her fingers back and forth. Erend felt himself relaxing, the emotion of the difficult day having wound his muscles tight. He was so focused on the feel of Aloy’s hands that he didn’t notice the shift in the noise level around him. His cousins, normally so boisterous, had quieted down and were staring at him. They watched as Aloy began to shave his head, and it was clear that it was something she’d done before. 

“He lets her groom him?” they began to whisper among themselves. They knew how significant that was, even if Aloy didn’t. Oseram men normally didn’t let anyone but the most skilled barbers near their hair, and Erend was even more careful in his grooming habits than most others.

Aloy finished shaving his scalp, still oblivious to the eyes that watched her every move. She brushed her fingers through Erend’s mohawk, then stood back. “There. Much better.”  
The washing room was free now, so she excused herself and stepped inside. As soon as the door closed behind her, Osha marched up to Erend and grabbed his arm.

“Spill.” she demanded. “Now.”

“There’s nothing to spill, Osha.” Erend said, keeping his voice low so that Aloy wouldn’t overhear. “Aloy and I are friends.”

“I heard somebody saying that earlier, and I don’t believe a word of it.”

Erend sighed. “Well, believe it. It’s the truth. She’s just my friend.” Osha looked like she was about to protest, but Erend held up his hand. “Drop it, Osha. Just leave it alone.” 

Osha gave a curt nod and went to sit back down. Erend turned and began to put away his grooming kit. 

Aloy, as promised, had been quick. Her hair washed and her skin glowing, she emerged from the washing room. 

“My turn.” she heard Erend say, as he grabbed his fresh clothes and stepped around her into the washing room. He seemed to be annoyed with something. Aloy hoped that it wasn’t something that she’d done that had upset him.

Aloy crossed over to the sitting room, her dirty clothes in her arms. She had chosen her nicest Nora tunic for tonight, the special one that Teb had made for her. Erend’s family had been used to seeing her in the Oseram garb she’d picked up in Pitchcliff, but tonight she wanted to be comfortable. She sat down, and began to fluff her wet hair with a piece of soft cloth to dry it.

Osha knew better than to gossip with Aloy, knowing what Erend’s reaction would be if she tried. So instead, she watched quietly as Aloy dried her hair and began to braid it. Her hair looked like forgefire, Osha thought to herself. But she couldn’t imagine why Aloy was fussing over it like that – it was just hair, after all. Only men cared about their hair.  
Once Erend was finished in the washing room, he and Aloy headed back towards Renda’s. They wanted to help with preparations for the feast, since it was being thrown in their honour.

Renda’s kitchen was still a buzz of activity. One of the uncles managed to steer Aloy into the sitting room, asking her questions about the Nora. Erend went to his aunt, asking her what he could help with. 

“You can come outside and help me get the boar off the spit.” Renda said, waving at him to follow. “Come, come.”

They walked together towards the cooking pit, the boar he’d killed that morning roasting over the coals. 

“Erend, my dear, tell me something. What’s this business with you telling me yesterday that you and Aloy are just friends?” 

“By the forge! Why does everyone keep asking me that?” Erend exclaimed in frustration. 

“Yah, why DOES everyone keep asking you that?” she asked sarcastically.

“Renda, what I told you yesterday was the truth. We are just friends. There’s nothing going on between us. Aloy is my friend, nothing more.”

“Don’t you give me that nonsense, Erend!” Renda snapped. “You can stand there are lie to yourself if you must, but don’t you dare lie to me!”

“And what is that supposed to mean?” Erend shouted, desperate to stop what he knew was coming.

“Young man, you know exactly what I mean.” Renda glared at him, crossing her arms in front of her.

“What do you want me to say Renda? That I love her?” Erend shouted in exasperation, but then stopped himself. He dropped his voice to a whisper. “That I am hopelessly in love with her, but she just wants to be friends? That I love her, but I had to choose between having her in my life either half way or not at all?” Erend looked at Renda, his eyes sad. “Are there any other swords that you’d like to stab into my heart tonight?” He let out a loud sigh, his shoulders dropping. “She makes me feel like I’m not alone in the world anymore. It’s enough for me, Renda. Why can’t it be enough for you?”

Renda stood planted on the spot. “Erend, I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t have said anything if I had known. I only thought that you hadn’t worked up the courage to tell her how you feel. I’ve seen the way you look at her, and I was only trying to push you towards what you obviously wanted. I didn’t know. The last thing that I would ever want to do is hurt you.”

Erend stood there for a moment, looking at Renda’s sad eyes. “I know that.” he said “Listen, why don’t you head back to the cottage. I can handle the boar on my own.” With that, he turned and walked slowly towards the cooking pit. Renda watched him go, her heart heavy. 

Renda slipped back into the cottage, trying not to catch anyone’s attention. Her mood was dark, and she didn’t want anyone to notice. She wouldn’t betray Erend’s confidence, she loved that boy like a son, but she still didn’t want to have to dodge questions.

She looked over at Aloy, who was still sitting with the uncle who had caught her earlier, several more having since joined the conversation. She fit in so well here, Renda thought, it was like she was already part of the clan. She was strong and smart, kind and loving. She obviously cared for Erend very deeply, and they shared a strong bond. She had love for him, but not the kind of love that he had for her. But, Erend said that what they shared was enough for him. She trusted him to know his own heart.

Renda went back to her meal preparations, gathering up the items that they’d need to take to the tavern. There was no cottage in the village large enough to accommodate them all, so clan gatherings were always held there. She started calling out names and shoving dishes into outstretched hands. It was time for the feast to begin. 

Erend’s mood had brightened some by the time people started to trickle in to the tavern. He’d gone straight there from the cooking pit, and one of his uncles had immediately begun to attack the roast boar with a carving knife. Erend sat in a corner of the room, nursing a mug of ale. He knew that his aunt hadn’t meant to hurt him. She was the closest thing he’d ever had to a mother, and she had always been a loving presence. But her words had opened a hole in his heart, one that he’d worked long and hard to forget existed. He’d get back there, he had to, but the wound felt fresh at the moment.

Erend noticed Aloy as soon as she walked in, a pile of plates in her hands. It wasn’t that he’d been watching for her, but he couldn’t help but see her fiery red hair as it shone, reflecting the lamplight by the door. His eyes followed her across the room, watching as she set the plates in the designated spot. Then she turned, scanning the room, her eyes lighting up when she spotted him. She walked over to his table and sat down.

“I don’t know how you do it, Erend! So many names to remember. So much noise, everywhere, all the time! It’s like being back in Meridian.” she said, only partially joking.  
“You get used to it.” he said. He finished the last of his ale and held up his mug. “I’m going to get another. Do you want any?”

“Sure, I’ll have one. Thanks.”

Erend walked over to the brew barrels, refilling his mug and filling another with mead for Aloy. He walked back to the table, nodding politely at the clan members who were continuing to stream into the room. He didn’t stop – he wasn’t in the mood to chat.

He sat back down, sliding Aloy’s mug towards her. He took a long pull from his drink, then stared at the mug in his hands. He needed to be careful not to have too much tonight, he thought to himself. Part of him wanted to drink until the hole in his heart was filled, but he knew that that would only make things worse. 

She had noticed how quiet he was, how he had retreated into himself. It had been such an emotional day, she told herself, he just needed some time to think. She sipped quietly from her mug, knowing that the best thing to say right now was nothing at all. She’d told Erend that she would always be there for him, and she’d meant it. She would wait until he was ready to talk, no matter how long it took.

They sat across the table from each other in silence while a whirlwind of activity carried on around them. Plates and bowls overflowing with food were being set out. Mugs and plates were being gathered together, forks and knives piled beside them. Soon enough, people began to take their seats at the long tables that filled the tavern. The sounds of laughter and the buzz of dozens of conversations filled the room.

It wasn’t until the most elderly member of the clan, a wrinkled man with white hair, stood that the buzz began to die down. 

“My beloved clan” the old man started “we are gathered here tonight in celebration. Our Erend, big hearted and brave beyond measure, is home from Meridian. Erend, we miss you so much when you are away, but we are proud of all that you’ve accomplished. Welcome home my boy.” The crowd cheered, and Erend couldn’t help but smile.  
“And with Erend has come Aloy, a strong and graceful Nora girl who has gifted us with her presence. Aloy, I had the chance to speak with you earlier this evening, and it was wonderful to get to know you. It already feels like you’re a part of our clan, and we are so pleased that you are here with us tonight.” The old man paused, his voice drowned out by the enthusiasm of the clan members. When the noise died down, he continued somberly.  
“Now, in honour of our ancestors, and all of those who could not be here with us tonight. For Ersa. For Erol. For all those we have loved. Let us light the fire from the forge and remember.”

With that, one of the children approached the hearth at the back of the room. In her hands was a thick piece of leather, with a glowing coal tucked inside it. The young girl made her way across the room and gingerly placed the coal into the bed of dry grass that was waiting in the hearth. She blew softly, and the grass began to smoke and burn. Soon, a fire was crackling away. As it grew, the old man began to sing.

The members of the clan all joined in, singing the song that honoured their loved ones. This was always Erend’s least favourite part of every clan gathering, because it always reminded him of all that he’d lost. This time, he could do little more than mouth the words, the lump in his throat would not allow him to sing. He flinched a little when he felt Aloy take his hand, but grabbed it again as she tried to withdraw it. He didn’t want her to think that he didn’t appreciate her support. He was just raw, the sound of Ersa’s name peeling away his final layer. There had been too much today, and he’d reached his limit.

When the song finished, the elder took his seat. For a moment, nothing happened. Then suddenly, as if on cue, the room erupted with a flurry of activity. People jumped from their seats, eager to fill their plates and mugs. Erend and Aloy just watched, wanting to hang back until the commotion had died down. 

“Listen, Erend, I’m feeling a bit lightheaded, the mead must be getting to me. I’m going to take a walk, get some fresh air. Do you want to join me?”

Erend looked down at Aloy’s mug, still three quarters full. He looked back to her and gave her a little smile. She always knew exactly what to say.

They slipped out the door, mostly unnoticed, and ambled down the path with no particular destination in mind. 

“Sorry about before.” Erend finally said, taking her hand. “I don’t want you to think that I don’t appreciate all that you’ve done for me.”

“Don’t be. Today was…..a lot. I understand. Don’t worry, my feelings are as hard to bruise as the rest of me.”

They walked a bit further, just enjoying the moonlight and each other’s company. They were together, and that was all the balm that Erend needed.

They’d been gone a little while when they decided to go back to the tavern and rejoin the feast. If their departure had gone unnoticed, their return certainly wasn’t. Everyone was sitting at the tables eating, and the conversations had died as they all focused on the food in front of them. So when the heavy door creaked open and Erend and Aloy tried to slip in, every head turned in their direction.

Almost every member of the clan began laughing, hooting and whooping at the two of them. Most of the clan still assumed that they were just being secretive about their relationship, and having them sneaking out to be alone wasn’t helping matters. 

Renda had been avoiding Erend all evening, in the hopes that she wouldn’t make him feel worse than she already had. But when she noticed Erend and Aloy trying to sneak back into the feast, her chest constricted with sadness. He had been through so much, and he needed loving support now more than ever. She went up to him and whispered “Erend, are you alright?”

“Yah, Renda, I’m alright.” he replied, keeping his voice soft. “I just needed some air, that’s all. The song for the loved ones lost, after everything that’s happened today, well I just got a bit overwhelmed. I’m feeling better now.”

Renda cast her eyes to the floor and nodded. She was partly responsible for the tornado of emotions that he’d been put through that day. She clasped his hand, hugging it to her chest. “Well, I’m glad that Aloy is here to help you through it.”

“So am I Renda.”

Erend and Aloy, no longer needing to sneak around, made their way to the table that held the piles of food and began to fill their plates. As they made their way down the table, he explained to Aloy what each dish was. He pointed out his favourites, many that were specialties of his clan. 

The feast continued into the wee hours, with plenty of eating and drinking. As the guests of honour, Erend and Aloy were passed around the room, each member of the clan getting their turn to visit. Finally, when the last of the crowd began to stumble their way home, Renda motioned to Erend and the three of them set off towards her cottage.  
“So, what would you like in your lunch for tomorrow? I’ll pack it up before I head to bed.” Renda asked as they were ushered into her cozy cottage.

“Renda, that’s really not necessary.” Aloy replied.

“What did I tell you two about letting me fuss over you? If you think that I’m going to let you leave without a hearty breakfast and enough food to see you through the day, you’re very wrong.”

“Aloy, don’t try to fight it.” Erend said knowingly. “You won’t win.” 

Renda smiled. “Listen to Erend, my dear, he knows of what he speaks.” 

Renda busied herself with the preparation of food bundles for their journey tomorrow. She knew why they were going to Mainspring, and she worried about how Erend would handle it. She couldn’t shield him from the pain he was facing, but she would do what she could to make sure that he didn’t have to endure anything more.

She bid them goodnight and watched them retreat towards the bedroom. Oh Erend, she thought to herself. Your father’s love burned so brightly, with the intensity of the summer sun. She’d always believed that she would never see anything like it again. As she watched them go, she knew that she’d been wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and the next weren't easy to write, but are one of the main reasons that I felt the need to write this piece. I wanted to see Erend get some closure on all that he'd been through over the course of Horizon Zero Dawn.
> 
> I hope that the story of his childhood doesn't come off as too much of an info dump, but I felt that it was important to try and understand this character better. 
> 
> Poor Erend, I feel so sad for him.
> 
>  
> 
> Chapter Soundtrack:  
> As long as you follow - Fleetwood Mac  
> Songbird - Fleetwood Mac  
> The Grace - Neverending White Lights  
> Letters from the sky - Civil Twilight  
> The Funeral - Band of Horses  
> Wish you were here - Pink Floyd  
> If I should go before you - City & Colour  
> I will remember you - Sarah Mclachlan  
> Tears in heaven - Eric Clapton  
> Life without you - Stevie Ray Vaughn  
> Little Wing - Stevie Ray Vaughn  
> Freebird - Lynryd Skynyrd


	7. Mainspring

The following morning, Erend and Aloy headed towards Mainspring at a good pace. They’d been delayed by the lengthy goodbyes of Renda and the other clan members, and they wanted to make up the time they’d lost.

Neither of them talked much as they walked, Erend trying both to recover from the ups and downs of the previous day, and steel himself against what he would face in Mainspring. He had wanted so badly to crush Dervahl’s skull on the day they’d captured him, his hands had itched. But he’d held back, denied himself the pleasure of ending his life. Dervahl had taken something from Erend that could never be replaced, and he intended to watch every minute of what he hoped would be a painful execution. He hoped that it would help to bring him some sense of closure, witnessing the man pay for his crimes. But he also worried that it could blow the wound wide open, peeling back the small scab that had begun to form since Ersa’s death. 

They arrived in Mainspring just after midday two days later. The city was alive with activity, word having gotten out about Dervahl’s coming punishment. There were so many people that he’d wronged, and many of them wanted to watch him pay for what he’d done.

When Erend had told his clan members why he’d returned, he’d asked if any of them intended to come to Mainspring. They’d been advised of the execution, his uncle Tosh had told him, but they’d discussed it at length and decided not to attend. They didn’t want to give Dervahl anything more than he’d already taken from them, Tosh explained. He wasn’t worth the effort or the time. They chose instead to hold a special gathering on the day of his execution, in the ashgrounds, to honour Ersa’s memory.

Erend could understand their point of view. She’d been important to them, but their grief wasn’t the same as his. He’d held Ersa in his arms as she died, and his veins were filled with the need for vengeance. He needed to see justice served.

Aloy and Erend walked through the heart of Mainspring, towards one of the inns. They were surprised when they were turned away, the inn being full. It was the same at the second inn. There were only three inns in Mainspring, so they hoped that the third time would be the charm. They didn’t relish the thought of having to camp outside the city.  
Luckily, the third inn wasn’t full. But, the innkeeper explained, she only had one room left.

“Well” Aloy said “we’ve been sharing a bed for the last few nights anyway. What’s a few more?” They took the room, and headed upstairs to deposit their packs. 

Erend wondered briefly if he should sleep on the floor, rather than sharing the bed with Aloy. It looked fairly small, and he was finding it more and more difficult to separate his feelings from his friendship with her. Each night they spent together felt more and more intimate, each cuddle breaking his heart. They weren’t moving towards a physical relationship, he was pretty sure about that, but their friendship was changing shape. He didn’t know what the final shape would be, and he worried about continuing to stretch the bond that they shared. There would come a day, he thought, that he would no longer be able to hold himself back. He’d tell her everything, and the bubble that they lived in would burst. 

Off they went to explore the city, taking in the sights, sounds, and smells of the Oseram capital. Erend had only been to Mainspring a few times, his days as a freebooter tending to keep him in other parts of The Claim. He caught Aloy admiring the variety of weapons for sale, which made him smile. She couldn’t turn it off, could she? Finally, after wandering for a few hours, they made their way to one of the taverns that lined the street. The stew was hot and the ale was cold, exactly what Erend was looking for.

That night, Aloy was the first to crawl into bed. She took the side nearest the wall again, and pulled back the blankets for Erend. He looked at her, her red hair fanned across her pillow, and his thoughts wandered for a moment. Every night was the same, he thought. He found himself sliding into bed next to a beautiful woman, a woman he loved with every fibre of his being, and doing nothing but cuddling. Why did he keep torturing himself this way? And yet, he found himself getting in to bed and tangling himself around her. His mind thought about all of the things that he’d rather be doing with Aloy in the dark and he laid awake, dreaming while she slept. 

It was cold in the room when Erend awoke, and he realized that he and Aloy were now facing each other in bed, their legs twisted together, her forehead pressed against his chest. He could feel her warm breath on his skin, the tingling of the numbness in his arm where her head lay. He lifted the arm that had been slung over her waist and tried to slide out from underneath her without waking her, but his shifting woke her up.

“Good morning.” he said groggily as he kissed the top of her head. “Did you sleep well?”

“Mmmmhmmm. You?” Aloy asked, still mostly sleeping.

Erend gave a non-committal grunt and rolled out of bed. He sat on the edge of the mattress, rubbing his hand over his mohawk, and tried to convince himself to stand up and get dressed. It had been a very short night, and he was having trouble shaking off the cobwebs of sleep. He felt Aloy’s leg sliding alongside his, and felt her tiny hands on his broad shoulder as she plunked her feet onto the floor and steadied herself. It was strange, how much her touch felt like fire sometimes. Yah, he’d have to sit here for a few more minutes. 

__________

The day had finally arrived for Dervahl’s sentence to be announced. There was no doubt in Erend’s mind that he would be executed – he’d done too many things to too many people for it to be otherwise. It was the HOW that Erend was eager to learn. Would it be fast and fairly painless? Slow and excruciating? He knew which option he preferred.

Erend and Aloy made their way down to the main square of the city, where everything would be occurring. Erend looked over at her, and took a moment to appreciate that she was STILL here beside him. She had followed him across The Claim, held his hand as he wept for Ersa, and for some reason chose to stick with him as he witnessed Dervahl’s execution. He thought about what he must look like – a man thirsty for blood and bent on vengeance. A man who was begging to watch someone undergo the most gruesome torture that anyone could come up with. If he was honest, he even scared himself a little. He wondered what she must think of him.

They arrived in the square and found seats on a balcony overlooking the crowd. They could clearly see Dervahl in the centre, shackled and chained to the ground. 

Erend hadn’t been sure, up until that moment, how he would react to everything that was about to happen. But as soon as he saw Dervahl’s face, all doubt left him.  
He turned to Aloy and looked at her seriously. “Aloy, I just want you to know….when this is all over, I’m going to get drunk. Very, VERY drunk. It’s not going to be pretty. If you don’t want to deal with me, that’s fine – I don’t mind, really. I just… I just need to stop feeling for a little while. It’s too much, Aloy, it’s too much and I feel like I’m drowning in it all. I need to make it stop, just for tonight.”

Aloy reached up and rubbed her hand along the back of his mohawk, pulling his head forward and resting her forehead on his. They stayed that way for several minutes while the rest of the world disappeared, Aloy trying desperately to give Erend some of her strength.

“I understand” she whispered “and I’m not going to leave you. I’m with you Erend, always.”

When they broke apart, Erend wiped a tear from his cheek with the side of his glove. What had he ever done to deserve her? He kissed her forehead, and they turned their attention to the Oseram official who had just taken the stage.

“Oseram faithful! Your attention please, Oseram faithful.” She paused and cleared her throat. “Dervahl stands before us, accused of many crimes. These crimes include the killing of a fellow Oseram. For these crimes, the Council of Clans has decided that he will be put to death.” She waited for the chatter to die down before continuing. “For the suffering that he has inflicted, he too shall suffer. Therefore, Dervahl is sentenced to death by pulley.”

Gasps could be heard from the crowd, and even Erend was surprised. Pulley? He hadn’t expected the Council of Clans to choose something so slow and painful.

“Dervahl’s sentence will begin here, in one hour’s time. Furthermore, upon his death, Dervahl’s body will not be given to the fire, but rather will be left for the creatures of the forest. He had no honour in life, and he will receive no honour in death.”

Erend was dumbfounded. He hadn’t been expecting this.

Aloy sat beside him, confused.

Erend saw the look on Aloy’s face, and realized that she’d likely never encountered anything like this. The Nora cast people out, they didn’t execute them.

“Death by pulley is a particularly gruesome way to die. Do you want me to explain it, so that you can decide whether or not you want to be here to watch?” Erend asked her.

“I’ll be here, regardless. But yes, I’d like to know why everyone seems so shocked.”

“Ok, well, what they do is lay the person down and tie chains around their wrists and ankles. Those chains are then attached to four specially built pulley systems. Each pulley is placed on one of the four directions.” He paused and gave a short sigh before continuing. “The chains are pulled through the pulley system, one link at a time, a few times each hour. They keep pulling on the chains, until the person is….until…”

“Until they pull the person apart.” Aloy finished for him.

“Uh, yah. Then, the person is left in the sun to bleed until they die.” 

Aloy put her finger under Erend’s chin and lifted his head to look at him. “He deserves all of that and more.”

Aloy wasn’t disgusted by him, like he had feared. The look in Erend’s eyes changed, hardening. “Damn straight he does.”

Erend put his hand on Aloy’s knee, telling her to stay put. There was something that he needed to do. He worked his way through the crowd towards Dervahl, not really knowing what he’d do when he got there.

He slowed as he approached the spot where Dervahl was chained, taking pleasure in the sight of him on his knees, shackled. 

Erend walked up to him, looked Dervahl right in the eyes, and sneered menacingly. “Oh Dervahl, I’m going to enjoy watching this, every excruciating minute of it. It’s almost enough to make me happy that I didn’t cave in your skull. After you die, I’m going to celebrate, and I’m going to piss all over the pieces of you as they rot. You deserve every bit of what you’re getting, you sick bastard.” Erend spit in Dervahl’s face and turned to go. 

But Dervahl called after him. “She was something else, that sister of yours. I had fun trying to break her. Yah, she was real fun that Ersa.”

From the stands, Aloy saw Erend turn and march towards Dervahl. He swung his arm back and punched him, as hard as he could by the look of it. Dervahl’s head snapped to the side, a spray of blood coming from his mouth. He leaned forward to spit out more blood, and what looked to Aloy like a tooth. Dervahl’s head hung forward, his chin on his chest, as Erend stomped away. Whatever he’d said, Dervahl looked like he regretted saying it. 

Erend returned to his seat next to Aloy, jittery and jumpy. The rush of adrenaline had left him on edge, and he felt nervous as he waited for the execution begin.

Aloy looked at his leg as it bounced impatiently, his hands fidgeting too. His breathing was fast, and he couldn’t seem to keep his focus on one spot. She wasn’t sure whether she should try to calm him or not. She wasn’t sure how to react to anything that was happening. All she knew is that Erend needed her strength.

She laid her hand on his thigh as he bounced it up and down. He looked down at her hand, then at his hands. It was as if he hadn’t noticed what he’d been doing, and Aloy’s calming presence had brought him back down to earth.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” he said suddenly. 

Aloy didn’t respond, only nodded. She’d left her hand on his thigh. He reached down and wrapped his fingers around hers, his blood pressure beginning to return to normal. 

Finally, as the morning sun climbed into the sky, four Oseram walked into the square with chains in their hands. Behind them, four large pulleys were being pushed towards the centre of the square, and were slowly placed in a circle around Dervahl. One of the members of the Council of Clans verified them, and checked to make sure that they were properly faced towards the four directions. Satisfied, the council member nodded to the four Oseram carrying the chains. Dervahl’s wrists and ankles were bound, and then his shackles were removed. Once the chains were secured to the pulleys, the council member nodded. A cheer went up from the crowd as the chains were pulled forward one link, and locked into place. About fifteen minutes later, another link of chain rolled through each of the pulleys. Again, the crowd cheered.

It took hours and hours for Dervahl to die. Aloy could hear the pop of his joints as they dislocated. She watched as his skin, tendons, muscles, and veins stretched until they could stretch no more, giving way to the pressure of the pulleys. Dervahl was conscious through most of it, screaming himself hoarse. It was almost dark by the time his blood began to pool around his broken body, or what was left of it.

When Dervahl was pronounced dead, the stands began to empty. Erend stayed, his eyes still on the body in the square. He and Aloy sat in the growing dark, Erend unable to move from his spot. Once he left, that would be it. It would be over, and then it would start to become real. He wouldn’t be able to focus on revenge anymore. Justice had been served, and Dervahl had paid dearly for what he had done. Erend had not taken his eyes off of Dervahl’s suffering for even a moment, but it was done now and he would have to find a way to move on.

It was dark when Erend finally let out a loud sigh. “Ok, I’m ready now. Time to get drunk.”

They were walking towards the exit of the square, when Erend put a hand on Aloy’s arm. “One minute.” he said “There’s just one more thing I need to do.” Aloy watched as he walked over to the pieces of Dervahl’s body and.... Oh my, she thought. One last indignity.

Erend walked back towards her, not entirely able to look her in the eyes. What must she think of him? “Alright, NOW it’s time to get drunk.” 

They headed to the tavern that was closest to their inn, anticipating that it would be difficult to get Erend back there come the end of the night. Aloy went to sit at a table in the corner while Erend went to the bar and ordered four of the biggest mugs of ale she’d ever seen. He set them on the table and plunked himself into one of the chairs. “Right, well…”

“Have at it.” Aloy said, as she settled in to her chair. She was going to be there a while.

Erend drained mug after mug of ale, the first four were only his warm-up round. He didn’t say much while they sat there, only mentioning how out of practice he was. Aloy realized that he was right, he’d had one or two ales here and there during their time in The Claim; but since the day she’d met him at Red Ridge Pass to investigate Ersa’s murder, she’d never seen him drunk.

It was the wee hours of the morning when Erend finally stopped. Aloy had never seen anyone that drunk before in her life. He could no longer stand on his own two feet, and couldn’t walk on his own. His arms seemed to have a mind of their own, and his eyes were almost completely closed. It had been hours since he’d been able to speak properly, lifting a finger in the direction of the bar instead of actually ordering. Aloy paid his tab, Erend having given her all of his shards, and she helped him to stand. She tried to keep him steady as she ducked under his arm and took hold of his wrist, trying to support some of his weight. He was so much bigger than her, and so heavy, that her knees threatened to buckle. But, slowly, they made their way to the inn. 

As they walked down the street towards the inn, Aloy’s braids seemed to catch Erend’s attention. He grabbed them, gently enough, and ran his fingers along them. He played with the beads at the end of each braid, rolling them between his fingers. He began to mumble, but Aloy couldn’t make out a word that he was saying. 

Erend hadn’t considered, when he decided to get drunk, how the ale would loosen his tongue. So he was lucky that he was talking in a slurred jumble, because all of the walls that he’d built around his heart came tumbling down as he drank. He had gotten drunk to stop feeling for a while, both about the loss of Ersa and the sadness at what he couldn’t have with Aloy. But he hadn’t thought that he would also stop feeling the hesitation around her, the sense of obligation to their friendship. 

As they walked, Erend poured out his true feelings for Aloy. He loved her, he said. More than he ever thought possible. He wanted to spend his life by her side, he told her. She was everything that he’d ever wanted, and he would spend the rest of his life trying to be worthy of her.

But Aloy understood none of it. He rattled on and on, not one single coherent word coming out of his mouth. 

They were soon at the inn, although not soon enough for Aloy. She pushed him up the stairs, each step a challenge. He slid across the wall as she pulled him towards their room.  
Aloy took Erend’s hammer from his back and let him fall onto the bed. She leaned the hammer against the wall near the door, where she knew he liked to keep it, and began removing his boots. She unbuckled his chaps, her fingers nervous. It felt awkward to her, to be undressing Erend, touching him like this. Grateful as the belt slid through the buckle, she moved to his breastplate. He moaned, his body dead weight. Why hadn’t they thought to come back to the inn and remove all of this BEFORE going to the tavern? She tugged and pulled on his breastplate, and finally managed to get it out from underneath him. She wondered whether she should bother with his tunic, and decided against it. It just wasn’t worth the trouble.

Aloy pushed Erend’s body around on the bed, pleading with him to help her. When he’d flopped onto the bed, he’d landed diagonally, taking most of the space. Aloy didn’t care which side of the bed he took, but he could only have one.

Erend finally settled, Aloy began peeling off her own armour. It had been a long day and an even longer night, a day full of ups and downs. She was exhausted, mentally and emotionally, and she tried to imagine how much worse Erend was feeling. Or had felt, rather – he wasn’t feeling much of anything at the moment.

Finally, she was ready to go to bed. She crawled over Erend’s legs, placing her knees between each of his calves as she moved across his body. She could have probably rolled over him like a barrel and he wouldn’t have noticed, she thought. She wiggled herself beneath the sheets, and then propped herself up on her elbow. Erend laid beside her, his mouth wide open. She giggled softly, amused by how ridiculous he looked laying there like that. My poor Erend, she thought. Even HIS shoulders aren’t strong enough to carry the weight of everything he’d been through. Aloy caressed his face and kissed his forehead, wishing him goodnight. 

Erend didn’t wake until almost midday, and even then he didn’t want to get out of bed. He laid there, groaning, until Aloy returned about a half hour later, having gone to get supplies in the market.

He tried to sit up when she walked in, but she pushed him back down onto the bed. “I brought you some water” she told him, pointing to the pitcher. “I can go get you something to eat if you…”

“NO!” Erend cut her off, his hand moving to cover his mouth. “No food.”

“OK, alright. Can I at least go downstairs and get you some of that special Oseram tea? You know, the one you gave me when I’d had a bit too much mead.”

Erend knew that the tea would not be enough to cure this hangover, but it might help to take the edge off. By the forge, how much had he had to drink last night? He couldn’t remember a thing, and he hadn’t been this sick in years.

“Please, that would be really good.” he said, and Aloy spun around and headed out the door. 

Erend finally noticed the pile of armour laying near the bed. Had he taken it off himself? He thought that it was pretty unlikely, given how drunk he must have been. Plus, he’d usually just sleep in his armour after a night of drinking. Which meant that Aloy must have taken it off. His cheeks burned in shame at the thought of what he must have put her through last night. He owed her so much already, and now she’d done this for him. Anyone else would have left him in a puddle of sick in an alley, but Aloy carried him here, undressed him, put him to bed, and was now getting him tea. I don't deserve her, he thought, I really don’t.

He looked again at the armour on the floor, and an image suddenly popped into his mind – Aloy undressing him. Aloy standing over him as she unbuckled his chaps, her fingers brushing against the lines of his lower stomach. Aloy leaning over him, her skin grazing against his. Aloy on her knees in front of him, helping with his boots. His mind bounced around, images and ideas crashing into one another. He couldn’t hold them back, feeling too sick to fight against them. She’d be coming back soon with his tea, he knew, but a part of him wished that he’d have had just a little more time alone with his thoughts.

Erend had been right, it was only a few minutes later that Aloy returned with a large pot of Oseram tea. She set it on the table near the bed, then helped Erend to sit up. She gave him a mug of the hot tea and sat down beside him as he drank it.

“Aloy, thank you so much. This is exactly what I needed.” Erend said between sips.

“It’s no problem, Erend. I told you that I’d take care of you, and I knew when I said that that it would include all of this.”

Again, he marveled at his incredible luck in finding someone so loyal and kind. He sipped a bit more, feeling the tea as it chipped away at the pounding in his head.

“I hope that I didn’t do anything awful last night. I don’t remember anything.”

“You were fine, Erend. I helped you home, you mumbled something I didn’t understand, you found my braids fascinating for some reason, you planted yourself on the bed while I tried to take off your armour, and then you slept looking like you were trying to catch a bird in your mouth.” She did her best imitation of him, eyes closed and mouth wide open. He laughed, then groaned loudly. That had hurt.

“Wait, I found your braids fascinating?” 

“Yah, your kept playing with them when we were walking. You rubbed them, twirled them in your fingers, things like that. I have to admit, it was a bit distracting. You’re awfully heavy, you know.”

“And I mumbled things?” he asked, suddenly apprehensive.

“Mmhmm, but there weren’t any actual words or anything like that. It seemed to be about me, but I couldn’t tell you what it was.”

Erend, you idiot, he scolded himself. He had a pretty good idea of the sorts of things he would have been mumbling.

He drank some more tea, and when he finished the pot, Aloy brought him another. He also drank the water she’d brought him, feeling better by the minute. Once night had fallen, he felt well enough to venture downstairs and consider testing whether his stomach would accept a hot meal.

Aloy ate supper while Erend nibbled on some fresh bread and scrambled eggs. 

“So, tomorrow then?” Erend asked “assuming I’m back in fighting form by then.”

“That’s what I was thinking. I stocked up on supplies this morning while you were sleeping.”

Meridian, Erend thought. It was time to go back to normal life. He had new recruits to train, a city to rebuild, so much that was there waiting for his return. But going back to normal life also meant that he wouldn’t be spending every minute of every day with Aloy. What would she do, he wondered. The whole world was a possibility for her. He didn’t dare ask, afraid of her answer.

They went back to their room and packed their bags, planning to leave early the next morning. They bathed quickly, not knowing when they’d get the chance again, and got ready for bed. As always, Aloy crawled in first and Erend followed behind her. He was just beginning to wrap his arms around her when she gave a little jump.

“Oh, my focus. I almost forgot to take it off.”

Erend watched as she slipped the focus from her ear. When she leaned across him to set it on the table beside the bed, time seemed to slow down. She seemed to move in slow motion as her hair tickled against his bare chest, her thin undertunic slid against his skin. The images that he’d formed in his head earlier that day came roaring back, and his nose filled with the sweet scent of her freshly washed skin. His hand lifted, unbidden, and found her waist as she put her hand on his chest to steady herself. Erend’s breath quickened and his lips twitched, desperate to kiss her. 

She slid her hand across his chest as she sat back down, her focus now safely on the table. It left a trail of beautiful sensations in its wake, and her soft caress made every muscle in his body clench. 

Aloy looked at him, his breath ragged and his eyes squeezed shut. She thought that he must be feeling ill again, and she laid down to sleep. Erend, knowing that she’d noticed, waited for his heart to stop racing. 

_________ 

They left early the next morning, mindful of the many days of travel ahead of them. They’d have to stop in Longlake, Erend said, to say a proper goodbye to Olrick and the other freebooters. Erend also wanted to check that the six new recruits had gone to Meridian as expected. Erend knew that a quick stop in Brighthill was also required, but he’d make up an excuse for that somewhere along the way.

They made good time, traveling quickly across The Claim. As always, the conversation flowed effortlessly between them, with occasional lulls of comfortable silence. They fell back into their routine easily, of hunting and setting up camp, and the days passed in a blur.

As promised, they stopped in Longlake. They arrived in the late afternoon, and immediately went to the inn to get their rooms for the night. It felt a bit strange to Erend to know that Aloy wouldn’t be beside him as he slept, and he realized that he’d gotten used to her always being by his side. He dropped his pack in his room and stared at the empty bed for a while, surprised at the feeling of loneliness that overcame him. He’d have to get over that, he told himself. Soon, they’d be back in Meridian and things would go back to the way they had been. 

They seized the opportunity to get cleaned up, both relishing a good scrub and a change of clothes after several days on the road. Erend also wanted to visit the barber, knowing that it was his last chance before getting back to Meridian. 

When Erend walked into the shop, he wasn’t surprised to see that the barber was busy with another customer. The barbershop was always one of the main hubs of any Oseram community, after all. He was, however, a bit surprised to see that it was one of his freebooter friends, Dax. 

“Erend! Glad to see you’re back again!” Dax said from the barber’s chair.

“Heh Dax. Yah, just heading back to Meridian. We wanted to stop and say a proper goodbye to everyone, we were in a bit of a rush when we left last time.”

“Olrick said something about you coming back through here. He’s planning a special send-off, by the sounds of it.”

Erend chuckled. “That sounds about right.”

The barber wiped the shaving oil from Dax’s scalp, having finished with his task. Dax stood and thanked the barber, handing him the shards he’d earned. 

“I’ll go find him” Dax said to Erend as he was leaving the shop. “and let him know that you’re here.”

“That’d be great, thanks Dax.” Erend replied. “See you tonight.”

Dax nodded and turned to go, while Erend made his way to the barber’s chair.

________________

Olrick had promised them a proper send-off, and he was true to his word. Every freebooter in the village came to the lakeshore that night, knowing that it would be a very long time before they had a chance to see their old friend Erend again. 

As before, Erend and Aloy arrived just after sunset, and found the party already well underway. They savoured one last plateful of smoked meats, their last before leaving The Claim, and helped themselves to mugfuls of cold brew. As she was eating, Aloy realized that she was sad to be leaving. She’d grown really fond of The Claim and its people. People here were genuine, she thought to herself, and nobody stared at her. Here, she wasn’t the All-Mother’s Anointed One. Nor was she the Incredible, Invincible Aloy, savior of Meridian. No, here she was just Erend’s friend Aloy, and she found that she liked that very much.

Neither Erend nor Aloy drank much that night, but nobody seemed to mind. They circulated among the partygoers, talking and laughing. Aloy was more at ease this time, her nerves about meeting the freebooters having passed. But while she really enjoyed their company, a part of her was also sad. Here was one more thing that she’d missed out on as an outcast, she thought to herself. 

Erend found Olrick sitting on a log, and sat down beside him. They gazed out over the party, sipping their ales.

“Mainspring….” Olrick started, not sure where to begin.

“Went about as you would expect. He got the pulley. I got blindingly drunk.” Olrick winced when Erend said the word pulley – what a fitting end to that awful man, he thought.

“And Forgeview?” he asked, not needing to elaborate.

“It was good. The clan took to Aloy, as everyone does.” Erend stopped and drank from his mug. “Ersa and I had a good long talk.”

Olrick nodded and drank from his own mug.

They sat and stared into the fire for a while longer. 

“Are you going to be hanging around Longlake for a while?” Erend asked him. He knew that Olrick bounced around, as many freebooters do.

“Not sure. Got word of a possible job in Breakcliff, so I might head out that way.”

Olrick was trying to find the words to ask the question that he really wanted to ask, about the future and about Aloy, but they wouldn’t come. He got the sense that Erend wouldn’t have been able to answer it anyway.

As the party started to wind down, Erend and Aloy said their goodbyes. There were plenty of warm hugs and a few tears shed. It was clear that Erend was well loved by his freebooter family. Finally, it was time to go, and Olrick walked with them as they slowly made their way back to the inn. 

Aloy had spent most of the evening talking to Erend’s various friends, listening to stories of his days as a freebooter. She wasn’t surprised to hear what a troublemaker he’d been, nor that he had always been up for having a good time.

“So, Erend, I understand that you liked to cause a bit of mischief back in the day?” she teased him.

Olrick let out a loud laugh, his eyes dancing. “A BIT of mischief? Erend here was the king of mischief. There isn’t a freebooter around who doesn’t have at least one story.”

“Ah, come on Olrick, I was a stupid kid. You weren’t perfect yourself, if I remember correctly.”

They laughed, and Olrick and Erend began to trade stories as they walked, one-upping each other at every turn. Aloy just listened, wishing again that she could have known Erend when he was younger.

Once they reached the front door of the inn, the laughter stopped. Aloy hung back as Olrick turned towards Erend. They looked at each other for a moment, both dreading the inevitable goodbye. 

“Erend, you are my oldest and most precious friend. Travel well.” Olrick hugged him tightly, hoping that his embrace told Erend all of the things that words couldn’t. When they pulled apart, Olrick turned towards Aloy.

“Aloy, you are much too good for this dumb lug. I can only assume that you’re mad, or paying a penance of some sort. Either way, take care of him for me, would you?”

“I will Olrick. And I’m really happy that I got to meet you. Thank you for all the kindness you’ve shown me.”

“My beautiful Aloy, it was my pleasure.” Olrick hugged her warmly. ‘”Travel well.”

And with that, Olrick disappeared into the night. Erend sighed, and followed Aloy inside. 

Neither of them slept well that night, despite being tired. They had already grown used to the warm presence of the other, of the sound of their breathing in the dark. Aloy’s bed felt empty, and she reached for Erend more than once.

___________

They stopped briefly in Brighthill, Erend saying something about a message for Blameless Marad. Aloy assumed that it came from someone in Marad’s network of spies, so she didn’t ask any questions. She sat on the bench in the marketplace and waited for him to return.

When he walked in to Olom’s shop, the old man’s face lit up.

“Ah, Erend, you’re back. Come, come see what I’ve put together for your Aloy.” he said, waving Erend into a small room in the back of the workshop.

From beneath a soft cloth, Olom pulled a wide metal cuff that was unlike anything that Erend had ever seen. The metal had been hammered until it was incredibly thin, and curved into the same shape as the leather archer’s cuff that Aloy wore. Olom had cut out bits of the metal from the centre of the bracelet, in the shape of small arrowheads. The arrows were stacked one on top of the other all across the piece, with only a thin strip of metal left between each of them. It was strong yet delicate, like her. He had dipped it into a solution that made the metal turn a reddish hue, reminding Erend of Aloy’s hair when it shone in the sunlight.

Erend was at a loss for words, it was more perfect than he could have ever wished for. He tried to pay Olom, but the old man refused to accept anything in return for the gift. He wrapped it for Erend, who tucked it safely into his pack, and waved him off. 

Aloy and Erend resumed their walking, Erend’s mind swimming again. As Brighthill faded into the fog behind them, Erend tried to decide when would be the right time to give Aloy this gift. He finally settled on their first night back in Meridian. It would be a fitting end to their trip together, he decided, and would allow him to thank her properly for staying by his side these past weeks.

_________

The return trip to Meridian was much less eventful than the first time they’d crossed the Sundom together. There were no freak storms, no machine threats, no horrible dreams of war, only day after day of endless walking. Neither of them minded, though. In fact, Aloy was secretly happy that Erend had refused to let her override some machines for them to ride when they first started out. This trip would have been much different, she thought, if they hadn’t spent it side by side.

Uneventful, that was, until they neared Cut-Cliffs. Their days of walking and chatting with one another had lulled them both into a state of complacency. Aloy, who on her own was normally so alert to her surroundings, didn’t notice the telltale signs around them until it was almost too late. It was the sound of a twig snapping nearby that woke her from her reverie, and she immediately put her hand on Erend’s chest to stop him.

“What is it?” he asked her in the faintest of whispers.

She slowly pulled her bow from her back. “Bandits.” she mouthed to him.

Erend gave her a quick nod, then pulled his hammer from its place on his back. Aloy pointed, indicating that she would go up the rock wall to the right of them. Erend waited, watching her climb up the slippery rocks. He knew she’d done it a thousand times, but it still made him nervous to see her scrambling up the nearly sheer slope. When she was in position, she signaled to him.

When they’d first set out, weeks ago, they had discussed strategy for exactly this sort of situation. They knew that, if they did run into bandits, there wouldn’t be time to decide who would do what. So they’d planned, and Erend had insisted that he be the one to draw the bandits out of hiding. He’d made his case from practical standpoint – his armour was better for close quarters combat, her use of ranged weapons was superior – but he also knew that he would rather face twenty bandits alone than allow her to be the bait. A part of him was upset with himself for having that attitude – Aloy had taken out at least a dozen bandit camps, all on her own. A few roadside outlaws were nothing to her, and he knew it. But he also knew that he would never be able to stand by while she walked into an ambush, no matter how skilled she was. It wasn't about her and what she could do - it was about him, and what he couldn't.

On her signal, Erend began walking down the path, towards the bottleneck created by high cliffs on either side of the path. It was the perfect ambush site, he thought to himself as he walked towards it.

Erend stopped when three men emerged from behind a pile of boulders. They blocked the path, sneering at him.

“Your shards or your life.” one of them said. He appeared to be the leader of this little group of criminals.

Erend scoffed. “There are only three of you. I don’t even need a weapon to take three of you.”

The leader smiled menacingly, then signaled. A dozen more bandits emerged from their various hiding spots on either side of the path. 

Erend laughed. “Now, that’s more like it.”

The leader had a look of confusion on his face, unsure why this lone man seemed excited to be facing fifteen armed marauders. 

Erend smiled widely. Now it was his turn to be menacing. “You’re going to regret this decision for the rest of your lives, my friends. The next two minutes of your sorry, worthless lives.”

The words had barely escaped his mouth when the bandit leader dropped to the ground, an arrow lodged deeply in his skull. The rest of the bandits froze in shock, not knowing what to make of what had just happened. 

Erend and Aloy used this to their advantage. Aloy picked off several more bandits, arrows piercing their heads in quick succession. Erend charged forward, swinging his hammer and caving in the skulls of the two that had stood on either side of the bandit leader. 

Aloy and Erend made quick work of the remaining bandits. Erend attacked those that were on the ground, while Aloy shot those that were perched above the path. It took only minutes for the entire gang to fall. And, true to what Erend had said, the witless bandits did indeed regret their decision to attack these two particular travelers, paying for the mistake with their lives.

Erend waited on the path, now strewn with bodies, while Aloy climbed down from her hiding spot above him. He wiped the blood and gore from his hammer onto the shirt of one of the bandits before returning it to its spot on his back. He barely heard Aloy approaching him from behind, but he’d learned to recognize the soft sound of her muffled steps.

“I actually felt the wind from that first arrow on my cheek.” he said. “Nice shot, as always.” He turned around and smiled at her as she approached. “Ready to get back on the road?”

Aloy looked around at the bandits they’d just dispatched. Normally, when she was by herself, she took a few minutes to search their pockets and bags, but decided that she would forego it this time. 

“Yah, let’s go.” she said as she started walking, falling into step beside Erend as they continued on towards the gleaming city in the distance.

They stopped to make camp a little earlier than usual when they came across the perfect spot. They both knew that they were less than a day’s walk from Meridian, so this would be the last night of their trip and they wanted to enjoy it. When Aloy came back from hunting, a large turkey slung over her shoulder, Erend waved at her to follow him. She dropped the bird next to the fire ring Erend had built, and followed him wordlessly.

Erend led her to a small rocky outcrop, a spot that he’d discovered while gathering wood for the fire. They climbed up onto the overlook and sat down side by side for their favourite ritual of the day – watching the sunset together.

Every night since leaving Mainspring, they’d taken a few minutes together to enjoy the breathtaking beauty of the sun as it painted the sky above them. These moments were quiet, contemplative, and somehow intimate. Neither of them ever said a single word, and yet both knew exactly what the other was feeling.

When the colour had bled from the sky and the stars were twinkling above them, Erend let out a loud sigh. 

“Well, I guess that’s it then.” he said, his voice tinged with regret.

Aloy, looking at him with sadness in her eyes, nodded. Erend leaned against her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, and kissed her forehead. They stayed there for a few minutes more, drawing out the moment as long as they could, before heading back to their campsite.

Though neither had intended it, both Aloy and Erend slowed down a bit on their last day of travel, unconsciously hoping to extend their time together as much as possible. Neither of them were ready for their trip together to be over, as difficult as it had been. But eventually, they reached the elevators and rose up to the top of the mesa, Meridian unfurling before them like a blossom in the late afternoon sun.

As they walked through the city, they noticed the changes that the city had undergone since their departure. Rebuilding continued all around them, and although the end was not yet in sight, a great deal of progress had been made in their absence. 

Erend also noticed the knowing glances and coy smiles of a few of the vanguard they met in the street. 

“Welcome back, Captain, it’s good to see you again. Did you enjoy your time away?” Roan asked him, an air of innocence in his voice. 

Erend scowled at them, ignoring their snickers. He hoped that Aloy hadn’t noticed him squirming. It was fine for them to tease him when it was just them, but why did they have to insist on doing it in front of her?

The hustle and bustle of the city felt strange, almost foreign, after having spent so many days by themselves. They’d grown used to the sounds of the wind in the tall grass, the soft crunch of gravel beneath their feet as they walked. They bristled against the shouts of the hawkers in the market, both wishing for the peace and quiet of the wilds. 

It wasn’t long before they were standing of front of Erend’s door, their journey at an end. They both shifted on their feet, an awkward feeling settling between them. For the past several weeks, they’d spent their days and nights together, sharing the deepest and most vulnerable parts of themselves. Now, it was over. Were they expected to just go back to the way things were? Did they even remember what that looked like? Neither could remember what their life had been like, before the other had come and remade it entirely.

Aloy wondered whether Olin’s apartment was still being used as a temporary shelter, the night having already begun to fall. She was about to bid him goodnight when Erend stopped her.

“I don’t know if you had given any thought to where you would sleep tonight, but I’d like it if you stayed here with me.”

Aloy hesitated. His request had a weight to it, she felt, it represented something larger that she couldn’t put her finger on. It was one night, she thought, so why did it feel like she was agreeing to stay forever?

“Alright, I’ll stay here tonight.”

Erend hadn’t realized that he had been holding his breath, until he heard her answer. He smiled as relief flooded him, and held open the door for her.

Once inside, the exhausted pair began peeling off packs, weapons, and layers of armour. Relieved of her burden, Aloy flopped down in the sitting room and tipped her head back onto the cushion behind her.

“Aloy.” Erend said hesitantly. By the forge, why was he suddenly so nervous? “There was something that I wanted to give you.” He reached down into his pack, fishing around until he found what he’d been looking for. He went to stand in front of her, the bundle held in his hands in front of him. “I really don’t know what I ever did to deserve someone like you in my life. Over the past few weeks, you have helped me in ways that I can’t even name; held me up when I didn’t have the strength to stand on my own. You have stayed by my side through every storm imaginable, and I truly don’t know if I could have done any of it without you. There is no way that I can ever really thank you for seeing me through this, but I wanted to try.” He handed her the bundle, which she took gently from him. She looked at him incredulously, words failing her.

“Erend, you really didn’t need to get me anything. If anything, it’s me who should be thanking you. You started this, by standing at my side when I needed you most. “

He just looked at her, the bundle still resting in her palms as if it might explode at any moment. “Open it.”

Aloy looked at the bundle for some time before setting it in her lap. This was one of the only presents that she’d ever received from someone other than Rost, and she wanted to savour the moment.

She carefully untied the knots in the pale fabric of the bundle, and unrolled it. When she saw what was inside, she gasped, her hand flying to her mouth. Tears filled her eyes, threatening to spill over as she stared at the beautiful bracelet.

“Erend, it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” she whispered, almost inaudibly. 

His heart soared at her words, making his whole body feel lighter, his fatigue evaporating. He watched as she slid the delicate cuff onto her wrist, gliding her finger along its elegant surface. Erend was overjoyed that she liked his gift - but the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen? Hardly, he thought. It wasn’t even the most beautiful thing in the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize if you found the description of Dervahl's execution to be too gory. Erend really needed to watch him pay for what he'd done to Ersa, and he needed to pay dearly.
> 
> If it wasn't clear from the description, the pulley is a cross between two medieval torture methods - "the rack" and being "drawn and quartered" (aka pulled apart by horses). If it sounded barbaric, that's because it was - but these are both real things that people have done to one another, and I wanted the story to have a certain ring of 'truth' or plausibility to it. 
> 
> I'll admit that a certain part of me also wanted Dervahl to get what was coming to him. I really hate that asshole.
> 
> Chapter Soundtrack:  
> Arms - Christina Perri*  
> Chasing cars - Snow Patrol  
> I can't make you love me - Bonnie Raitt  
> One and only - Adele  
> I wanna be yours - Arctic Monkeys  
> Why don't you love me? - Amanda Marshall  
> King of sorrow - Sade  
> Chasing pavements - Adele  
> Iris - Goo Goo Dolls  
> Shiver - Coldplay  
> Losing my religion - R.E.M.  
> You're beautiful - James Blunt  
> While my guitar gently weeps - The Beatles  
> Waiting in vain - Annie Lennox  
> Ghost - Indigo Girls  
> King of pain - Alanis Morissette  
> Crucify - Tori Amos  
> Black Cloud - Morrissey
> 
> *A special thanks to MightyLauren for the song suggestion. I hadn't been familiar with this song before she told me about it in a comment, and she was right - it fits perfectly. Thanks MightyLauren! :)


	8. Reward

When Erend reported for duty early the next morning, he was pleased to see how well things had gone during his absence. He was debriefed by his second in command and the heads of watch on the goings-on in Meridian while he was away, which turned out to be a fairly monotonous list of humdrum events. The only excitement had been the arrival of the six potential recruits a few days earlier. Members of the vanguard had helped to get them settled into the barracks and shown them around the city. The recruits had already begun working with the vanguard’s trainingmaster, and seemed to be adjusting well. 

When Erend arrived for his morning briefing with Avad, the Sun King’s face lit up at the sight of his vanguard Captain. 

“Erend! Welcome back, it’s so good to see you again.”

Erend smiled warmly. “Good morning, your highness. It’s good to see you too.”

“How was your trip?” Avad asked eagerly.

“It went well. The recruitment process….”

“Come on, Erend.” Avad said, cutting him off. “You know that’s not what I meant. We’ll get to that. I want to know how things went. The things that you didn’t already tell me about in the scroll you sent.”

Erend looked at him for a moment. Avad was smiling, an expectant look in his eye. Erend knew that he’d switched roles – he wasn’t Avad the Sun King right now. His ascension to the throne didn’t change the fact that they’d fought side by side, and would always be friends. And right now, Avad was talking to him as a friend. 

“It was… I don’t really know what to tell you Avad.” Erend said hesitantly. Where to start? “In some ways, it was incredible. Traveling with her, it was even better than I could have expected. We talked a lot, about all kinds of things, and shared some special moments together. We really got to know each other, you know? She got to meet my clan, who all loved her, and she got to meet some of my freebooter friends.” He stopped, sighing before continuing. “But it was also hard. We went to visit Ersa and spent some time with her. We watched Dervahl die a horrible, bloody death. We ran into a pretty terrible sand storm in the desert, and I had a sleepless night or two, thinking about the battle for Meridian and the soldiers I’d lost. There were a lot of ups and downs, Avad. I can’t make it simpler than that.”

Avad nodded contemplatively, taking in what Erend had said. He wished again that he would be able to visit Ersa’s gravesite, but he knew that it was impossible. 

“But I can tell you that I’m so happy that she offered to come with me. She helped with the recruitment process, and her insights were invaluable. But more importantly, she helped me to get through everything else. I don’t know what I would have done without her, Avad.” 

With that, Erend switched to the usual morning briefing, updating Avad on Meridian’s current security situation and the ongoing reconstruction efforts. 

While Erend was giving his briefing, Blameless Marad appeared beside them. Erend was used to the quiet comings and goings of the Sun King’s top advisor, and didn’t miss a beat. He moved on to the topic of the new recruit training, and filled in the details of the recruitment process that hadn’t made it into the scroll he’d sent from Longlake. 

“Erend, I wanted to tell you how pleased I was to learn of your decision to bring the six recruits here to Meridian. It was the right choice.” Avad said.

Erend nodded in acknowledgement of the praise. “Thank you, your highness, but it was actually Aloy’s idea. We had spent hours going back and forth between the candidates when she suggested that we might want to test them further before making a decision.”

“A wise woman, that Aloy.” Avad said with a smile. “And you’re a wise man for having taken her advice.” 

“I thought that you should know, Erend, that I’ve sent word to my network of informants.” Marad offered, jumping into the conversation. “They are looking into the background of each of the potential recruits, to see if there is any cause for concern. I don’t suspect anything, but I thought that you’d want to be sure before making your final choice.”

“Thank you, Marad.” Erend replied. “I’m sure that whatever information they find will be helpful.”

The morning briefing complete, Avad dismissed him. Erend made his way down to the vanguard barracks, where he would hand out assignments and brief the vanguard on duty that day. He was looking forward to seeing them all again, even though he knew that they were going to be all over him the second he stepped into the room.

He wasn’t wrong. They practically tripped over one another, trying to get a jab in. 

“Shut it, all of you! Sit your asses down so we can get started.” Erend yelled over the din. He hoped that they’d drop it soon, or this was going to be a very long day.

__________________

Erend settled back into his familiar routine more easily than Aloy did. She didn’t quite know what to do with herself on her first day back in the city, so she decided to go on a machine hunt. There weren’t many machines in the area around Meridian, as she’d cleared them all before she’d left, but she found a few. She brought the valuable parts back to the city and sold them in the market, pocketing the shards.

It took a few days for things to start to get back to normal. Erend spent his days at work, catching up on what he’d missed and overseeing recruit training. Aloy spent her time hunting, either animals or machines, and selling the fruits of her labour at the market each night. 

___________________

Aloy had had a particularly good day of hunting, the shards in her pocket rattling as she walked. She had killed several boar, along with a few foxes and a turkey. She’d sold the skins of the foxes and boar to the tannery, and the meat to the butcher, but she decided to keep the turkey for herself. Erend had been so kind to her, insisting that she continue to stay with him, and she wanted to do something nice for him. She decided, as she was walking towards the city, that she would make him supper that night. 

Once she was back at the apartment, she took some time to get herself cleaned up. It had been a hot, muggy day and she was dirty from head to toe. She bathed and changed into a clean tunic, slipping her new bracelet onto her wrist. She took a moment to admire its beauty before going down to the kitchen to begin cooking.

It had been a long day for Erend, and he was tired and hungry. He walked into the apartment and immediately smelled the aroma of turkey coming from the kitchen. There were other smells that he couldn’t place, but he forgot about them when Aloy poked her head around the corner and greeted him.

“Welcome home! Supper’s almost ready.” she said, before going back to her task.

Erend walked towards the kitchen, but stopped at the entryway. It looked like every pot and pan that he’d ever owned, every knife and every bowl, had been used to make their nighttime meal. There were stacks of dirty dishes everywhere, the entire kitchen in complete disarray.

“Oh, don’t worry, I’ll clean up once we’re done.” Aloy said, noticing the look of surprise on his face.

“It’s not that.” Erend replied. “I just didn’t know that you cooked. It looks like we’re in for a treat, you really went to a lot of work for this.”

“I just wanted to show my appreciation, for letting me stay here. It’ll be ready in just a few minutes, but you’ve got time to get washed up if you want.”

Erend headed upstairs to wash off the long day, his stomach growling. She never ceased to surprise him.

Erend had always loved to cook. It was something that he’d done for Ersa, to welcome her home after a long day. He hadn’t done much cooking since she’d passed, both because it was a painful reminder and because his duties as Captain had kept him too busy. But he’d always found it relaxing, and it was a good way to show love to the people that he cared about. Maybe, he thought, he and Aloy could start a new tradition together. He thought about spending his evenings in the kitchen with her, chatting and cooking together, and he smiled.

Aloy was just setting the food on the table when Erend came back downstairs. He sat down and filled his plate, following Aloy’s lead. 

Aloy was the first to take a bite of the supper she’d worked so hard to prepare. “Oh, wow.” she said, looking down at her plate.

Encouraged, Erend took a big mouthful of food.

“No! Erend, wait!” Aloy cried when she looked up and saw that he was shoveling food into his mouth. But she was too late. Her eyes grew wide, silently apologizing.

Erend couldn’t believe it. He’d never tasted anything so awful in his entire life. He’d eaten mouldy soldier’s rations that tasted better – much better, in fact. He tried to swallow the mouthful that was assaulting his tastebuds, but it took effort to get it down – and even then, it threatened to come back. His eyes watered, his face twisting into a grimace. By the forge, he thought, what is this?

Erend looked at Aloy, her eyes beginning to fill with unshed tears. He felt like a heel for his reaction – she’d gone to all this work just to thank him, and this is how he showed his appreciation?

“It’s not that bad, Aloy, really.” he said halfheartedly.

“Oh come on, Erend. It’s disgusting. I tasted it too, remember.” Aloy said dejectedly.

Erend tried to think of something encouraging to say, but fell short. “Yah, it’s pretty awful.” he said as he began to laugh. 

Aloy’s head shot up, surprised. But as she watched him laughing at the unmitigated disaster in front of him, she began to laugh too. “Well, I think that we’ve found something else to add to the list of things that I can’t do.”

“Uh, yah.” Erend said, as he began to laugh harder. “What happened?”

“Well, I don’t usually cook.” Aloy started.

“You don’t say?” Erend cut in mockingly.

Aloy shot him a good natured glare. “I don’t usually cook because I’m either roasting meat over a fire or eating at a tavern. Rost did all of our cooking at home, so I’ve never really learned. When I saw your cupboard of spices, I thought well, if one spice is good, more should be better, right? So, I put a little bit of everything.”

Erend looked over at his well-stocked cupboard, overflowing with small jars of herbs and spices of every kind. “Wait, you used EVERYTHING in the cupboard?”

“Yah, I sure did. It looks like that wasn’t such a good idea after all.” 

“No, I guess not.” Erend said as they both began laughing again.

“Well, we can’t eat this, so I’ll tell you what. To make it up to you, let me treat you to supper at the tavern.” Aloy offered.

Erend nodded and watched Aloy as she dumped the contents of their plates into the trash. He still felt bad, seeing all of her hard work go to waste, but not so bad that he’d take another bite. By the forge, it really had been inedible.

Leaving the dishes for later, they headed towards the tavern. As soon as they walked in, they spotted a few of the vanguard sitting near the back, and headed towards them. Kort waved at them as they approached the table, and everyone greeted them warmly. It took only a minute for chairs to be added around the table, everyone shifting to make enough room for the two newcomers.

While Aloy had always felt awkward around the members of the vanguard, she was a bit more at ease now. Spending time with the freebooters and Erend’s clan had helped her feel more comfortable around others, less self-conscious during conversations with people she didn’t know well. She began to chat with Ando, who was sitting next to her.

Erend noticed the difference in Aloy immediately. Before leaving for The Claim, she’d always been so shy in social situations – never more so than sitting in the tavern with the vanguard. Seeing her come out of her shell gave Erend a warm feeling in his chest. She was putting her days as an outcast behind her, he realized, watching her smile at Ando’s story. 

“So, Aloy, what did you think of The Claim?” Roan asked eagerly. Every head at the table turned towards her, anxious to hear her answer. 

Aloy thought for a moment, trying both to formulate her answer and calm her nerves. She’d never liked being the centre of attention.

“I really liked it there.” she started, watching the relief wash over the Oseram around her. “It’s not only beautiful, but the people that I met were so friendly and hospitable. Everyone made me feel welcome, going out of their way to be nice to me. I ate delicious food – and I would like to know why I can’t buy Oseram smoked meat in Meridian, by the way – and I got to try mead, which I liked.” The group cheered at that, bringing a shy smile to her face. “I would like to go back there some day, to spend more time if I can.”  
Every Oseram at the table beamed with pride, happy that their homeland had left such a good impression on her. 

Erend, for his part, was most happy to hear that she wanted to go back and spend more time there. He allowed himself to daydream for a minute, picturing the two of them there together, building a life. He snapped back to reality when he heard Reemo mention her bracelet.

“Aloy, I just wanted to say, that’s a beautiful bracelet that you’re wearing.”

“Thank you!” Aloy said. “It was a gift from Erend.” 

Erend stared at Reemo and gave his head a little shake. Please Reemo, he thought, don’t say anything. Reemo noticed, and gave a slow blink and the slightest of nods. He’d gotten the message – the bracelet’s origin was a secret. But everyone at the table had recognized Olom’s work, and while none of them had ever purchased a piece from the jeweler, they knew that it would have been very difficult for Erend to get one, and very expensive. 

Sorka reached across the table and took Aloy’s hand, so that she could see the cuff more clearly in the dimness of the tavern. She held it up to the lamplight, turning Aloy’s hand left and right as she watched the light shimmer on the bracelet’s delicate surface.

“Wow, Aloy, it really is beautiful. He couldn’t have chosen a better gift, you’d almost think that it had been made especially for you.” Sorka said, looking up at Erend through her eyelashes. Erend shifted uncomfortably in his seat, wishing that they’d move on to another subject. 

Ando, picking up on Erend’s discomfort, launched into a story about one of his many adventures. This one was about the time he’d melted down some of his sister’s favourite jewelry to make himself a knife. Erend was thankful and more than a little relieved, happy to have avoided that particular pitfall. Thank the forge for Ando and his ridiculous stories, Erend thought. 

After everyone had eaten and drank their fill, they began to trickle out of the tavern. They’d spent more time than they should have trading stories and jokes, but everyone had been having a good time and hadn’t noticed how late it was. Even Aloy had had a glass of mead, much to the delight of the vanguard. 

Erend had started to stand, to go pay their tab, when Aloy stopped him with a hand on his arm. “It’s my treat, remember?” she said, smiling. Erend sat back down as she twisted out of her chair and made her way to the bar.

Roan watched her go, waiting until she was out of earshot. He leaned towards Erend, and kept his voice low. “I see that you stopped in Brighthill.” the older man said knowingly. Erend looked at him, and gave a small nod that acknowledged a lot more than a mere stop in Brighthill. “I just wanted to tell you, Erend, that for all that we tease you, it makes us all really happy to see you happy. I don’t know a man anywhere more deserving than you, my friend.” 

Erend smiled, and gave another small nod. It wasn’t often that he felt deserving of happiness, having spent most of his life feeling like a curse upon those he loved. Even now, he thought to himself, as happy as he was – he didn’t have all of the happiness that he wished for. He didn’t know if he ever would, but maybe that was the price that he needed to pay for all of the pain he’d brought to others.

He noticed that Aloy was waving at him, having finished settling up with the bartender. He stood and gave Roan a pat on the back, wishing everyone good night. 

____________

Aloy groaned when they walked back into the apartment, having forgotten about the mess she’d left in the kitchen. She was tired, but she’d promised that she would do them when they got back. She had begun to make her way towards the kitchen when Erend grabbed her hand.

“Leave it. It’s late, and they’ll still be there tomorrow.” he said. 

Aloy looked at him over her shoulder, fighting with herself about whether or not to take his advice.

“Renda’s got a saying, you know. ‘I wish that I had the patience of dishes!’” Erend said, chuckling at his aunt’s odd expression. “Come on, let’s just go to bed.” he implored her.  
Erend watched as her shoulders slumped a little, giving in. He smiled at her, and pulled her by the hand up the stairs. 

When they stood in front of his bedroom door, he stopped and let go of her hand. “You know, I never thanked you before. I really appreciate the trouble you went to, to make supper for us. But it wasn’t necessary, you know. I’m happy that you’re here with me.” He smiled and gave her a tiny kiss on her forehead. “Good night, Aloy.” With that, he turned and went into Ersa’s room, to his little mat on the floor. It wasn’t comfortable, but in many ways it was easier. 

When Aloy woke early the next morning, she went straight downstairs to begin cleaning the kitchen. Her jaw hit the floor, however, when she walked in and found it spotless. Erend, who had already left for work, had obviously risen before dawn to clean the mess she’d left. She didn’t know whether to be happy, sad, or angry. She chose angry. She thought about marching down to the palace, or the barracks, or wherever it was that he’d be at this time of the morning, and giving him a piece of her mind. Why would he have done that, she asked herself. But the anger quickly passed. It was because he was Erend, she knew, and he always did whatever he could to make her life better, easier. She looked down at her bracelet, having slept with it on her wrist, and smiled. 

Aloy walked towards the palace, having asked some of the vanguard about Erend. This time of the day, he’d be at his work table in a room just behind the throne, they’d told her. She made her way up the steps, passing the long line of nobles who grumbled amongst themselves. What minor complaint had brought them all to line up today, she wondered to herself. She didn’t know how Avad could stand it, sitting all day and listening to their annoying grievances. Her eyes would have fallen out of her head eons ago, from having rolled them so much. 

Rather than turning left at the top of the stairs, towards the dais with the Sun King’s throne, she turned right, and found Erend’s work room right away. She hadn’t realized that she’d walked right past it several times, chief among them during her fight against Dervahl. But today, the door was open and Erend was sitting at his long work table, scrolls piled beside his arm. Aloy hung back from the doorway, taking a moment to look around the small space. There was a map of Meridian on the wall beside him, and a map of the Sundom hung opposite it. On the wall behind him hung a massive war hammer, beautifully engraved and inlaid with gold. The handle, too, was intricately carved and inlaid with gold. It was more a work of art than a weapon, and she doubted it had ever been swung, much less seen a day of action. It must have been a gift from Avad, Aloy thought, no one else could have commissioned such a fine piece.

Erend looked up from his work, his eyes wide with surprise. “Aloy!” he said, a bit taken aback. “What are you doing here? Is everything ok?” He stood, not sure what was going on. 

Aloy smiled reassuringly and strode towards him. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly, or at least as tightly as his armour would allow, then gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“What was that for?” Erend asked.

“For being you.” Aloy replied, smiling. “I saw what you did this morning, in the kitchen, and I wanted to thank you. You were just as tired as I was, and you didn’t need to clean up a mess that I’d made. But you did, and I wanted to make sure that you knew how grateful I am.”

Erend smiled at her. So that’s what this was about, he thought. He’d already forgotten all about the kitchen. 

“But Erend, if you ever pull a stunt like that again, I WILL kick your ass.” Aloy added sternly. Given the look on her face, he believed her. 

He held up his hands as if to surrender, then wrapped them around her again for another hug. If only every mundane chore was rewarded with a hug from Aloy, he thought. 

__________________ 

It was less than two weeks before the thought occurred to Aloy, but once it had she couldn’t shake it. She kept coming back to the same idea, and every time she did it tore her up inside. Rost. Watching Erend mourn his sister had been difficult, and now that they were back in Meridian she couldn’t stop thinking about how she had never properly mourned for Rost. She’d left so quickly after the Proving, and she had been so focused on getting to the bottom of the mystery that had unfolded before her, that she’d never gone back to visit his grave. She didn’t even know where he’d been buried. She wasn’t even sure if the Nora would have buried him at all, or whether he had been an outcast in death as he was in life. 

She had gone to find Elizabet, she told herself, a woman that she’d never met; but not Rost, the man who had raised her. Not yet. But she decided to change that.

Aloy spent the next few days resupplying, making enough arrows and traps to see her through the trip. She mended her armour and weapons, and made sure that she had everything she’d need to travel to The Sacred Lands. All that was left was to tell Erend she was leaving.

But she struggled to find the words. She and Erend had grown so close since the battle with HADES, closer than she thought was possible between two people, and part of her felt like she was abandoning him. She knew that she wasn’t, she knew she’d be back, but it didn’t change the way she felt. He’d understand, of that she had no doubt, just like he’d understood when she went to find Elizabet.

And there it was again. She’d gone to find Elizabet, but Rost was still lost to her. She had to go. 

She loaded up her pack and set it against the wall in the bedroom. Somehow, when Erend got home, she’d find a way to tell him.

When Erend got home that night, he hadn’t even finished taking off his armour before he noticed that Aloy was acting strangely. He wondered what had happened that day, why she didn’t seem to want to look at him. But then a heavy feeling settled in the bottom of his stomach, and he knew. Why did he have to fall in love with someone so incapable of sitting still, he wondered.

He went to sit beside her and sighed heavily. “When?”

If Aloy was surprised that he’d figured it out, she didn’t show it. “Tomorrow.”

Erend nodded and stared at the floor in front of his feet. 

“I won’t be gone long. It’s just that, spending time with you, and Ersa, reminded me that I’ve never mourned for Rost. I don’t know where he’s buried, or IF he’s buried, or anything. He raised me, Erend, he’s the only parent I’ve ever known. I need to go see him.”

Erend knew exactly how she felt. They were so alike, in their loss. 

The thought of their shared grief gave him an idea. He sat up straighter, and turned to Aloy. “Do you think that you could wait one more day?”

Aloy looked confused. “I guess one more day would be alright. Why?”

Erend was deep in thought. “Just give me a day, that’s all I’m asking.” 

Aloy nodded. What had she agreed to?

The next morning, as Erend walked to his briefing with Avad, his heart pounded. He’d spent most of the night trying to come up with the right way to ask what he wanted to ask, knowing what an unusual request it was.

Erend gave his briefing, updating Avad on the progress of recruit training, city reconstruction, and the overall security situation in Meridian and the Maizelands. Things were going well in the city, and it was quiet now that the Eclipse was no more. 

Erend hesitated, and Avad noticed him fidgeting. 

“Is there anything else, Erend?” Avad asked.

“Yes, your highness. One more thing. I, uh, I…”

Avad smiled, instantly recognizing the signs. Erend wanted to ask him something, but it was something that was hard to ask of a Sun King. “Would it be easier to say it to your friend, rather than your king?” He stood from his throne and motioned to Erend to follow him. They walked together to the nearby balcony that looked out over the city.  
“Now, what is it that you wanted to tell me, Erend?”

“Aloy is leaving, going back to The Sacred Lands for a while. She wants to pay her respects to Rost, the man who raised her. He was killed during the attack by the Eclipse, and she’s never had the chance to say goodbye. She’s helped me so much with Ersa, she held me up when I thought that I would be crushed under the weight of my grief. But she’ll be alone when she faces hers.”

“And you want to know if I would allow you to go with her.” Avad said, finishing Erend’s thought. 

“Yes. I know that it’s a lot to ask, that I’ve only just come back. But she helped me find Ersa, and stop Dervahl. She stood beside me in the fight for Meridian. She was with me in The Claim, and helped me more than you can ever imagine. We’ve stood beside one another through thick and thin these last few months, and it doesn’t feel right to leave her now.”

“I agree.” Avad said. Erend looked at him, his eyes wide with surprise. He hadn’t been sure what to expect, but it wasn’t that.

“Erend, you have done more for me and for Meridian than almost anyone else I know. You saved countless lives during and immediately after the attack on our city. I know that you spent every night, for weeks, helping to rebuild. And you traveled to The Claim only because I asked you to go. You have gone above what any reasonable person could ask of you, and I’ve never once heard you complain. You do your duty with honour.”

Avad paused before continuing. “I said that you had done more than almost anyone else. The only other person that I can think of who has done more is Aloy. Meridian is standing only because she warned us, and was ready to fight for us in our hour of need. It is now Aloy’s turn to need something of us, and I gladly give it.  
The city will be fine in your absence. The vanguard will watch over us as they await their Captain’s return.”

With that, Avad turned and returned to his throne. 

_________

As darkness fell, Aloy returned to the apartment after a long day of hunting. She was tired and dirty, and was looking forward to a good wash before Erend got home.  
She was surprised to see Erend already there when she walked in. His pack was leaned against the sitting room wall, surrounded by bundles of supplies. Aloy stopped and stared, not sure what she was looking at.

“Oh, heh, you’re back.” Erend said, smiling.

“What’s going on?” Aloy asked apprehensively. 

“I’m finishing up the last of my packing.”

Aloy looked at him. So that’s why he’d asked her to wait. “You’re coming with me?”

Erend walked over to her and placed his hands on her shoulders. “Did you really think that I would let you go alone, to mourn Rost by yourself, after all that you’ve done for me?”

“But….”

“I’m going, Aloy, end of discussion. You’ve spent enough time with my clan to know that it’s pointless to try and argue.”

Aloy stood in the middle of the sitting room, dumbfounded. She had wanted so desperately for him to come, but knew that she couldn’t ask that of him. He’d only just gotten back, he wouldn’t be able to leave again so soon.

“Avad…” she started.

“Avad told me that it was my duty to stand by you in your hour of need, just as you stood by Meridian when we needed you most.”

A wave of comfort washed over her. Erend would be there.

Her words were so soft that Erend almost didn’t hear them. “Thank you Erend.”

He looked into her sad eyes. “Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry that this chapter is so short, but I really struggled with it. I must have rewritten it 6 or 7 times, and that’s after having stared at a blinking cursor much longer than I would like to admit. I had no problem with the overall direction of the chapter, but getting the pacing right was really hard – it just felt too rushed (it still kinda does, but I’ve decided that I’m just going to post it and stop torturing myself over it). I’m finding it much harder to write about the day-to-day “meanwhile in Meridian” type things, especially given how easily the rest of it came. I suppose that I’m like that in real life too – I can talk your ear off about my latest backpacking trip to Jordan, or China, or Brazil, or wherever it is that my wanderings have taken me. But ask me how my week has been, and I draw a blank. I mean, I go to work, I go home, I make supper and do a few things in the evening (read, write, play my bass, play games, watch TV, whatever. I might even talk to my husband on occasion!) and then go to bed. Rinse and repeat ad infinitum. Not much to talk about, when you think about it. So, anyway, sorry for a crappy chapter. I so wanted it to be better than this. Who knows, maybe inspiration will strike someday soon and I'll come back and fix it. 
> 
> I just wanted to mention, briefly, that I somehow managed to work a little bit more of Erend’s clan into this chapter, and I couldn’t be happier about that. At one point, he tells Aloy that his aunt Renda has an old expression about patience. That expression is actually one that my paternal grandmother used to have. “Avoir la patience de vaiselle.” she used to say (literally: to have the patience of dirty dishes). She always had all kinds of weird old French expressions like that, and I always loved hearing them. And I can still hear her saying it, in my head, whenever I am in a situation where I need to be patient. I mean, is there anything that will wait more patiently than dirty dishes? No matter how long you’re gone, there they’ll be, just waiting for you to get back. Damn dishes can wait forever.
> 
> Sort-of Chapter Soundtrack:  
> When I wrote this chapter, I didn't have any particular songs that came to mind, so I didn't put together a soundtrack. BUT, I received a song suggestion from a wonderful reader - a song that would be a perfect fit, if the circumstances of this chapter had been different. So, thank you Koprix for the suggestion!   
> This I love - Guns n Roses


	9. The Sacred Lands

They left the city as the first rays of the sun coloured the sky. It felt good to be on the move again, Aloy thought. Sometimes she found the city too constricting, too loud, too heavy around her. She was restless when she didn’t have a destination, a purpose; but the wind in her face always made her feel like she was right where she should be. 

A small part of Erend felt guilty for leaving. He’d spent the day before preparing schedules and patrol routes, going over everything with his second in command and heads of watch. There wouldn’t be much that would be required while he was gone – the training of the new recruits was going well, there were no disturbances in or around the city. They wouldn’t be gone as long this time, but he still felt bad for leaving again so soon. The members of the vanguard had teased him mercilessly when they heard the news, and he’d repaid their teasing by assigning an extra hour of drills every day while he was away. He hoped that that would teach them to shut their mouths about Aloy, but he doubted it. 

Meridian was barely out of sight when they found that they’d already slid into their familiar habits. They had long, intimate talks about all sorts of things, but this time Aloy took the lead. She told Erend about how she’d found her focus, and about how she’d used it to save Teb all those years ago. She talked about what it had been like as an outcast, how lonely she’d been. People would refuse to acknowledge her, some would even throw rocks at her if she was nearby, she’d told him. Erend had always thought that the practice was a cruel one, but he’d had no idea just how far it went. His heart went out to Aloy as he listened to her stories. That she grew up to be such a kind and considerate person was further proof of just how amazing she was, he thought.

Over the next few days, Aloy kept telling Erend about her past. She talked about Rost, and her favourite memories of him – teaching her to hunt, teaching her to make arrows and spears. She shared the story that Teersa had told her, the reason why Rost had been cast out.

“Wow, Aloy. That’s awful.” Erend said. He didn’t know what else to say. He understood exactly how Rost must have felt, seeking vengeance for the death of his family. He had done the same thing, after all. But to be cast out for it? It was callous, ruthless. 

It was early afternoon of their fourth day on the road when they passed through Daytower and crossed into The Sacred Lands. They made their way down into the valley and found an ideal camp spot near the shore of a small lake. Erend quickly set up camp and started the fire while Aloy was off hunting for their supper. 

As Erend sat by the fire waiting for Aloy to return, the quiet waves on the lake called to him. Eager to feel clean again, he grabbed his soap and made his way down to the shore. He peeled off him armour, being sure to set his hammer within reach – he wouldn’t need to learn that lesson twice – and his clothes, and waded in. He started by washing his clothes – after four long, dusty days on the road they were in need of a good scrubbing. He rinsed them and wrung them out before balling them up and throwing them onto the shore. 

Erend waded in a bit deeper, then dunked himself under the water. He stayed down for a moment, enjoying the feeling of the cool water flowing around him, before popping back up. He shook the water from his face, then began soaping his hair. He’d have to get Aloy to shave it for him, he thought to himself. Maybe tonight by the fire, if there was time.  
Erend took his time bathing, swimming around lazily and luxuriating in the feeling of being clean. It wasn’t until Aloy had returned to camp with a few rabbits slung over the end of her spear that he realized his problem.

Erend had been mindful to put his weapon within easy reach, but what he hadn’t put within reach was fresh clothes. He’d been so focused on getting clean that he’d forgotten about Aloy’s discomfort with nudity. He was just so used to walking out of a lake and getting dressed back at camp, that it had completely slipped his mind that he wouldn’t be able to do that this time. Erend looked at the waded up ball of wet clothes on the shore, but even those were too far away. He was stuck in the lake, naked. 

“Aloy?” he finally called out, his cheeks burning. “Um, could you do me a favour?” 

“Is everything all right?” she asked hurrying to the lakeside, her voice filled with concern.

“Oh, yah, yah, it’s just…..” he said as she looked at him expectantly. “Ah, by the forge! It’s just that I forgot to get clean clothes out of my pack.”

Aloy stared at him for a minute, then began to snicker. “So, you’re trapped in the lake, you mean?”

“Heh, I don’t have to be, you know.” he replied with a sly smile. 

Aloy lifted her hands in surrender. “Just wait, I’ll get your clothes for you!” she said as she turned and went to dig through his pack. She pulled out a clean tunic and pants, and set them on a large rock near the waterline.

When she’d gone back by the fire, her back to him, he walked out of the water and began to wipe as much of it as he could off his skin. As he worked, he was glad that Aloy hadn’t called his bluff when he had threatened to get out of the water – it had been quite cold, after all. Not exactly the way to make a good first impression. 

When he’d wiped off as much water as he could, Erend pulled on his pants. He grabbed his tunic but decided against putting it on right away, his skin still fairly wet. He retrieved his armour and weapon, and carried them back to camp. He also grabbed the wad of wet clothes that he’d tossed onto the shore, and set them up near the fire to dry. He set the bar of soap on a log nearby, so that it could have the chance to dry before he put it back in his pack. 

Meanwhile, Aloy skinned and gutted the rabbits, and skewered them on some sharpened ridgewood that she placed over the fire. 

“Aloy, while we’re waiting for the rabbits to cook, would you mind shaving my hair?” he asked.

“Sure, no problem.” she replied, smiling at him. 

Erend went to his pack and reached deep inside it, pulling out his grooming bag, then returned to sit by the fire. Aloy positioned herself behind him as he handed her the shaving oil over his shoulder, and she immediately got to work.

Erend closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of her gentle fingers in his hair, shivering a little as they slid across his scalp. The cold water on his skin made her touch feel even more fiery than usual, he noticed. He chewed mindlessly on the inside of his lower lip as he reveled in the sensuality of her touch.

Aloy worked quickly, more at ease with the task than she had been before. As she was carefully wiping the last of the oil from his head, she leaned closer to him. Erend, feeling her breath on his now bare scalp, looked up at her through the corner of his eye, wondering what she was looking at.

“I’ve never noticed this before,” Aloy said, a note of curiosity in her voice “but you have a scar that runs along the side of your mohawk.” She gently ran her fingertip along the length of the scar, tracing its path.

Erend cleared his throat in an attempt to clear his head. “Yah, that was a nasty one.”

“Was it a shaving cut?” Aloy asked. 

“No, I got clipped by an arrow in my early freebooter days. It just about got me, but ripped my scalp open instead. I don’t think that I’ve ever bled that much in my life, even though the cut wasn’t all that bad. Headwounds, you know?”

Aloy traced the white line of the old scar again. “A thumbwidth lower and you’d be dead.” 

“Yah, it was close.” Erend agreed. “But luckily they aimed for my head and not something important.” he added jokingly, laughing when Aloy playfully smacked him on the shoulder. “Seriously though, it wasn’t the first time and it likely won’t be the last.”

“You know, it’s funny.” Aloy said pensively. “For all the fighting I’ve done, I don’t have many scars. Bast gave me this one” she said, pointing at a small scar above her eyebrow “when he hit me with a rock when we were children.”

Erend looked at the small scar, but didn’t find that it marred her beautiful features at all. He’d seen it before, and wondered where she’d gotten it. Finding out that it had come about as a result of her childhood mistreatment served only to make it another facet of her beautiful face, in his eyes. 

He was pulled out of his thoughts by the feeling of her hand on his back. She was tracing some of his other scars, marks that crisscrossed his body – proof of a lifetime of having been a warrior. Some of them were fairly minor, others represented times that he’d wandered a little too close to death. 

Her finger outlined one of the puckered marks on his back, this one just under his shoulder blade. “That arrow didn’t miss.” he said, trying and failing to be lighthearted. “Thank the forge for my armour, it saved my ass that time.”

She mapped out a few more of the scars that were scattered around his back and arms, and he told her about every one. War axe. Fire arrow. Knife. Shrapnel from a blast bomb. Forgeburn. Each scar had a story, and Erend remembered them all. His scars told the story of his life, they were as much a symbol of who he was as anything else he could think of. 

They were lost in themselves, not noticing that the overcast sky had blackened to night. They didn’t notice that their fire had started to burn low. It wasn’t until she smelled burning meat that Aloy snapped out of her exploration of Erend’s skin.

“The rabbits!” she exclaimed, suddenly becoming aware of her surroundings. Her cry shattered Erend’s trance, and he jumped up to grab the rabbits off the fire, but they were well past the point of being overcooked. He held up the blackened, dried out husks that had been their supper.

Aloy’s face fell. “I did it again.” she said somberly.

“You can’t take all of the credit, Aloy. We were both here, we’re both equally responsible for this delicious meal that we are about to enjoy.” he said, ripping a leg off of the charred rabbit and taking a bite. Black flecks stuck to his lips, charcoal that had come off of the rabbit meat. “Mmmm. It’s ok if you don’t want any, it makes more for me.” He took another big bite and chewed noisily. 

Truth be told, it wasn’t that bad. The meat was dry, but nothing he hadn’t had a hundred times as a soldier. He smiled at Aloy as she took a tentative bite, and laughed when she crinkled her nose. 

“Really, Aloy, it’s fine. Just drink some water.” he said encouragingly, taking another big bite. 

He added some more wood to the fire and sat to finish his meal. His skin missed the feel of Aloy’s caresses, wanted her to come back and warm him again. He looked over at her, gingerly eating her burnt rabbit. He thought briefly about asking her if she wanted to touch his scars again, but then dismissed the thought. It would be a strange thing to ask a friend, he knew. 

When he was finished eating, Erend wiped off his hands and stood to put on his tunic, the night having begun to get cold. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Aloy watching him, but he didn’t know what to make of that.

When they set off the next morning, Aloy seemed lost in thought.

“What’s on your mind?” Erend asked.

“Looking at your scars last night made me think, we’ve never talked about the war. You’ve told me some of your freebooter stories, and your vanguard stories, but you’ve never talked about the time in between those two parts of your life. I can only imagine that you got many of those scars during the war against the Mad Sun King. It’s ok if you don’t want to talk about it, but I’m here to listen if you do.”

Erend thought about it for a while. She was right, he almost never talked about that painful chapter in his life, with her or with anyone. There were so many things about that time that he had wanted to forget, memories that he’d tried to drink away. But if he wanted to keep his promise to Ersa, he would have to find another way to cope. And if there was anyone that could talk to about it, it was Aloy.

“I was about your age when we joined with Avad.” Erend started. “His father had been a murderous madman, that was no secret. But the reason that none of us ever talk about it is because his madness was not limited to him. He encouraged the Shadow Carja troops to follow his example, Aloy, rewarded them for the unspeakable things that they did. It was a horrific, bloody war. I witnessed atrocities that would give anyone nightmares for the rest of their lives. Throwing people into the Sun Ring was only the beginning of what the Shadow Carja were willing to do.”

Aloy blanched. She knew all too well the sorts of things that the Shadow Carja did in times of peace. She could only imagine what sorts of horrendous punishments they could dream up in a time of war. 

“But we used what we saw as fuel. Fuel for our determination, our courage. We knew that we had to win that war, losing just wasn’t an option. I guess that it was a lot like the fight against HADES in that way. When the fate of everyone and everything you love is at stake, you dig deep and you find it within yourself to keep going. No matter how injured you are, how tired, how scared, how weak you feel, you just keep going.” 

Erend’s voice drifted off into the wind, and he looked down at the path in front of them as they walked. Memories surfaced in his mind, the mangled corpses of innocent people swimming in front of his eyes. He knew that he’d have to keep talking about the things he saw, if he ever hoped to find peace, but it would have to be in little pieces. Even just that tiny bit felt overwhelming.

Luckily, Aloy seemed to understand, and didn’t ask any more questions.

__________

The day was once again overcast and cool, the sun hiding behind grey clouds. When the wind started to pick up, Aloy immediately recognized the signs.

“It’s going to start raining.” she said. “Do you want to keep going, or would you prefer to find shelter somewhere?”

Erend looked up at the dark clouds that were blotting out the sun. “It looks like it might get nasty, let’s see if we can find a place to get out of the rain.”

They picked up their pace, scanning along either side of the path for any signs of a cave, an overhang, or anything that might provide shelter from the incoming storm. The first few drops had begun to fall when Aloy spotted a nook in some nearby rocks.

“There.” she said, pointing to the spot. “But we’ll have to climb.”

Erend began to protest, but couldn’t offer any better alternatives. The only other choice was to allow themselves and everything they carried to get completely soaked, and he knew that that would be even more unpleasant than scrambling up a rock face.

“Alright.” he conceded “but you'll have to help me climb up there.”

Aloy gave a quick nod, and they headed towards the rocks. The rain had already begun to make them slippery, making climbing difficult. Aloy hauled herself up, guiding Erend along the way. As unsteady and unsure of himself as he was, he nevertheless made it to the nook just as the rain really began to fall.

Erend and Aloy sat crouched in the little nook in the rocks, watching the torrent of rain that fell. The downpour created puddles in all of the low-lying areas, puddles which eventually grew into tiny ponds. 

“Well, finding a spot to camp tonight might be a challenge.” Erend offered. “Finding dry wood, too.”

“I was just thinking the same thing. We’ll see how late it is when the rain stops, but we might have to sleep here tonight.” Aloy replied, reluctance in her voice.

As the rain continued to fall, they both settled back and made themselves more comfortable. It soon became clear that they’d have no choice but to spend the night in their little rocky nook. Erend reached into his pack, pulling out a few chunks of dried meat, some pieces of cheese, and some bread. They ate a quiet supper, listening to the rain as it fell. Thunder soon joined the symphony of sounds, and crashes of lightning lit up the sky around them. They were thankful for their dry nook, both having been caught in storms like that before. 

When darkness overtook them, they decided that they might as well try to sleep. There wasn’t enough room for either of them to lie down, so they leaned back against the rock wall behind them and unfurled their blankets, covering one another as much as possible. Aloy leaned against Erend’s shoulder, wiggling around to try to find a comfortable spot on his muscular body. Once she’d settled herself, Erend brushed his lips against the top of her head, then rested his cheek on the spot he’d just kissed.

He listened to Aloy’s tired sigh as he closed his eyes. He could feel the cold leaching out of the rock beneath and behind him, its unforgiving surface already tormenting him. The damp had seeped into him hours before, chilling him to the core, and his muscles were cramped from his uncomfortable sitting position. He knew that it was going to be a long, difficult night. 

The sound of the falling rain eventually lulled them both to sleep, their eyelids heavy after a long day. They slept fitfully, waking whenever one of them shifted in an attempt to get more comfortable. The rain finally tapered off, sometime just before dawn.

When Erend awoke early the next morning, he was in a sour mood. When he roused Aloy, he noticed that she was feeling the same. They were both cold, tired, and sore, and neither were feeling chatty. They ate quickly and folded up their blankets, then carefully made their way back down to the soggy ground.

After all of the rain, the rocks on which they’d sought shelter were now surrounded by what could only be described as a lake. They splashed their way back towards the path through the ankle-deep water, hoping that it hadn’t been inundated. 

They found the path, thankfully not under water, and continued on towards Mother’s Crown. It was only a matter of minutes, though, before their boots carried a thick layer of heavy, sticky mud. They slipped along, clumps falling from the bottom of their boots with each step. Neither spoke, knowing that their foul moods didn’t leave much space for idle chitchat. Instead, they counted the hours as they slowly passed, each step taking them closer to a warm fire and a soft bed in Mother’s Crown.

______________________

As they approached the village, Erend and Aloy began to see more and more Nora tribespeople. Although they kept to themselves, many of the Nora that they met on the road recognized Aloy’s distinctive red hair. Every time that she was recognized, Erend noticed, the people would gasp, their eyes wide with awe. Some were too afraid to speak, but others were bolder.

“Anointed One! You have blessed us with your presence!” shouted one woman, falling to her knees on the muddy path in front of them. Her eyes brimmed with unshed tears as she watched Aloy walking past, her hands clasped in front of her in supplication.

“Gift from the All-Mother! May you be ever blessed, Anointed One!” declared another as he bowed deeply before her. 

This continued on for quite a while. For Erend, it was profoundly strange and unnerving. For Aloy, it was downright insulting.

After they’d met more than a half dozen people along the road, most of whom reacted to Aloy in the same way, she’d finally had enough. “Can you believe this Erend? They treated me as less than human for my entire life, and now they want to adore me? Asking me to bless them, as if the first nineteen years of my life didn’t exist? I won’t do it, Erend, I just won’t.” 

Because of the commotion Aloy’s presence was causing, they decided not to stay in Mother’s Crown, opting instead to bypass the village and head straight to Mother’s Heart. Soon, but not soon enough for Aloy, the path cleared and they were alone again.

As they walked, Erend wanted so badly to ask Aloy what that was all about. He’d seen some hints of it before the battle with HADES, in the deference the Nora warriors had shown Aloy. But he hadn’t realized that they actually seemed to revere her – worship her, even. He knew that they were spiritual people, but he couldn’t imagine why they would suddenly begin to hold a former outcast in such high regard. When the time was right, he decided, he’d ask her about it. 

The rest of the trip to Mother’s Heart was quiet, save for the odd passer-by who inevitably recognized Aloy. As they grew closer to the heart of The Sacred Lands, Erend began to worry. Each encounter left Aloy more and more upset, and he knew that they had no choice but to enter Mother’s Heart in order to find Teersa.

The path became more crowded as they neared Mother’s Heart, and Aloy’s mood became darker and darker with each step. But it wasn’t until they’d passed through the gate into the village that it became overwhelming. People cried out at the sight of Aloy, which only attracted the attention of others. At every turn, people were trying to touch her, begging for her blessing. A mob began to form around them within minutes of their arrival.

Erend could see that Aloy was absolutely stunned, not sure where to go to escape the crowd. She was telling everyone to leave her alone and trying to push people away, but every vacancy that she created around herself was immediately filled. Even he found it to be too much, he could only imagine how Aloy was feeling. 

“ENOUGH!” he bellowed, causing everyone in the crowd to jump. “Back off, now, and go about your business! Or I’ll give you all a kick in the ass!” Terrified, the people that had been gathered around scurried back to their tasks.

Aloy sighed with relief, slumping against his chest. “Thank you, Erend. I really needed that.” 

Erend watched the tension leave her shoulders as she calmed down, still leaning against him. “Yah, well, sometimes it pays to be the big, scary Oseram brute.” he replied, still miffed. 

Aloy looked up at him, her head tilting to the side as if asking herself a question. “A scary brute? Who calls you that? You’re none of those things.”

Erend looked at her, not quite believing his ears. “Uh, most people, actually. You mean that you’ve never noticed the way the people in Meridian look at me? Really?”

Aloy’s brow wrinkled in confusion and she shook her head. “No, never. I guess that, to me, everyone looks at you the way that I do.”

Erend’s heart skipped a beat. “And how’s that?” he asked, almost afraid of the answer.

Aloy smiled brightly. “As someone who is strong, and kind, and generous, and sweet.”

Erend felt a fluttering in his chest at her words, a warm feeling filling him. He didn’t care what other people thought, but Aloy’s opinion meant the world to him, and it felt good to know that she thought of him like that. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a big hug, and kissed the top of her head. “Thank you, Aloy. That means a lot.”

They steered themselves towards the Matriarchs lodge, hoping to find Teersa. Aloy wanted to learn whether Rost had been buried and if so, where. If anyone knew, it would be Teersa.

As expected, she was in the lodge. As Aloy had hoped, Teersa had seen to it that Rost had been buried. He’d been returned to the All Mother on the mountaintop near the home he’d shared with Aloy, the Matriarch explained. Aloy knew the exact spot, having spent time there often. It had an incredible vista, with a view of all of the forests down below and the mountains in the distance. It was one of Aloy’s favourite places in the whole world, and it brought her great comfort to know that Rost was there. 

As soon as they were finished with Teersa, they made their way out of Mother’s Heart. Nervous townsfolk scattered at the sight of Erend, which made him chuckle. Let them be scared, he thought, if it means that they leave Aloy alone.

Aloy guided Erend through The Embrace, towards the cabin she’d shared with Rost. It was quite late when they finally arrived, dark having fallen some time before. Aloy slowed as they approached the gate of the cabin, eventually stopping at the foot of the front steps. She stared at the cabin, the only home she’d ever known, wrapped in the unforgiving darkness of the night.

“Aloy, if you don’t want to stay here, we can pitch our tent somewhere nearby.” Erend said, as if reading her mind. 

Aloy shook her head. “It’s just that I haven’t been back here since Rost and I left on the day of the Proving. I only need a minute, I’ll be fine.”

Aloy steeled herself, walked up the steps, and opened the door to the cabin. The flood of memories that rushed towards her were overpowering, but Erend took her hand and steadied her. With a deep breath, Aloy thrust out her chin and marched into the cabin. Erend’s chest swelled with pride – she was so much stronger than he could ever dream of being. 

That night, they shared Aloy’s tiny bed, neither wanting to take the bed Rost had used. They huddled close, hanging on to one another for balance as they teetered over the edges of the bed. Aloy knew that it was ridiculous, to share a child’s bed when there was another just across the room. But she welcomed Erend’s warm, comforting arms like a spring flower welcomes the sun. 

Early the next morning, before they’d even had breakfast, Aloy brought Erend to the mountaintop where Rost was buried. As they sat and watched the sun rise, Erend was blown away by the beauty of the place. The pink sky of dawn revealed a long, deep valley filled with lakes and trees; and tall, snow-capped mountains surrounded the valley. He understood now why the Nora called this part of their lands The Embrace; the mountains wrapped themselves around the valley, cradling it. 

“Teersa chose well.” Erend said “It’s the perfect spot.”

Aloy gave a small nod, lost in her thoughts. They sat together, looking out over the valley, until the pink faded from the sky. Finally, Aloy stood and held out her hand to help Erend up. They went back to the cabin, ready for breakfast.

Aloy spent the rest of the day showing Erend the area around the cabin. She showed him where she had trained, her first training dummy in pieces in the bushes nearby. She brought him to the ruins where she’d found her focus. She also showed him the brave trails that she had trained on, and Erend’s face paled as he watched her jump from ledge to ledge. He’d known she was agile, but he’d never seen her do anything like that before. She asked if he wanted to try, but she couldn’t convince him to leave the solid security of the ground.

“So, all this training that you did, it was to run in the Proving, right?” Erend asked once she was safely back beside him.

“That’s right.” 

“But why, after everything that the Nora had done to you, did you want to run in the Proving in the first place? Don’t get me wrong, I’m eternally grateful that you did. But why would you want to join a group of people who had treated you like that?”

“Because it was the only way that I could get answers. Whoever wins the Proving gets to ask the Matriarchs for whatever they want. I needed to know why they would cast out a baby.”

Baby? Erend shook his head, sure that he’d misheard. He knew that she was very young when she was cast out, but he hadn’t realized that she’d only been a baby at the time. The more he got to know the Nora, he thought, the less he liked them.

The next day, they spent some time with Rost, then decided to go to Mother’s Heart for supplies. As they neared the village, they met more and more people, all of whom stopped to greet the Anointed One.

“You see, this is why I can’t stay here.” Aloy started, her voice betraying her frustration. “I’m sure that Sona and Varl thought that I would return with them, from Meridian. But I’ve never belonged here. And now, with Rost gone, there’s nothing to hold me here. I’m both Nora and not Nora, do you know what I mean?” Erend nodded. He had thought exactly the same thing. 

“They’ve never wanted me to be a part of their tribe, and now they’re always bowing, and whispering about me, and calling me anointed even though I’ve told them that it bothers me. When I’m away from the cabin, I feel like I’m always being watched. But the cabin feels like an empty, lifeless shell without Rost. I don’t belong here, and I never did.”

Erend was both sad and happy to hear Aloy’s words. Sad, because the woman he loved felt so listless and alone. Happy, because somewhere inside he’d always worried that someday she would want to come back here to stay.

They talked to the merchants in Mother’s Heart, buying the things they’d need for their return trip to Meridian. Erend wasn’t sure when that would be, but he was glad that they’d be prepared once Aloy was ready to go. They only needed a few more things when they heard someone calling from across the bridge.

“Aloy! Aloy!” It was Teersa, trying to catch Aloy’s attention. She waved, indicating to Teersa that she’d seen her.

“Why don’t you finish up with the last of supplies, I’ll go see what Teersa wants.” Aloy said, turning to go. 

Erend watched as Aloy jogged across the small bridge, to the spot where Teersa was waiting. Teersa wrapped her arm around Aloy’s back, leading her somewhere. She must have wanted to discuss something, Erend thought.

After he’d finished buying the rest of the supplies they needed, Erend took some time to walk around the village. It was his first time back in Mother’s Heart since he’d visited with the Sun Priest before the Proving; and he was filled with memories of that evening, when he’d first met Aloy. He had been standing on the stage when he spotted her in the crowd, and from that moment he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. He had watched her make her way over to Olin, giving him the opening he’d been waiting for to talk to her.  
And what an idiot he’d been, he thought for the thousandth time. His words rang in his ears, and he shook his head. He’d so hoped to impress her with his big shot posturing, but even then she had put him in his place. He smiled when he remembered her reaction to his comment on her appearance. “Well, just look at you.” he’d said, which had left her confused. He could still hear her reply in his ears, “Uh, what are you talking about?” Erend chuckled to himself. He now knew that she really hadn’t know what he was talking about. She had no idea how beautiful she was, seemed utterly baffled by the idea. 

He walked towards the stage where he’d stood all those months ago, and tried to remember what his life had been like. Before Aloy. Before Ersa and Dervahl. He vaguely remembered the sense of being carefree, his only worries in life were to be a good vanguard and to outdrink any challenger. Ersa had been right, he realized. He had been a child. But he wasn’t a child anymore. 

___________

Teersa had led Aloy away, steering her towards an unknown destination. It wasn’t until they’d stopped that Aloy realized where they were.

“The Medicine woman? Why did you bring me to the Medicine woman? I’m not sick.” Aloy asked, very confused.

“I know, I know. There was something that I thought the three of us could discuss.” Teersa said, guiding her inside.

Was Teersa sick, Aloy wondered. What was going on? 

They entered the small hut. It was warm and dark, and bundles of medicinal herbs hung from the ceiling. Teersa led Aloy to the fire ring in the middle of the hut, and they sat on the stumps that surrounded the fire. She waited a bit, before beginning.

“Aloy, I am an old woman, and an old woman sees things that others do not. With wisdom comes responsibility, which is why I have brought you here today.” Aloy noticed the Medicine woman enter the hut, and quietly sit beside Teersa by the fire.

“Aloy, you have come to The Sacred Lands to pay your respects to Rost, but you have not come alone. The Oseram who was here before the Proving has come with you, although you are yourself a brave and you do not need his protection. I can only think that he is here to protect your heart, as you say goodbye to Rost.

Rost was many things, but he was not all knowing. I’m sure that, as you grew, he told you about women. How the All Mother created our bodies in her image. Just as She has the waxing and waning of the moon, day and night, spring and fall, so too do you. He explained this to you, but he would not have had the whole story.

Within the tribe, every Nora girl visits the Medicine woman to learn these things. The Medicine woman also explains to each young woman about being blessed by the All Mother, what it means to have new life grow inside her. But what she also tells each young woman, what Rost would not have known, is that the All Mother has also blessed us with the herbs that allow us to choose when this new life will grow.”

Aloy was confused. Why was Teersa telling her this? 

“This Oseram, Aloy, have you…” Teersa continued, but Aloy cut her off immediately when she realized where the old woman was going with this.

“NO! Erend is my friend, Teersa, only my friend.”

“Is he now?” Teersa asked. Her eyesight was poor but young Aloy was much blinder than she, it seemed. “Well, my apologies. All the same, you will speak to the Medicine woman. It is important that every woman know these things, for when the time is right.” 

When Aloy rejoined Erend some time later, she seemed eager to leave Mother’s Heart.

“Ready to go?” she asked him, ushering him towards the path to the cabin.

“Uh, yah. So, what was that about?” he asked. She’d been gone a while, so it had obviously been important.

“What, that? Oh, nothing really.” Aloy said hurriedly, dodging his question.

“Is everything alright? Aloy, is something wrong?” Erend asked, her agitation making it clear to him that she hadn’t been talking about ‘nothing’.

“Everything’s fine, Erend. I just want to get back to the cabin before dark.” she replied, walking quickly up the hill.

That night, Aloy found it hard to get ready for bed. The conversation that she’d had with the Medicine woman echoed in her ears. Erend had flirted with her in the past, or at least she thought he had, but he’d never shown any real interest in her beyond that, as far as she could tell. So why was she suddenly nervous about sharing a bed with him?  
She watched as he pulled off his tunic, the muscles in his arms flexing as he tugged it over his head. His strong arms, she thought, that made her feel so safe and warm each night. She looked at the plain of his stomach, ridged with thick muscles. She looked at….

STOP! Aloy scolded herself. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? This is Erend, your Erend. Your best friend.

She shook her head and rubbed her eyes. She had to snap out of this!

They crawled into the tiny bed, and she tried to ignore the strange feeling in the pit of her stomach. Maybe if I’m not looking at him it’ll help, she thought as she turned and laid her back against his chest. He wrapped his thick arm around her waist and pulled her close. She soon discovered that she’d been wrong – it didn’t help.

______________

Over the next few days, Aloy spent a lot of time sitting beside Rost’s grave. Erend was always there with her, having chosen a spot next to a large boulder not far away from where she sat. He wanted to be close, but she seemed to want to be alone with Rost. It had always just been the two of them, so it made sense.

Erend listened as Aloy talked to Rost, much as he’d talked to Ersa. She told him about their trip to The Claim, and all of the adventures they’d had along the way. It felt strange, almost intrusive, to listen to Aloy talking about him, describing him. But when he’d asked her, earlier that day, if she’d prefer to be alone, she insisted that she didn’t. The next day, she told Rost about all that she’d been through since the Proving, all that she’d learned. It really was an amazing story, Erend realized. He’d been there for small parts of it, but hearing the whole story left him shocked. Aloy truly was an incredible woman.

One afternoon, they made their way back down to the village. There were a handful of people that Aloy wanted to see, to say goodbye. She was beginning to feel ready to go, and she didn’t want to leave any unfinished business once that moment arrived.

One by one, Aloy met with Teb, Varl, Sona, and Teersa. Slowly, she said her goodbyes and began to unwrap the last tendrils of The Sacred Lands from around her heart. She knew that she wouldn’t be back, and that it was unlikely she’d see any of them again. But they had been important to her, and she wanted to ensure that they knew that.

It was the last goodbye that was impossible. Aloy sat beside Rost’s grave, looking out over the valley below, and tried to make the words come out of her mouth. She tried, and kept trying, but she just couldn’t do it. Those words held such finality that they would not fall from her tongue.

Erend could see her struggling, and went to sit beside her. They both stared into the distance, silent, while the breeze rustled the leaves of the nearby trees. When the tears came, she leaned into him. He pulled her into his lap and held her close, her head tucked under the crook of his chin. 

She sobbed, a river of sadness flowing out of her. For Rost. For the unfairness of her childhood. For the people that had fallen in Meridian, led there by her. So much loneliness. So much pain. So much guilt. It seemed neverending.

Spent, she sat up and looked at Erend. He wiped the tears from her cheek with his thumb and gently kissed her forehead. A small smile, first she and then him. She put her head back on his shoulder and let out a loud sigh. He laid his cheek on the top of her head, wishing that there were more that he could do. They sat there, together, as the sun crossed the sky. 

Finally, Aloy knew that she could no longer put it off. Refusing to say the words wouldn’t bring him back, nothing would. She’d come all this way to say goodbye to Rost. Now, all that was left was to say it.

She stood, and walked around to the front of the grave overlooking The Embrace. She placed her hand on the stone marker and lowered her head as her eyes closed. She heard Erend moving, then felt his hand on her back, giving her strength. She took a few deep breaths, letting them out slowly, before she could begin.

“Thank you for raising me. Everything that I am, everything that I’ve accomplished, is a testament to your guidance and teachings. I miss you, every day.” She stopped, choking on the words. “I love you Rost. Goodbye.”

Aloy began to slowly walk away, Erend’s strength trickling into her body through his hand, still on her back. Neither of them looked back as they made their way towards to the cabin. 

There was so much that Erend wanted to say, but he knew that Aloy needed to be alone with her thoughts. She’d done so much to help him, but when it was his turn he found himself feeling helpless, useless. He could see that she was a tornado of swirling emotions, and he could do nothing to stop it.

As they were getting ready for bed, Aloy took his hand. “Thank you, Erend, for being with me today. You gave me the strength to get through this. I can’t imagine how much more difficult this would have been without you.”

Erend didn’t know what to say, he’d been so sure that he’d done nothing to help her. He wrapped his arm around her and stroked her hair, then kissed her forehead. They slipped into bed and slept deeply, both drained after the long, emotional day.

The next morning, after Aloy had closed the cabin for the last time, her mood was dark. As they walked along the trail, she brooded as thoughts rolled around in her head and her emotions whipped around her like flags in the wind. 

Finally, she could no longer stand it. “Erend?”

“Mmhmm?” he asked softly, gently.

“How did you feel after Ersa? After you’d laid her to rest?” She felt cruel, asking the question.

He stopped and turned towards her. “Hung over” he said, letting a small smile creep onto his face. He quickly became serious again, and resumed walking. 

“Honestly, a lot like you must be feeling right now. Sad. Angry. Lonely. Unsure. I wanted to fix things, to make it go back to the way that it was…but I knew that I couldn’t change what had happened. I had things that had been left unsaid, and no one to say them to. I had love for my sister that felt, I don’t know, unspent. But then I realized something. This was the way that it was going to be from now on, and I needed to figure out a way to go on without her. It meant wrestling with a few demons, to do my best to honour my final vow to her. I did a lot of soul searching. I still am. But Aloy, both you and I watched someone that we loved, the one person that we had in the world, die right in front of us. You don’t just get over that. In Rost’s case, his final act in this life was to save yours. Ersa’s final words set me on a new path. Their lives changed ours, in very real ways, and we need to honour that.”

They walked along, the gravel of the path crunching beneath their boots.

“You know” Erend continued “sometimes, I can still feel the weight of her in my arms, holding her on that dirty floor. Part of me hopes that that feeling never goes away. But I don’t want the memory that I hold on to to be the one of her broken body. She was fearless, brave, smart, determined. The best sister that anyone could ever ask for. I want to remember her best moments, the ones where she shone brightest to be the ones that I hold on to. I hope, someday, that I’ll reach a point where I smile when I think about her, rather than feeling nothing but pain. I know I’ll get there. You will too.”

They continued down the path that would take them out of The Sacred Lands, Aloy’s spirits lifting with the sun. Erend noticed that her movements were becoming less stiff, an ease returning to her body that had been absent for a few days. He smiled to himself, glad that his words had helped. It helped him too, he found, to talk about Ersa. 

“I wish I could have met him.” Erend said quietly, his voice almost lost.

Aloy smiled wistfully. “So do I.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took me so long to post - Life, amirite?
> 
> So I had started to put together another 'road trip' soundtrack for the trip back from The Claim, more songs that captured Erend's situation. When I realized how many of them were hits from the 80's, I decided to make a separate "homage to the 80's" soundtrack. Who doesn't love a good road trip mix tape?
> 
> Chapter Soundtrack:  
> Everywhere - Fleetwood Mac  
> I want to know what love is - Foreigner  
> I'll be there for you - Bon Jovi  
> Mystify - INXS  
> Invisible touch - Genesis  
> Damn I wish I was your lover - Sophie B Hawkins  
> Every little thing she does is magic - The Police  
> When I see you smile - Bad English  
> The flame - Cheap Trick  
> Alone - Heart  
> She sells sanctuary - The Cult  
> Can't fight this feeling - REO Speedwagon  
> With or without you - U2  
> Need you tonight - INXS  
> Personal Jesus - Depeche Mode  
> Total eclipse of the heart - Bonnie Tyler  
> I touch myself - The Divinyls  
> Don't you want me? - The Human League  
> Sweet dreams (are made of this) - Eurythmics  
> Every breath you take - The Police  
> Take my breath away - Berlin  
> True - Spandau Ballet  
> To be with you - Mr Big  
> Here comes the rain again - Eurythmics  
> She's like the wind - Patrick Swayze


	10. Risk

They arrived back in Meridian just past midday, and this time there was no hesitation or questioning – Aloy followed Erend straight to his apartment, both of them walking in and dropping their bags. Erend went right back out and headed for the palace, to advise Avad of his return, while Aloy started to unpack.

As she began to put things away, or set them aside for cleaning, she noticed that one of Erend’s socks had been tangled in her blankets that morning. She picked it up and carried it to the spare room he’d been using, intending to put it with his other dirty clothes. But when she opened the door, she stopped in her tracks. The room, it was obvious, had been Ersa’s. She saw a thin mat and a pile of blankets on the floor in the corner of the room, Erend’s bed since she had begun staying in the apartment with him.

Aloy was furious. Erend had given her his bedroom and insisted that he’d be comfortable in the spare room. He’d lied to her, good intentions or not. Why hadn’t he said anything, especially since they'd returned from The Claim? They could have easily shared his big bed.

Aloy stewed and grumbled as she finished putting away her pack and washed her dirty clothes and blankets. His heart was in the right place, she knew, but he still shouldn’t have lied. She could have even slept on the settee – she’d slept in much worse places than that.

By the time Erend arrived home that night, her anger had mostly run itself out. She wasn’t interested in making him feel bad for being considerate of her, but nor did she want him to keep sleeping on the floor in his dead sister’s room.

It was while they were eating supper that the idea formed in her mind. “Erend, I was wondering something.”

“What’s that?”

“Well, we’ve been sleeping together for a while now” she started, not noticing that Erend had nearly choked on his mouthful of boar at her choice of phrasing “and I was wondering if you’d be OK if we did that here in Meridian. Just for a little while. It helps me to feel better, when you’re there.” 

Erend looked at her, the wheels in his head turning. This was a much bigger question than she realized, and he wasn’t sure how to answer it.

They’d never really talked about Aloy’s plans, or whether she intended to stay in Meridian. Erend hoped that she did, but he knew her well enough to know that she had itchy feet, and staying put in one place was not something that she was very good at. He’d invited her to stay with him, and as far as he was concerned that invitation didn’t have an expiry date. But he didn’t know if that was what she wanted, or if she intended to get an apartment of her own one day. It was one thing to share a bed while they were traveling, out of necessity more often than not. But it was another entirely for them to begin sharing a bed at home. Once again, Erend could feel the shape of their relationship shifting, morphing into something else. Was that what he wanted?

It was, he decided. He’d always told himself that he’d take her, in any way that she was willing to share herself with him. He loved the feeling of having her in his arms at night, even as he suffered over it. The warmth of her, the sounds she made in her sleep, they had all become inextricably linked with a good night’s sleep, in his mind. He never slept well anymore, if she wasn’t there beside him. 

“Yah, OK.” he answered. There, it was done. There was no turning back now.

That night, Aloy hung back, waiting to see which side of the bed he chose. It was his bed, after all, and everybody had a favourite side. She waved him towards the bed, and he smiled and crawled into his usual spot. She jumped in beside him, pulling the sheets up to her chest.

It was a new feeling for Erend, he noticed. He had had women in his bed before, being a member of the vanguard made that easy enough. But this was different - it was the first time that he’d shared his own bed with someone that he cared about. It was strange, he thought. He’d shared a bed with Aloy many times, but being in his bed at home made it feel new. It was a feeling that he liked. 

The next morning, as Erend got ready for his day, Aloy told him that she was going to go hunting. She’d been keeping the machines well away from Meridian, something which made his job much easier. He nodded and headed out the door, wishing her a good day.

When night fell and Erend returned home, Aloy hadn’t come back yet from her hunt. Erend thought that it was odd, she was usually home before he was, but maybe she’d just ventured out further than usual this time. He made them supper, thinking that she’d be back by the time it was done. But the food grew cold on the table as he waited, still no sign of Aloy.

Erend’s concern grew with each passing minute. What could possibly be keeping her? She was supremely capable, the best warrior that he’d ever seen. She was strong and fast. Surely, there wasn’t a bandit or machine out there who could prevent her from returning home. But what, then? Had she left without telling him?

He went to his room, and saw that her pack and most of her things were still there. The only things missing were one set of armour and her weapons and traps – the things she’d need for a day of hunting. 

Hours ticked by, and Erend grew frantic. He paced back and forth across the sitting room, his head whipping towards the door at the slightest sound. His heart was pounding in his chest, and worry clouded his brain. Something terrible must have happened, he told himself, there was no other reason for her to not have come home. 

He didn’t know where she’d gone, but he knew that he had to find her. Unable to wait any longer, he grabbed his war hammer and headed out the door, running towards the edge of the city. I’m coming Aloy, he repeated to himself in his head, over and over, as he ran.

Two members of the vanguard were just leaving the tavern when they saw the Captain rushing past them. His eyes were panicked, and they immediately knew that something was wrong. They ran up behind him and grabbed him, trying to get him to stop and explain.

But Erend wouldn’t stop, kept trying to get away from them, and the two vanguard struggled with him. At that moment, four other members of the vanguard left the tavern and, seeing the scuffle, hurried over to help.

“I have to find her. I have to find her. She’s gone, I have to find her.” Erend repeated desperately, trying to explain.

“Captain. Captain! STOP!” one of the vanguard shouted in his face. Erend stilled, briefly.

“Captain, what’s going on?”

“It’s Aloy. She went out hunting this morning and hasn’t come back. Something’s wrong, and I have to go find her. There’s something wrong…” Erend said, begging them to let him go. 

Every one of the vanguard gathered around their Captain knew what Aloy meant to him, and their hearts fell.

“Captain, we will help you find her. We will find her. But there’s nothing we can do right now, it’s the middle of the night. Sir, you won’t find anything in the dark, even if you knew where to begin looking.”

Erend began to struggle again, yelling at them to let him go. Every cell of his body screamed, the urgency of the situation filling his veins. Some deeply buried part of his brain knew that they were right, but he couldn’t listen to reason. He wasn’t just going to sit back and wait.

“Right then.” said Arnt, the most senior among the vanguard gathered there. “You four, grab his legs.” They picked him up, ignoring his cries and struggles, and carried him back to his apartment. They threw him onto the settee, the last one in locking the door and blocking it. He wrestled and fought, but there was nothing that he could do. He was helpless, he finally realized. They weren’t going to let him go. And they were right, he knew. There was barely any moon that night – he could walk right past her in the dark and not realize it. The fight began to leave him.

There’s got to be a simple explanation, Erend thought, trying to console himself. But it wasn’t until his vanguard vowed once more to help him search at first light that he began to breathe again, if only a little. 

Erend didn’t sleep a wink, adrenaline coursing through his veins. He kept hoping that Aloy would come walking through the door, having been held up for some innocent reason.  
At the first sign of the sun’s rays, he jumped up from his chair. “LET’S GO!” he called to the vanguard over his shoulder as he pushed them out of the way and barreled out the door.

They split up, each heading in a different direction. Arnt had thought to prepare a note for Avad, letting him know about the situation, explaining why Erend would be missing his morning briefing that day. He delivered it to Marad and ran in the direction he’d been assigned.

Erend hurried down the mesa and began to run through the trees, calling for her. Where could she be, he wondered desperately. For hours he ran, calling her name, despair making his voice rough.

His calling had the unintended effect of alerting several watchers to Erend’s presence. He was so caught up in his search that he hadn't noticed their blue glow until the machines were right on top of him. They tried to attack, but he quickly retaliated. He smashed into them with his giant hammer, directing all of his anger and worry into each swing. Again and again he swung, stopping only when he realized that he was needlessly pounding on the last dead watcher. He looked down at their battered frames and realized that they looked just like he felt. Broken, in pieces.

By early afternoon he was frantic, beside himself with worry. He hoped against hope that she was already back in the city, having just missed him, wondering where he’d wandered off to. He called her name again, his voice now hoarse. In his mind, he could see Ersa lying in his arms as the light in her eyes dimmed and flickered out. Over and over, on a continuous loop. He couldn’t do it again, he knew, hold the body of someone so precious to him. It would shatter him completely. He had to find her. He had no choice, he had to find her. 

Something in Erend's gut told him to stop. He’d heard something, he was sure of it. He stood frozen on the spot, straining to hear. Just when he had convinced himself that it had been a figment of his imagination, he heard it again. It sounded like a small cry in the distance. He headed towards the sound as he called out again, trying to narrow down where it had come from.

Erend ran towards a tall mesa, trying to pinpoint the location of the cries. He crashed through the underbrush, running as fast as his legs would carry him. 

His legs almost gave out from under him as he neared the mesa, his breath catching in his throat. She was there. Aloy, at the base of the mesa. She was there. She was alive, but he couldn’t tell what was wrong. He pushed himself, faster still, towards her prone body.

“Aloy! Aloy! Oh Aloy, thank the forge!” He skidded and slid to a stop next to her. He was jittery, unsure where to touch her, but he froze when he heard her raspy voice. 

“I knew you’d find me.”

He looked down at her. “Always.” he replied softly, the lump in his throat making it nearly impossible to talk.

His training began to kick in, and he started to assess her injuries as if she were on the field of battle. “What happened?” he asked, trying to figure out where to begin.

Her voice was so quiet and raspy that he needed to lean closer to make out what she was saying. “I climbed up the mesa, to get a good vantage point to scan with my focus. I was near the top, hanging from a small ledge in the rock, when it broke away.” Erend thought about the brave trail she’d showed him in The Sacred Lands, and how dangerous it had seemed. He shuddered as she continued. “I fell, hitting ledges on the way down. They slowed me down, thankfully, but I got pretty banged up. My armour protected me, somewhat, but I’ve still got a few broken bones. I couldn’t walk, and if I had needed to I would have dragged myself, but I knew that you were coming; I knew you’d find me, so I saved my strength and listened for you.”

Erend stammered, not sure what to say. She’s ok, he said to himself reassuringly, she's going to be ok.

Once the elation of finding her passed, a greater realizing began to sink in. He needed to get her back to Meridian, but how? She was battered and bruised, her body shattered. If he moved her in the wrong way, he could do permanent damage. Every little movement would cause her tremendous pain, which he hated to do. What could he do to minimize her suffering?

Erend thought about their predicament as he gave Aloy some herbs for pain, trickling water into her mouth to help wash them down. 

It was the smashed bodies of the watchers that gave him the idea. He’d stood over them, like he stood over Aloy now, and it occurred to him that he could use them to get her home. He told her his plan.

“Don’t move.” he said “I’m coming right back.” 

Aloy laughed. “Did you really just tell me not to move? Well, I was going to go dancing, but since you told me not to move…”

He rolled his eyes at her and hurried in the direction of the dead watchers. He hoped that he’d find what he needed.

When Erend returned, he was dragging something behind him. He’d made a stretcher out of pieces of metal, with long wires woven between them like a net. He’d put handles on one end, that he used to drag it. On the other end, he’d put pieces of curved metal. They slid over the underbrush like skis, lessening the amount of jostling that Aloy would have to endure. It was crude, but it would work.

Erend set the stretcher down on the ground beside Aloy. He took some ridgewood pieces that he’d gathered, along with some spare wire, and used them to splint Aloy’s broken leg and arm. Then he carefully picked her up, trying to block out the sound of her pained moans. 

She was covered with gashes and cuts, some fairly deep, from smashing into the sharp rocks on the way down the mesa. When he lifted her, many of her wounds reopened, her blood smearing on Erend’s arms, legs, and chest. He placed her carefully in the middle of the stretcher, then looked at his hands. Seeing the bright red on them made him want to scream, to be sick. He knew that the image of her blood on his hands was burned into his brain, and it would haunt him. It was like a stain that could never be washed off, a permanent reminder of her injuries.

Knowing that he didn’t have the luxury of wallowing in his horror, he got back to work. He secured Aloy to the stretcher, trying his best to ignore the bloody grass where she'd lain, then gave her more water and medicine for the pain. He kissed her softly on the forehead and smiled at her, hoping to reassure her. Once she was ready, he picked up the stretcher in his bloodstained hands and began walking.

For hours Erend walked at a steady pace, dragging the heavy stretcher along behind him. His legs protested, threatening to give out, but he ignored them. He didn’t care if he had to crawl on his stomach, he would get Aloy back to Meridian if it killed him.

As he trudged under the heavy stretcher on the long slow journey to the city, his mind kept turning over the events of the last day. He was filled with pain and worry, and regretted all of the things that he couldn’t change. 

He also kept flashing back to the helpless feeling that had overwhelmed him that day at The Spire, when he’d thought she’d been killed in the battle with HADES. He’d watched in horror as part of the city wall collapsed on her, but he was too far away to do anything but scream her name. He had channeled his rage and pain into the fight, each blow of his hammer bringing a small sense of temporary satisfaction. Tears had mixed with the sweat that streaked his face. 

He remembered the thought that kept running through his mind as he’d fought that day: Was every woman that he’d ever loved destined to meet a violent end?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Soundtrack:  
> Side A  
> Fear - Sarah McLachlan  
> I would die for you - Jann Arden  
> 4 am - Our Lady Peace  
> The Scientist - Coldplay  
> Scared - The Tragically Hip  
> Side B  
> When a man loves a woman - Percy Sledge  
> Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley  
> Without you - Harry Nilsson  
> Bridge over troubled water - Simon & Garfunkel  
> If you could read my mind - Gordon Lightfoot  
> Dust in the wind - Kansas  
> Both sides now - Joni Mitchell


	11. Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was one that took an unexpectedly long time to post. I had written the first draft, and put together the chapter soundtrack, everything ready to go over it a second time. The very next morning, I heard the news - one of my favourite artists, Chris Cornell, had passed away. I had been listening to his music literally the day before, and now he was gone. I never know quite how to react when these sorts of things happen, but needless to say I didn't feel much like writing. It was later revealed that he had died by his own hand, a further blow in an already tragic situation. 
> 
> When I went back for a second pass a few days later, the chapter ended up in a much darker place than I had originally intended. The interactions between Erend and Avad, in particular, hadn't been there in the first draft. But in light of everything that had happened in Erend's life, coupled with all that had just occurred in real life, it felt appropriate.
> 
> All of this to say - if someone that you care about is having a tough time, please reach out to them. Don't wait for them to come to you. It really can make all the difference.

Despite the growing dark, some of the vanguard who had stayed behind in Meridian spotted Erend as he entered the Maizelands. They ran to his side, and tried to take the stretcher from him, but he wouldn’t allow it. Instead, he sent them on ahead to advise the healers so that they’d be ready when he arrived.

As he neared the elevators, several healers arrived with a proper stretcher for Aloy. They carefully moved her on to it, and hurried her up to and through the city, Erend at their heels. 

Roan and some of the other vanguard were waiting for them at the door of the healers’ hall, intending to comfort Erend. Word had gotten around among the vanguard, and every one of them was as concerned for their Captain as they were for Aloy. They had seen the changes in Erend since he’d met her, all of the subtle ways that she’d transformed him, and they knew that the thought of her possibly being on death’s door, after everything he’d just been through with Ersa, would be too much for him to handle alone. They’d always stood beside him in a fight, and this fight would be no different. 

But what they hadn’t anticipated was how difficult it would be to try to drag him from Aloy’s side. Roan tried to stop him at the door of the healers’ hall, to give the healers space to do their work, but Erend shrugged him off without so much as breaking his stride. Roan grabbed Erend’s arm, but dropped it when he saw the look on his face. His eyes reminded Roan of a rabid animal, cornered and terrified. He also saw the blood that was crusted on Erend’s clothes, and he knew then that no one would be able to convince the Captain to leave her side. 

“We’ll be out here if you need us.” Roan shouted as the door closed on Erend’s back. 

The healers carried Aloy to one of the small rooms in the hall, and transferred her from the stretcher to a bed. Erend planted himself beside the head of the bed, an immovable mountain. The healers looked to Aloy, and she nodded – it was OK for him to stay. They let him be and immediately got to work. 

The healers started by cutting off most of her armour and clothing, leaving only enough to keep her modesty intact. During their examination, they confirmed that she had a leg broken in two places, a broken arm, three cracked ribs, and too many cuts and abrasions to count. Bruises covered most of her body, but thankfully she didn’t seem to have any internal bleeding or significant head trauma. The examination over, they moved on to trying to repair the damage that had been done. 

Aloy’s cries of pain filled Erend’s ears as each of her broken bones was set. The healers cleaned the sandy grit that had been ground into her open wounds during her fall, an agonizing experience that left her whimpering. They then stitched up the deepest cuts, forcing themselves to ignore her sobs. She was strong, and tough, but not immune to pain. Erend’s heart broke with every noise she made, quiet tears running down his face. There wasn’t anything that he wouldn’t give to be able to take her place, to take her pain.

Finally, their work done, the healers gave Aloy a thin shift to wear and left her alone to try to rest. Erend stayed by her bed, leaning over her and softly brushing her temple with the backs of his fingers in an attempt to soothe her. It took some time, but she eventually fell asleep. 

She’d always seemed superhuman in his eyes, invincible, Erend thought as he watched her sleep. He looked at the bruises already blooming on her face, the gashes that covered her arms, and wished that he’d been right. 

He grabbed the chair on the other side of the small room and brought it to Aloy’s bedside. He took her tiny hand in his, careful not to wake her, and rubbed his thumb along her knuckles. He sat there for the rest of the night, unsure whether he was comforting her or himself. 

At one point, not long after Aloy had fallen asleep, one of the healers popped her head into the room.

“Sir, excuse me. There are a number of vanguard outside who are wondering if it would be alright if they came inside. What should I tell them?”

Erend looked at Aloy for a moment, then nodded at the healer. His vanguard had obviously been standing vigil outside for hours. He knew that they had all grown very fond of Aloy and would want to know how she was doing. 

Roan was the first to enter the room, a look of concern on his face. Erend held a finger to his lips, indicating that they should be quiet. Roan nodded, and passed the message back to the crowd of vanguard gathered behind him. He walked in and went to stand beside Erend, a few more of the vanguard filling the room around him.

None of them knew quite what to say. It was clear to every one of them that Aloy had had a brush with death, her poor body evidence of what she had endured. Their Captain was still covered in dried blood, his eyes puffy from crying. 

“How is she?” Roan asked, his voice soft.

“The healers say that she’ll be alright, but they’re going to check on her again in the morning to be sure. Broken bones, lots of cuts and bruises, but nothing that won’t heal.”

"She’s a tough one, sir, she’ll be fine."

Erend nodded absentmindedly. He’d been telling himself the same thing since he’d found her.

"Sir, what happened? Was it machines? Bandits? Should we be out there looking for someone?" Kort asked from somewhere in the back of the room.

"No, no, nothing like that. She was climbing near the top of a mesa and the piece of rock that she was holding on to broke away."

There was a sharp intake of breath from the vanguard, a collective gasp. Each one drew a mental picture of her falling, tumbling like a child’s doll.

The soldiers lingered, not entirely sure what they should do, and indeed if there was anything TO do. They had been so sure that they would need to find the person or thing that had hurt Aloy, that there was an enemy to track down and bring to justice, that they didn’t know what to do with themselves now that they knew that they wouldn’t be hunting anyone down. 

Erend relieved them of their awkwardness. “Thanks for coming guys, it really means a lot that you came, that you stayed.” 

“Of course, Captain. We know that you would have done the same for any of us.” Ando said, watching Erend as he gave a small nod. The men and women of the vanguard were as much a family to him as his own clan, and he to them.

They each took a moment to reassure Erend, through a pat on the back or a kind word, before leaving. But Roan stayed behind, waiting until the room had cleared out.

"Erend, she’ll be ok you know."

"Yah, I know."

"When was the last time you ate? Or slept, for that matter?" Roan asked, concern filling his voice.

Erend looked at him, his brow creasing as he thought. "Uhhh….."

"That’s what I thought." Roan replied, cutting him off. "Look, I know that you’re not going to leave, but would you let me go get you some food and a change of clothes?"

Erend fingered one of the stains of darkened blood on his shirt sleeve. He looked up a Roan, whose compassionate face was watching him. They had fought side by side since Erend had been a junior freebooter, and when the chips were down Erend knew that Roan would always have his back.

"Yah, that would be great, thanks Roan." he said finally.

Roan smiled and gave him a gentle pat on the back, promising that he’d hurry back. He left Erend alone to return to his bedside ministrations.

The next morning, the healers came to check on Aloy again, and confirmed that no new symptoms had developed overnight. Having done all that they could for her, she was given more herbs for pain and swelling and then sent home. What she needed now was time to recover from her injuries, the healers said, and there was nothing that they could do to speed that along. They gave Erend a wheeled chair and sent them on their way.

As Erend steered Aloy towards his apartment, he vowed to attend to her every need. He’d been terrified that he’d lost her, and he found himself constantly needing to reassure himself that she was going to be ok. While he’d been searching, his mind had imagined a future without her in it, and the mere thought of it had nearly driven him mad.

When they got home, Erend gingerly picked her up, leaving the wheeled chair just outside the front door, and carried her inside. He moved slowly, carefully, worried about jostling her too much and causing her pain. Aloy laid her head on his shoulder and sighed. He kissed her forehead and carried her up the stairs to the bedroom. He laid her down, placing her as delicately as if she were made of fragile glass, and pulled the blankets over her.

“Alright, there you go. Do you need anything? Are you hungry? Thirsty?” Erend asked, wanting so desperately to alleviate her suffering.

“No, I’m ok. Just tired.” she replied.

“Ok, I’ll let you sleep then.” he said, brushing a stray strand of hair from her cheek. 

She smiled up at him as she blinked slowly, her eyelids heavy with sleep.

“Erend?” she whispered.

“Mmmhmm.”

“Thank you for coming to find me.”

“I will always come to find you, Aloy. Always.”

With that, she was asleep. Erend went to get a chair, setting it next to the head of the bed. He kept watch over her as she slept.

____________________

Erend was dozing, slumped over in his chair by the bed, when he was awoken by a knock at the door downstairs. He padded his way down the stairs, rubbing his mohawk back and forth hoping to wake himself up, and opened the door. He hadn’t known who was knocking, but he certainly hadn’t expected to see the face that greeted him.

“Avad?”

“I came to see how Aloy was doing. And you, of course. May I come in?” the Sun King asked, his kind eyes filled with concern.

Erend stepped aside, waving Avad inside. He nodded to the vanguard that had accompanied the king as they took their posts outside his front door. Each one of them gave him a look of encouragement. 

Erend closed the door and turned towards Avad, who was now standing in the middle of his sitting room. 

“Here, I brought these for Aloy. I hope that they’ll help to brighten her room, maybe cheer her up a little.” Avad said, handing Erend a vase overflowing with colourful flowers from his personal garden.

“Thank you, Avad. She’ll like these. She’s sleeping right now, but I’ll put them on the bedside table as soon as she wakes up.”

“How is she?” Avad asked, his brow furrowed. “Arnt and Roan reported what they were able to, but from the sounds of it she’s been through quite an ordeal.”

“Yah, that she was.” Erend replied, his eyes on the floor. “She had a close call, a really close call, but she’ll be alright. A few scars, no doubt, but otherwise no permanent damage.”

“Thank the Sun.” Avad said, obviously relieved. “And you? How are you doing through all of this?”

“I’m alright.”

Avad shot him a stern look. “Erend, I’m not an idiot. There’s no way that you’re anything even close to alright.”

Erend looked up at Avad. “No, I suppose not.”

“Talk to me Erend.” Avad pleaded. “Don’t try to do like you always do, bottle it up and bury it. Aloy deserves better than that. She needs more from you.”

Erend dropped his chin again, shame colouring his cheeks. Avad was right, of course Avad was right. 

“I really believed that I’d find her dead.” Erend started. “I kept thinking about Ersa, and I thought that the same thing would happen with Aloy. That I’d have to live that nightmare all over again. That I’d lost her.” Erend paused, trying to compose himself. “I thought that it was me, that I was some sort of curse, a death sentence. And I knew…..”

Avad waited patiently while Erend gathered his thoughts.

“I knew that if she was gone, that that would be it for me.”

“What does that mean, Erend?” Avad asked, suddenly worried. 

“I get it now, what my father went through when my mother died. There can be no happiness in this world if she isn’t here to share it with me.”

“Erend, are you telling me that you would have hurt yourself?” Avad asked, alarmed.

“I really don’t know, Avad. I just don’t know.”

Avad hugged him tightly. He knew that Erend loved Aloy, but he hadn’t realized just how deeply that love went. It hurt him, to see his friend in so much pain. 

“Thank you for talking to me about it, Erend.”

“Thank you for being here to listen.”

__________________

Over the next few days, many visitors stopped by to check on Aloy’s wellbeing. Every member of the vanguard stopped at least once, a few stopping almost daily. Avad came by again, as much to check in on Erend as anything else, bringing fresh flowers for Aloy. Marad stopped by, briefly, but couldn’t stay long. 

Erend sat by her bedside for days, fussing over her to a degree that was both sweet and suffocating. Aloy was happy to let him, for a while, but it soon became too much for her. She had always been so self-sufficient, so independent, that being ‘taken care of’ felt unnatural.

“So, when do you think you’ll go back to work?” she asked him one morning, after he’d brought her breakfast.

“Oh, I hadn’t really thought about it.” he replied. 

“Well, you should. What about today?”

“Today? I can’t…”

“Why not? Erend, I don’t want you to think that I don’t appreciate what you’re doing for me. But I’m just laying here, healing. It’ll take time, and there really isn’t much that you can do to change that.”

“I know that, but…”

“No buts. I don’t think that it’s healthy for you to sit there night and day, worrying about me, Erend. I want you to go outside, get some fresh air and sunshine. I think that getting back to work is just the distraction that you need.”

He looked at her, skeptical.

She laid her hand on his forearm, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Heh, I’m not going anywhere. And I know that you’re here for me. If I need something, I’ll ask. I promise.” 

Erend’s eyes searched hers for a long while before he sighed, his shoulders slumping. “Alright, I’ll go in today. But I’m coming back to check on you, regularly.”

“That sounds good.” 

And so it went, every day for the next few weeks. Erend would bring Aloy breakfast and get her settled. He went to work, leaving her to sleep, but came mid-morning to check on her. He came back at midday, and again mid-afternoon. He brought as much of his work home as he could, having set up a work table in the sitting room, so that he could be nearby if she called. In the evening, he would bring her supper and change her dressings, gently applying salve to her cuts and scrapes. He’d settle into his chair beside the bed, chatting with her about his day, then watch her as she fell asleep. He always spent the night in the chair, too afraid of jostling her in his sleep.

It wasn’t long before Erend’s nightmares started. They began almost as soon as he’d brought Aloy home, and got worse as she got better. They were never the same, and yet somehow they were always the same. He dreamt about searching endlessly for her, but never finding her, his beloved Aloy lost to him forever. He dreamt about watching her fall, unable to stop her. He dreamt about finding her dead, of holding her limp body in his arms. He even dreamt about being washed away in a river of her blood, drowning as the weight of the torrent squeezed his chest. 

In his nightmares, his hands were almost always dirty. One night, after he’d woken from a particularly vivid one, he actually went to the washing room and scrubbed his hands raw, trying to erase the memory of her blood dripping from his fingers. 

Avad was the first to notice Erend’s exhaustion, the dark circles under his eyes. He had been watching his friend with keen interest, worried about his wellbeing. One morning, after their daily briefing, Avad waved Marad and the other guards away, wanting a private moment with his vanguard Captain.

“How are you holding up?” he asked quietly, once the room had cleared.

Erend sighed. “It’s been a bit rough. I haven’t been sleeping much lately.”

“Why is that?” Avad asked.

“Well, when I’m able to fall asleep, which is not often, I wake up as soon as I hear the smallest sound or movement. I keep thinking that she needs me, you know? So I jump out of my chair to check on her….”

“Chair?” Avad cut in. “You’re sleeping in that chair?”

“Uh, well, yah. I’m too worried about bumping her when I’m sleeping, hurting her.”

“Erend, you’re being ridiculous! You will not hurt her if you brush up against her! Do you really think that she’s that fragile, knowing all that you know about her?”

Erend sighed again, too tired to argue. “No, I know. But if I thrash around in my sleep…”

“Thrash around?” Avad cut in again. “Erend, what’s going on with you?”

Erend’s eyes dropped to the floor in front of his feet. “I’ve been having nightmares lately, some pretty bad ones.”

Now it was Avad’s turn to sigh. “Of course you have. You went through a deeply traumatic experience, my friend. You thought you’d lost her, and indeed you very nearly did. I would worry about you even more if you weren’t having a difficult time with this. Have you talked to Aloy about any of it?” 

“No, no, I can’t tell her. I don’t want her to worry about me or to feel responsible, or guilty. I can’t add anything more to what she’s already dealing with.”

Avad nodded pensively. “Well then, you and I will talk about it.”

Erend thought for a while. “Yah, alright.”

And so they did. As the days passed, Erend told Avad about his dreams, and all of his conflicting emotions as he cared for Aloy. At times he was angry, upset with her that she hadn’t been more careful, wondering why she took such risks. Other times he felt sadness at seeing her in pain, or happiness, or worry, or fear. He bounced around like a ball, cycling through every feeling imaginable. Avad always listened, offering support. Erend really did feel better after his chats with Avad, thankful that his friend was such a good listener.

______________ 

The healers stopped by often, checking on Aloy’s progress, and they were happy to see that her body was quick to heal. She was young, strong, and healthy; and was being well cared for. Her bruises soon turned an ugly yellowish green as they faded, her cuts and abrasions scabbing over, eventually revealing pale new flesh beneath them. But as she healed, Aloy began to test Erend’s patience more and more, and he hers. She was restless, and hated being cooped up in the apartment, but couldn’t yet move around on her own. Sitting still for days on end felt impossible, and she felt trapped. But most of all, she hated feeling helpless, coddled. 

“I’d like to go outside today.” she told Erend one day when he came to do his mid-afternoon check-in. “Can you carry me down to the wheeled chair, please?”

“What? Why?”

“Because it’s a beautiful day, and I want to go wheel myself around Meridian for a while.”

“Can it wait until I get home? I can’t go with you right now.”

“That’s ok, I can go by myself.”

“By yourself? What happens if you need help?”

“Then I’ll figure something out, Erend. It’s not like it would be the first time.”

“No way, Aloy, I need to be there.”

“Erend…..”

“Not today, Aloy. Please, just not today. Can we talk about this when I get home tonight?”

“Fine, tonight then.”

Erend planted a kiss on her forehead. “Thank you for understanding.”

“But that’s just the thing, Erend, I don’t understand. I know that I put you through something horrible, and I will never stop being sorry about that. But you’ve got to realize that you can’t keep smothering me.”

Erend ground his teeth, knowing that it wasn’t the right time to fight about this. “We’ll talk more tonight.” he said curtly as he turned to go.

A dark cloud followed Erend as he made his way back to the palace, his mood sour as he stomped along. It wasn’t until he passed by the balcony, ‘their’ balcony, that he stopped to consider her point of view. He leaned on the railing, looking out over the jungle below, and let out a weary sigh. He realized that she was right, that he was focusing all of his stress and anxiety onto her. It wasn’t fair of him, and he promised himself that he’d tell her as much when he got home.

When he walked into the apartment later that night, he headed straight upstairs. He walked into the bedroom and saw that the healer was there, checking on Aloy.

“Everything seems to be healing well. We’ll be able to take off your splints tomorrow. Your legs will still be weak and sore, but it should be easier for you to move around a little bit.”

“Thank you.” Erend and Aloy said at the same time as the healer bent to gather his things.

Erend waited until he heard the front door closing as the healer left. “Aloy, you’re right and I’m sorry. I need to ease up, I know that.”

“I know that you worry about me Erend. I just don’t know how many times I’ll have to tell you that I’m ok before you’ll believe me.” 

“Well, what do you say we start to change that right now? Do you still want to go outside for a walk?”

Aloy nodded, beaming. Erend walked over to the bed and picked her up, smiling when she wrapped her arm around his neck. He carried her down the stairs and to the wheeled chair that he’d left just inside the front door.

“Alright, let’s go.” he said as he wheeled her outside.

Erend pushed Aloy slowly around the city, both of them enjoying the fresh evening air. They chatted, the tension between them evaporating into the night. Erend knew better than to think that he was going to stop being overprotective of her in a single evening, but he was beginning to feel like he could finally begin to let his guard down. 

After wandering around the city for a while, Erend’s stomach started to growl. He turned, intending to head back to the apartment, but Aloy stopped him. 

“No, wait. I’m not ready to head back yet. What do you say we go to the tavern for supper tonight?”

Erend looked down at her and grinned. “Aloy, I think that that’s the best idea you’ve ever had.” 

The cheer that rose up when Erend wheeled her into the tavern was deafening. There were tables full of vanguardsmen, which was not entirely unexpected, and Erend pushed her towards one that had a few empty spots. Sorka stood and moved a few chairs around, clearing a space for Aloy’s wheeled chair. 

“It’s good to see you up and around.” she said warmly as she sat back down. “We were all worried about you.”

Erend took the empty seat next to Aloy. He was feeling happier than he’d felt in a long time, almost giddy. He watched Aloy as she chatted with Sorka, and it was as if a weight was being lifted off his shoulders. Things were finally beginning to return to normal.

“Drinks on me!” he shouted above the din, grinning from ear to ear as the vanguard whooped and cheered. They always knew that their Captain was in a good mood when he bought them a round. 

___________________

 

The healer visited Aloy the next day, finally removing the splints that had immobilized Aloy’s broken bones. She felt free, but the healer warned her not to push herself too hard - her bones were not yet completely healed. “You can try walking around a little, but you’ll have to pace yourself. And no running or jumping for another few weeks, ok?”

Aloy nodded. Anything was better than staring at these four walls for one more minute. 

When Erend came for his usual mid-afternoon check-in, she was sitting on the edge of the bed. 

“See? No more splints!” she said, lifting her leg. 

Erend hurried forward, wrapping her in a big hug. “That’s fantastic news, Aloy.” 

When he released her, she tried to stand. Erend felt a sense of dread rising in his chest. “Are you sure that that’s a good idea?”

Aloy shot him an annoyed look. “Erend, we talked about this.”

“I know, I know. I’m working on it. But please, take things slow.” he pleaded. 

Aloy nodded, and he hugged her again, burying his face in her hair. 

“Alright, well if everything is ok here, I have to get back to work.”

“Everything’s fine, Erend. I’ll see you later.”

He kissed her forehead and turned to go. 

Once Erend had returned to work, Aloy decided that she’d had enough of the apartment, and it was too beautiful outside not to take advantage of the day. She headed outside, deciding that she’d see how far her legs would take her.

But her legs, weakened after weeks of disuse, didn’t get her as far as she’d hoped. She found that she had to stop to rest on her return trip to the apartment.

Aloy was gone longer than she’d expected, which meant that she wasn’t there when Erend came home later that night. He dropped the armful of scrolls that he’d been holding on the work table that he’d set up and headed upstairs to their room.

No Aloy. He checked the bathing room, thinking maybe the healer had come again. No Aloy. He checked Ersa’s room, then went down to check the kitchen, taking the stairs two at a time. Still no Aloy.

He called for her, and the silence echoed in his ears. A familiar feeling of panic filled his chest. She should be here. Where was she? Not again, not again, not again… 

Erend went crashing out the front door, his mind whirling. Would someone have taken her somewhere? Did the healers need to see her back at their hall? He was trying to decide where to start the search when he saw her rounding a corner down the street, headed slowly towards him. 

Erend couldn’t believe his eyes. She’d gone off by herself, in her state, and for what? What would ever possess her to do something like that? His fear turned into anger. He had promised her that he’d ease up, but that didn’t mean that she had the right to scare him like that.

Erend marched down the street towards her, muttering a string of curses. Aloy smiled when she looked up and saw him coming towards her, but that smile quickly faded when she saw the look on his face.

“What are you doing?” he asked angrily once he’d reached her.

“I was sick of sitting and looking at the wall, so I went for a walk.”

“Went for a…….You’ve got to be…… Nevermind, let’s go home.”

Her pace was slower than usual, which frustrated him. He wanted nothing more than to scoop her up and carry her back to bed, but instead he walked beside her, fuming.

They finally arrived back at the apartment, and Aloy went to sit on the settee. Her legs were feeling better already, stronger. The walk had been a good idea.

She sat there for a little while, watching Erend pace back and forth. He finally hung his hammer by the door and removed his armour. He sat down to try and do some of the paperwork he had brought with him.

He’d gotten through part of the pile when he threw down his quill and went to get a mug of water from the pitcher in the kitchen. He set it on his work table with a thud.

“Ok, that’s enough.” Aloy said. “WHAT is your problem all of a sudden?”

“My problem? My problem, Aloy, is that I’m very angry with you.”

“I can see that. I just don’t know why.”

“Seriously? You don’t know why? Aloy, you can’t just go off like that, without letting me know where you’re going!”

“I can’t go out? Since when? I’ve taken care of myself for most of my life, why do you suddenly think that I need to check with you?”

“Arrrrrg, I’m not saying you have to check with me, I’m asking you to tell me.” 

“That’s ridiculous Erend. You want to know my every move now? Why?”

“Because I worry about you.”

“Because of this?” she said, motioning to her legs.

“Yes. No.”

“No? Then why?”

Erend growled in frustration. “Because.” he snapped.

Aloy huffed, equally frustrated. “Because why, Erend.”

“BECAUSE I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU, THAT’S WHY!” he yelled, his anger overwhelming his brain. 

He froze instantly. He’d said it. He’d actually said it. The words had come out of his mouth and he wished desperately that he could scoop them out of the air, but he couldn’t. His secret had been revealed. He looked at Aloy, frozen in front of him, her eyes wide with shock and disbelief. She made for the door, faster than her injured legs should have been able to carry her.

“Aloy. Aloy, wait, don’t go. ALOY!” he called to her quickly retreating back. The door slammed shut behind her, and he was alone.

Erend sunk to his knees, any will to stand seeping out of his body. Tears streamed down his face and he screamed at the top of his lungs, devastated with anger and sadness in equal measure. He clenched his hands, pounding them onto the wooden floor so hard that it shook. Trying to find an outlet for his pain, he screamed again; then dropped his chin to his chest and wrapped his arms around his head, hoping to shut out the world. He wept, sure that he’d just ruined the only good thing that he had left in his life.  


What have you done Erend, he asked himself again and again. What have you done? 

_____  
_____  
_____  
_____

 

Aloy ran blindly through the streets, her poor legs begging her to stop. Tears clouded her eyes, but she didn’t really care where she was going, as long as it was away. His words repeated in her head, an endless loop of confusion. I’m in love with you, he’d said. He hadn’t just said love, he’d said IN love. Aloy didn’t know what to feel, so on she ran.

But her legs, still recovering from their injuries, could only carry her so far. She fell, her legs giving out, and landed on the street with a thud. The street was empty, so there was no one to help her. There was also no one to see her cry. She was thankful for that.

She’d been laying there in the dusty street for a while when her thoughts turned in a new direction. Erend said that he was in love with her, but how did he know that? How could he be sure? She knew that there was only one person who could answer that question, and he was the person that she least wanted to speak to. She sat up and began to dust herself off, working up the courage to go back and face him. It was a misunderstanding, she told herself, they’d had a fight and they just needed to sort things out. Everything would be back to normal by morning, she thought, as she slowly limped back towards Erend’s apartment.

The tears had dried on Erend’s cheeks, but he still hadn’t moved from his spot on the floor when he heard the door open. His head snapped up as Aloy walked in. She’d been gone a long time, and it looked like she’d been crying too. Erend jumped to his feet, desperate to repair what he’d broken.

“Aloy! By the forge, Aloy I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I said, I’m sorry.”

“What do you mean, you shouldn’t have said it? Was it the truth?” 

Erend looked at the floor. “Yah, it's the truth.” His head snapped back up to look at her again “But I still shouldn’t have said anything! I promised myself that I wouldn’t say anything, I never wanted you to know.”

She looked at him, hurt and confusion marring her beautiful face. By the forge, Erend thought, I couldn’t have messed this up more if I had covered it in blaze and set it on fire. His chest constricted, ashamed he’d caused her to feel that way.

“I don’t understand, Erend, why didn’t you want me to know?”

Erend began to pace. He had to fix this, somehow. “I didn’t tell you about how I felt because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. You’re too important to me, Aloy. I couldn’t lose you.”

“How long?” Aloy asked him, trying to gain clarity. “How long have you felt this way?”

Erend avoided her eyes. “Well, it began when I saw you in the crowd at Mother’s Heart. You were, you ARE, the most beautiful person I’d ever seen. But I fell in love with you that day at Red Ridge Pass.” Aloy was shocked. It had been THAT long? “I saw that you were not only beautiful, but you were smart, strong, compassionate. You took the time to help me, when you had so much going on yourself. You gave me hope, Aloy. That’s when I fell in love with you.”

“But how do you know that, Erend? What do you mean when you say that you’re in love with me?” 

Erend stood there, confused. “I don’t know what you mean, Aloy.”

“I mean, what does that feel like? How do you know to call it love, instead of something else?”

He struggled, reaching to find an answer. How do you explain the unexplainable? “I don’t know Aloy. It’s like trying to describe joy or sadness. You can’t really describe it, you just know that you feel it.” 

Aloy went to sit on the settee, trying to sort out everything that she was feeling.

“I’m trying to figure this out, Erend, but it’s hard for me to do. I’ve only ever loved one person before, and that was Rost. I know that I don’t feel about you the way I felt about him, it’s different with you. But I’ve never had friends before, so I don’t have anyone else to compare it to. 

I know that I trust you completely. I miss you when you’re not around. I care about your feelings, about your opinion on things. I know that I can talk to you about anything, but I’m just as happy to sit beside you and stare into the fire, just being together. It makes me happy to see you happy, and it breaks my heart to see you in pain. I admire you, for all kinds of reasons. But isn’t that what friendship is, Erend? Those all seem like things that a best friend would do.”

Erend sighed, his heart heavy. “They are.”

“So then, what’s different for you?”

“Well, for starters, I want to kiss you, all of the time.” 

“We’ve kissed before, Erend. Lots of times.” Aloy said, still grasping at understanding.

“Not in the way that I’m talking about.” Erend said, a gruffness to his voice.

“Show me what you mean.” 

Erend couldn’t believe his ears, but he wasn’t about to miss his chance. He walked slowly, purposefully, over to where she sat, and took her hand to help her to her feet. He slid his hand behind her neck, his fingers tangling in her hair, while his other hand found her waist. He pulled her closer as he leaned down, his breath shaking and his heart pounding. It was the moment that he’d fantasized about since the day they’d met, and he wanted it to be perfect.

His lips found hers, and he felt her body stiffen, the unfamiliar feeling surprising to her. As his lips moved, she began to relax and follow his lead. His kiss was soft, gentle, loving - he didn’t want to scare her. But as she responded to him, wrapping her arms around him, his kiss grew more passionate. He had wanted this for so long, now that the floodgates had opened he had trouble restricting the flow of emotions. He breathed in deeply through his nose as he pulled her closer still, his kiss hungrier, more urgent. He flicked his tongue against hers, and when she did the same he thought he’d lose his mind.

Electricity flashed through his body, every nerve tingling; and a growl escaped from somewhere in the back of his throat. Erend allowed himself to get lost in the feeling of Aloy’s lips on his, her body crushed against him. It was even more amazing than he had imagined. 

He heard a small voice in the back of his mind, urging him to stop. He knew he should, but he didn’t want to. He might never get the chance again, and he wanted to imprint his lips with the feel of her kisses. Easy, Erend, the small voice said. He continued to ignore it, reveling in the moment. Stop. STOP EREND. NOW, EREND. 

He broke away from her and stepped back, reluctantly loosening his grasp. His pulse was racing, his breathing heavy. His eyes fell to her lips, now red and swollen, and he stared at them.

“That’s what I mean, when I say that I want to kiss you.” he said, leaning his forehead against hers as he tried to catch his breath. 

Aloy stood there, just as breathless. She’d never felt anything like that before. Her whole body felt strange, hot. No wonder Erend liked to kiss, she thought, it felt incredible.

They stood there for a while longer as their breathing slowly returned to normal. Erend lifted his head from hers, his hands sliding from her body as he took another few steps back. 

Aloy felt woozy, her legs wobbly beneath her and her head still foggy from the passionate embrace. She sat back down as her mind began to whir – thinking, considering. She sat there for a while, Erend watching her patiently as she thought.

“I think I know now.” Saying the words out loud made her even more sure that she was right.

“Know what, Aloy? I don’t understand what that means.” Erend said, confused.

“It means that I think that I’m in love with you too.”

 

-END OF PART 1-

 

Stay tuned for Part 2 (aka the part in which smutty things happen) of Journeys toward dawn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Soundtrack:  
> Love will tear us apart - Joy Division  
> Numb - Gary Clark Jr.  
> Heartbroken, In Disrepair - Dan Auerbach  
> Have mercy on me - The Black Keys  
> When the levee breaks - Led Zeppelin  
> Rusted from the rain - Billy Talent  
> Fall to Pieces - Velvet Revolver  
> Fade to Black - Metallica  
> Fell on Black Days - Soundgarden  
> Like a stone - Audioslave  
> Weightless - City & Colour  
> Don’t wanna fight - Alabama Shakes
> 
> And so ends part one of our story. I would like to thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for staying with Erend, Aloy, and I as we undertook this journey together. I would also like to give a special thanks to all those who offered comments and encouraging words. Truth be told, I had almost talked myself out of posting my story once it was written, I had so convinced myself that it wasn’t any good. I only posted it in an insane moment of “oh what the hell, let’s see what happens”. Thank you for offering your opinions on my work – your kind words and feedback have already started the wheels turning on a new story. Let’s see where that one goes.
> 
> If you’re wondering why I broke the story into two parts, it was primarily because of the fact that I knew that Erend and Aloy would end up together, but I knew that it would take a while for them to get there. I wanted to offer a relatively self-contained story to those who prefer not to read about adult situations (aka smut) in part one. Part two will explore Erend and Aloy’s relationship as it moves to the next level. And while I haven’t written it yet, the outline is done and I can tell you that, well, it looks like they’re going to make up for lost time. And there was a lot of lost time. A lot.
> 
> We’ll see you there.


End file.
